Microsoft ‘delays’ their ‘Big Ass Table’

Microsoft “is finding the task of bringing the [Surface] tabletop computer to market a little rougher than it anticipated,” Ina Fried reports for CNET News.

“The software maker’s initial plan was to get partners with the touch-screen machines up and running as early as this month. Now it estimates it will take until spring before the devices start showing up in locations like Sheraton hotels, Harrah’s casinos, and T-Mobile retail locations,” Fried reports. “Part of the holdup has been in developing the custom software each of those partners needs, as well as making sure the hardware is suited to their locations.”

“The product, originally code-named Milan, looks a bit like a 1980s sit-down Ms. Pac Man machine, but uses infrared cameras and a projector to create a touch-screen that can respond to multiple users’ hand gestures, as well as interact with other objects,” Fried reports.

Microsoft’s Big Ass Table:

Direct link via YouTube here.

Fried continues, “In a recent interview with CNET News.com, Bill Gates spoke about the potential of surface computing to go far beyond the tabletop, once the costs come down. The initial units are expected to cost in the range of $5,000 to $10,000, but the company still hopes they will fall to a price affordable to consumers within three to five years… ‘It can be in every desk,’ Gates said. ‘It can be in every table, it can be in every whiteboard, every mirror. Give us a 5- to 10-year time frame and we will wonder why our tables used to just sit there and not do anything for us.'”

Full article here.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “MacVicta” for the heads up.]

Does Gates – who obviously lost his mind years ago (if he ever really had one at all) – expect us all to collectively forget that tables have been providing places upon which to eat, work, worship, etc. for thousands of years?

While he’s working diligently to, uh, “redefine the table,” plus figuring out how to pack that jumble of cameras and junk into a friggin mirror (which, we must admit, would be just perfect for Blue Man Group), Apple will have lapped his sorry, visionless assemblage of wasted talent up in Redmond many more times over.

Just check into that Vegas hotel, Mr. Mediocrity, get to work growing those fingernails, and give us all a break finally.

Microsoft’s Surface was never going to be available as they promised. It is nothing more than a Rube Goldberg concoction that attempts to divert the attention of the gullible by shouting “Hey, look over here, ignore that Apple multi-touch stuff! No, really, look: it’s a $10,000 Big Hairy Ass Table!” Microsoft’s Surface video is a mock up – the thing doesn’t even do half of what’s shown. In fact, it does nothing, as it’s still vapor.

Meanwhile, Apple’s been selling affordable multi-touch technology that fits in your pocket (not sits in the corner of Pizza Hut) by the millions since early summer.

Every time there’s iPhone news (see Germany and the UK today), Microsoft trots out some “news” about their Big Ass Table (good or bad, it doesn’t matter) to try to suck some oxygen away from whatever Apple’s doing with real products. It’s the same sad, empty tactic as talking about “the next version of Windows” every time Apple releases a new Mac OS version while Microsoft’s sufferers remain stuck clinging to an aged, 6+ year old, upside-down and backwards fake Mac OS because their latest bad fake of a past Apple Mac OS is a laughable mess. About the only thing Microsoft does well is produce an endless litany of empty promises designed to keep their sheep in the pen.

Look at iPhone vs. Surface today: a better illustration of how far Apple’s ahead of Microsoft would be hard to find.

105 Comments

  1. Hell it took 5 to 10 years to release Vista and he thinks that they can do every table and wall around with this crap – Also why the hell would I want to download my pictures to a table at a Sheriton®?

  2. Damn thing better have 3-D Galaxian for ten big ones.

    Uncle Fester and Turtle Boy have to pretend to shareholders that they are innovating. Most of their R & D budget is actually spent on sophisticated spying equipment that’s aimed 855 miles due south of Redmond.

  3. MDN – well put dudes!!!!

    Besides… I love to PLUG my TABLE in to the wall.
    That’s quite a concept there.
    Someone’s gonna TRIP on the wires, fall and brake the table.
    10 Grand down the toilet.

    Oh gee, lets go to the dinning room kids to watch some videos on the TABLE.

    Cool… EastSide Marios… I can wait 4 my meal…
    wipe my hands all over the freaking table and place an order while my son doodles and my daughter browses the net.
    All on a freaking MSN digital Table.
    Weee what a cool night out.

    dd

  4. Give some legs to the iPhone and you’ll have a better table… just kidding, but more seriously, by the time MS get that table ready, people will be playing with their Mac Touch (the iPod Touch of productivity)…

  5. It will never be a product. It is like that Orgami, Orgamy, or whatever it is/was called. Lots of initial hoopla, then it will vanish.

    Microsoft needs to focus on one thing, software.

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