“The first Apple iPhones hit US shops tomorrow and their arrival has thrown the spotlight on the fanatical and burgeoning movement known as the iCult. Already iPilgrims are queuing outside the Apple temple in Manhattan’s 5th Avenue to be the first to own the holy handset,” Robert Shrimsley writes for The Financial Times.
“The iPhone is the latest ‘cool tool’ from the mind of Steve Jobs. The self-styled techno-prophet appears to believers in a black polo neck at mass religious gatherings known as MacWorld, with revelations of ways they can part with their money,” Shrimsley writes. “At first, the iCultists were seen as a harmless tech-heads who droned on about their Macs, but of late they have adopted a sinister, evangelical tone.”
“It’s easy to spot iCultists. They can be seen in crowds showing off the features of their iPod or bleating on about the user-friendly, ‘almost intuitive’ features on their laptop. ‘Once you’ve tried Mac, there’s no going back,’ they say,” Shrimsley writes.
“With the iPhone, Jobs has taken the iCult to the next level with a sleek, new piece of kit about which to evangelise. Smoking may soon be banned but every boozer will be filled with passive smugness as local iCultists show off the handset’s array of dazzling but pointless features,” Shrimsley writes.
Full article, Think Before You Click™, here.
Shrimsley displays many classic signs of Stockholm Syndrome and Cognitive Dissonance:
• Negative feelings by the victim toward family, friends, or authorities trying to rescue/support them or win their release
• Inability to engage in behaviors that may assist in their release or detachment
• Seeking to reduce information or opinions that make him or her uncomfortable
Don’t hate ignorant lemmings like Shrimsley who viciously and blindly lash out at things and people that threaten the comfort of their limited world view; pity them. They have been abused by Microsoft and other purveyors of mediocrity so hard and for so long that they cannot accept that others are free and happy. Fearful sufferers like Shrimsley subconsciously want everyone to enter into their hell in the vain hope that it will somehow help to reduce their misery. Shrimsley and others like him are obviously in a sad, sad state.
Related: Defending Windows over Mac a sign of mental illness
MacDailyNews Note: Fellow cultists, the annual cult of Apple indoctrination will be held at Apple and AT&T company-owned retail stores tomorrow, June 29, at 6pm local time. Don’t miss your chance at enlightenment! Following the event, we’ll all hop into the vans and go door to door selling iTunes Gift Cards, watching iPhone ads on our iPhones, and soliciting Windows to Mac switchers. As usual, the Kool-aid reception is planned for midnight – all are welcome. Do not forget your robes!
Sounds like somebody’s long on Microsoft stock.
So it’s known as the iCult with iPilgrims yet within the same article they’re then called iCultists from then on and iPilgrims isn’t mentioned again. Even if the gist of the article were true it doesn’t stop the thing being bollocks.
MDN… Amen.
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Shirm has nailed the impression among the great majority of people who care about technology that we are, indeed, cultists and mindless lemmings of the exalted Mr. Jobs.
“At first, the iCultists were seen as a harmless tech-heads who droned on about their Macs, but of late they have adopted a sinister, evangelical tone.”
Sinister??? Wow…
Sounds like someone’s long on Steve Ballmer’s c#@k…
I would not consider them part of an iCult.
The proper view is the iPeople joining in iForce to get iFreedom!!!!
iThink I have said iNufff!
typical british envy….
once a great empire, now just pathetic wannabees
seen most clear through the press
While the rest of our countrymen are concerned about the war, amnesty, and Paris, we faithful have only two questions that govern our lives at the moment: 1. Can I get my hands on this thing by midnight tomorrow and 2. Will it work like it’s suppose to?
That is, assuming the rest of our countrymen are concerned about anything at all.
“black polo neck”
Bucka-Wha?
I’m reminded of “The Architect’s Sketch”…
“…I see. Well, of course, this is just the sort of blinkered philistine ignorance I’ve come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker’s cuss for the struggling artist. You excrement, you whining hypocritical toadies with your colour TV sets and your Tony Jacklin golf clubs and your bleeding masonic secret handshakes. You wouldn’t let me join, would you, you blackballing bastards. Well I wouldn’t become a Freemason if you went down on your stinking knees and begged me.”
Olé “Bobbi” is probably moist around the privates about not picking the right horse in the race and having a bunch of useless worthless Windows Hardware cluttering up his flat.
I’ll just smile and wave… 24 hours and 8 hours away in my timezone.
Hano
Those in the empire view the cultist, remember the empire has chosen the name for us, in the rebellion as sinister and evil because we may Think Different.
Will he also put that tag on iPod users…of which about 90% are Windows users?
No Kool-aid for me. I’m strictly a sweet tea drinker, but I’m all aboard for the rest.
well, “Like it or not”,
“the great majority of people who care about technology” are coroporate drones haven’t come up with a technology they really cared about in a long time. they are interested in doing what everyone else is doing, which IMHO means you will never be better than anyone else. That is the definition of MS Windows in a nutshell.
It seems to me that the only folks who *are* really caring about technology, have Macs, Linux or other non-beige/black box on their desk. The others are giving you the “thousand yard” stare or lovin’ the life of monkeying with dll hell.
Even writers with nothing to write about realize that the iPhone frenzy is the one opportunity they have to get their name in the spotlight. So they write articles about the iPhone filled with nothing.
Now excuse me while I go and pray to Sri Sri Mahatranscendental Guruji The Holy Exalted One Mgr. Steven Jobs in my Temple of The Mac (No Forbidden Apples there, I tell you!) . . . . . .
Shrimsley sounds a lot like a Neo-Con to me.
I drank the Kool-Aid and am damn happy I did!
God I hate this “Mac users are a cult” thing.
If there is a cult of brainless sheep in the world it’s Windows users.
They put up with all the instability problems, security issues, etc, etc., and _STILL_ refuse to even peek at anything that might be better. MSFT has them brainwashed and they don’t even know it!
I thought it was hilarious.
Long, long ago, I wrote a liturgy for the Macintosh for a coworker who was a Mac fanatic. It included a declaration of faith (“…and Steve Jobs is its Profit”) a few hymns, including Hymn 6502, and the Apple Creed. The prayer of confession asked for forgiveness for having used MS-DOS. The service ended with the officiant “making the sign of the Apple.” He thought it was hysterical and even made it the Mac’s wallpaper.
Lighten up and laugh a little.
While I do believe there are many Apple fans that overly fervent and believe Jobs can do no wrong, it is also a huge overstatement to say that all Apple loyalists are in a cult. I love Apple because they make well designed products that are easy to use. Unabashed Apple loyalist.
However, douchebags like Shrimsley and Dvorak now want to paint everyone that owns an iPod with the same brush. However, I know many iPod owners that are still vocal Windows advocates. Sure, iPod owners are getting a taste of Apple hardware and software, but that does not mean they are rabidly pro-Apple.
The iPhone is in the same category. People are drawn to it because it is a cool tech toy. Like the iPod, they are free to view it outside the prism of OSX marketshare that clouds they minds of many people in regard to Macs.
When the author referred to the iPhone as “the holy handset,” did anyone else picture the scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail with the holy hand grenade?
@G Spank,
Dang, I thought Shrimsley sounded a lot like a “progressive”! (Read that “knee-jerk liberal.”)
Hmmm.
FT = Forbes in many ways. The represent big business, they support big business, small and medium businesses are good only for fodder to be taken over by big business.
What they would like most is to beat Apple’s share price down then it be bought by some private equity group. They would have a plan something like sell iPhone to Moto, iPod to Sandisk, OSX to Dell and the Apple brand to Packard Bell.
That would generate lots of commissions, so what if it harmed the consumer.
MDN: Start publishing the authors email address below the article link. That way we can decide whether to give them hits that they desire, or something that pays a little less – lots of corrective email.
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Well if liking Apple’s products is a cult, then liking Microsoft’s products is a mental illness.
Every windozzz user out there needs their head examined by a shrink.
Let’s look at the symptoms of your average windozz nut-case;
– Feels the urge to always punish themselves
– Obsessed with wiping their pc harddrive on a weekly basis
– Always searching for that ‘utopian’ anti-virus tool that will clear up and protect their harddrives from the 100,000+ windows malware
– Has never had a girlfriend
– Even though they are 40+ years old they still live their parents
– Work in a deadend grey job (e.g. the government or civil service)
– Hate everything about Apple
– Have nude posters of Bill Gates and Steve Ballmer on their walls.
There you go – your average Financial Times Reporter Profile!
If I didn’t want an iPhone already, I would buy one just because of that jackass. . His Dell probably crashed so no one handed self serve over his favorite porn sites. That lack of anger management could make him cranky. What a nasty little guy.
His opinion is irrevelvant.
I have the strange urge to say…”Resistance is futile.”
Sounds like someone can’t afford an iPhone.
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..writes Robert Shrimsley as he carries own his own personal relationship with Vista, virus, malware, vaporware, spyware, antivirus programs, firewalls, reboots, zuneware, windows mobileware and bad hair …sounds like you’ve got some indoctrinations, yourself, Robert.
Sounds like someone can’t afford an iPhone.
—
…Or he is still waiting for his paycheck from Microsoft!
I hope it is grape Kool-aid that’s my favorite!
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“Don’t hate ignorant lemmings like Shrimsley who viciously and blindly lash out at things and people that threaten the comfort of their limited world view; pity them.”
Ironic but that’s exactly how MDN and many of posters here treat everyone else. Visciously lashing out at everyone who Thinks Differently than you do.
It’s true what they say….what goes around comes around and this article is right on.
I wonder will it still be a cult when the market share gets around 80% and Shrillsley is writing columns for macWorld?
“Drool” is this guys middle name…it’s too bad his peer pressure still has priority over his
life and real desires to be a part of the cool Apple technologies.
He is really fighting himself and truly knows his interpretation of what 3rd party technology investments he thought was best is in the death spiral with all the rest. To sum it up…this guy is in denial.
toonie,
Your bullshit thesis fails miserably in the face of the overall general consensus by independent reviewers that Apple products from Mac OS X to iLife to iMac to MacBooks to iPod to iPhone are superior to the those of competitors like Microsoft, Dell, Creative, etc.
MDN is right.
yea Financial Times is ‘Liberal’ media, funny. I respect real conservatives, not Neo Cons, who aren’t conservative and don’t give a s#%* about anyone else but their power and money.
“with a sleek, new piece of kit…”
On the internet, no one can hear you scream…
But everyone knows you’re British.
I’m not a mindless lemming and I doubt that most who use Macs, iPods, or any Apple product are. We know a good product when we see one. We know Windows is a pain in the ass to work with. We know OSX DOES NOT GET VIRUSES AND SPYWARE. We know that OSX has never been hacked successfully without cheating. We know the iPod is the easiest MP3/video player and that iTunes is the best online store for media. We know this guy in the article is SO JEALOUS! We know anyone who calls us mindless lemmings can’t stand the fact that Apple has broken through and is showing the world or most of it that they have the best products. The iPhone is just one more of those products that will break through and people like this guy and Rob Underware just can’t stand it!
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Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert, Robert…
The word “cult” starts the word “culture”, so we’re actually more like iCult(ur)ists. Refer to the millions of iPod users, the iMac, menus at the top of the screen, and the ever-so-popular mouse.
And the symbolic apple logo.
You hear us a little but don’t care to listen, so you must be a normal PC user. It’s natural for people to be ignorant, but when that reaches the “stubborn” level (you listen to us but won’t move at all), you’re a fanboy.
@ the MacDailyNews Take
… Don’t hate ignorant lemmings like Shrimsley who viciously and blindly lash out at things and people that threaten the comfort of their limited world view; pity them. …
Lemmings are gullible, but Shrimsley is just ignorant. Yes, we should still pity him, but the ignorant/lemming/stubborn/fanboy stuff is pretty tough to understand.
@ the MacDailyNews Note
Fellow cultists, the annual cult of Apple indoctrination will be held at Apple and AT&T company-owned retail stores tomorrow, June 29, at 6pm local time. Don’t miss your chance at enlightenment! Following the event, we’ll all hop into the vans and go door to door selling iTunes Gift Cards, watching iPhone ads on our iPhones, and soliciting Windows to Mac switchers. As usual, the Kool-aid reception is planned for midnight – all are welcome. Do not forget your robes!
(Uhh,) I’ll be (um, er,) busy tomorrow night. Sorry, guys!
MW: she – and girls, too
Awwww, someone needs an iHug.
It’s true that you can often see me in public showing off my macBook becasue 90% of the work I do is on it and I like to get out of the house once in a while (unlike the average PC user) but that “crowd” he refers to is the inevitable series of people who on thier own free will and volition approach me to talk about my mac.
So I guess if Shrillsleys definition of sinister evangelicalism is “appearing in public and talking”, then I am one of these iCultists.
But to be honest, it sounds more like sour grapes and jealousy on his part. Maybe that’s just the smugness kicking in.
Were the early, pioneering Mac users known as Cultus Erectus?
Dear FactChecker
Thanks for proving my point. I wasn’t even referring to the relative merits of Apple vs. Windows. You have no idea what I think of Apple products but clearly I am not permitted to “Think Differently” in your “Limited World View.”
G-Man in B’ham:
“No Kool-aid for me. I’m strictly a sweet tea drinker, but I’m all aboard for the rest.”
Not so fast there G-Man! Kool-Aid offers several tea flavors:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kool-Aid#Flavors
That is one of the very most disgusting things I have ever read.
If you feel as insulted by this article as I did, you can write the Financial Times at:
letters.editor@ft.com
With all due respect to the good people at MDN, posting here is not enough. It is up to us to hold drive-by hacks like that schmendrick Shrimsley (now there’s a name for you) accountable for their ill conceived drivel.
I only ask that you be polite, articulate and slightly condescending. A patronizing tone of indigence would do nicely. Let’s have at this sniveling twit.
wall street guy,
that’s childish and narrow-minded.
When I read Enderle and the likes I don’t think for a moment that they’re typically ‘American’.
There are fools-a-plenty in every land.
Grow up!
So this is what, a veiled attempt to be clever and humor the FT audience? I don’t think he said anything of value nor made a single comment on Apple’s innovation or improvements of processess; in fact, I missed where he pointed out how all of the other companies have fallen short in their offerings. Does anyone recall where in his column he compared the facts (and reviews) of a 1st generation offering to current 7th generation offerings. What a Putz.
“but of late they have adopted a sinister, evangelical tone.”
Mac users had evangelical tone from day one (Apple did call their marketting people envangelists). Difference is there are more and more people listening to them. Or if you flip a coin, more and more people are waking up to the truth and going through de-programming from brain wash done by MS, who inherited the IT cult members from IBM.
Here’s another way to voice your opinion to the FT:
http://specials.ft.com/cgi-bin/Specials/Common/nph-SubmitForm.cgi?Form=ContactUs
In the words of Geoff Klein: “Wot?”
wall street guy,
and your post, dear boy, should have read:
‘seen most CLEARLY through the press’.
Haven’t you ever heard about adverbs?
Relax people – can’t you recognize British satire….
I wrote the following letter of the editors of the FT:
Today, FT published an article by Robert Shrimsley, “Cometh the iPhone, cometh the iCult” (http://www.ft.com/cms/s/b5b400f6-2514-11dc-bf47-000b5df10621.html) that was as shrill, insulting and patronizing a piece of hack journalism as I have read in quite some time. It is one thing for FT to provide insight and analysis, and quite something else to insult its readers, as Mr. Shrimsely has accomplished with his hateful, biased article. I use a Windows PC as well as a Mac, and yes, I own an iPod. I choose to buy Apple products because of their design creativity and flair, quality and innovation. And for this, I am less than human, in the eyes of Mr. Shrimsley, who apparently has judged me to be a lemming of a cult.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
Apple has been rewarded by the marketplace for doing an outstanding job, plain and simple. Steve Jobs and British subject Jonathan Ive have shown a remarkable understanding of what consumers want, and the passionate devotion that people of all walks of life have for Apple products is the result of Apple giving us what we as consumers seek. But to Mr. Shrimsley, the success of Apple is something to be hated and derided, not applauded. His hit piece smacks of the insecurity that Mr. Shrimsley has, and his utter contempt for successful businesses. Lesser men often react this way to genius.
I am disappointed that the editors of FT let this article run as-is. Mr. Shrimsley’s article was not only insulting and prejudicial to your readers, but reflects poorly on the quality of your publication. I hope that in the future, you will thoroughly review the tone and intent of Mr. Shrimsley’s work, and let him vent his spleen in a more appropriate manner.
“typical british envy….” nice bit of generalisation there
“seen most clear through the press” so from this I am to assume that every nation can be judged clearly by the comments made by journalists. Ok, what does that say about your country mr wall street guy (whichever it may be) ?
Well said, Ed Anger.
Wall Street Guy — don’t be so down on the Brits!
Many of have been Macusers for a looong time — in my case, since 1986 with an SE/30.
And it still going strong, though kept in in the DJ Vault of Tech, and fired up from time to time, along with a Powerbook 145b, some other Mac oldies, and even a black ‘n’ beautiful Vectrex game console.
Do the British talk funny or did we English speakers of North America just fusk up their language over time?
Dumbass Maczealots would buy even a turd with the Apple logo. LOL and now they feel as “insulted” by the truth. Pull your heads out of Jobs’s ass, inbred Mactards.
…”A patronizing tone of indigence…”
..thank you Clue-by-four …that’s about the funniest thing I’ve ever read.
Ed Anger, Jobs’ little bitch whines about facing the truth.
IN
BED
WITH
………MICROSOFT
Hey, asshole… yes you, wall street guy!
typical british envy…. once a great empire, now just pathetic wannabees
When you know what you’re talking about, then you can make a comment, but you’re idiotic line [above] shows you for the ignorant prick you obviously are.
Who do you think designed ALL the major components of Apple’s revival since Jobs came back? Oh yeah, that’s right a Brit! Jonathan Ive is English you jingoistic wanker. And without his brilliant work Apple would still be languishing.
Get back to the playground and shut up. Prick.
Thank you Reality Check, for your coming out with your true nature.
You really are the jerk of jerks aren’t you?
I don’t normally get angry but your snide and malicious remarks are something else.
All this coming from a publication printed on pink paper.
“Do the British talk funny or did we English speakers of North America just fusk up their language over time?”
A little of both?
With tens of millions of “members,” this so-called iCult must be the most successful cult in history. Apple should pass out Cool Aid to all its brainwashed members waiting in line.
Once again, this is a case of IS THIS THE BEST YOU CAN DO? Now that product itself has been found to be as amazing as the hype indicated, the paid FUDsters are resorting to making pathetic comments. This is what they are (and have been) saying:
* It’s a great product for consumers, but businesses should not use them because, well, because they shouldn’t. We’re IT analysts and we’re telling you so. Oh, never mind…
* Battery life. Oh, never mind…
* Scratches on the plastic face. Oh, never mind…
* High service plan rates. Oh, never mind…
* Virtual keyboard. We realize that most of you are upgrading from phones with only a numeric keypad, and probably don’t care about comparisons to Chicket button keyboards… but you should care. We’re Tech Industry analysts (who haven’t even tried the iPhone) and we’re telling you so. Oh, never mind…
* (and finally resorting to) You don’t want to be associated with a “cult,” do you? If you buy an iPhone, you’re in a Apple cult. So don’t buy one, OK? Oh, never mind…
These types of articles only serve to fuel the hype even more, because they are so ridiculous. Apple thanks you…
“It’s easy to spot iCultists. They can be seen in crowds showing off the features of their iPod or bleating on about the user-friendly, ‘almost intuitive’ features on their laptop. ‘Once you’ve tried Mac, there’s no going back,’ they say,” Shrimsley writes.
What a bunch of bullshit. The iPod has broadened Apple’s base so much, I don’t understand how the users of their products are still cast in such a stereotypical manner.
Even way back when, that shit never applied but it should be more obvious than ever right now.
Ok MDN, I’ll see you there! BTW “Black Polo Neck”? its a turtleneck you tool!
As the author of the offending article I’m truly flattered to have generated such interest. Just for the record – I actually use a Mac myself. I however, have not let my ownership of one prevent me from being able to enjoy a joke. Then again, a casual reader of some of these high-brow posts and (you’ve got some real Dorothy Parkers out there), be glad might begin to wonder whether I had a point.
Keep the faith