Astrologer reads Steve Jobs’ and Steve Ballmer’s stars for 2007

For some reason (is the news that slow today?) Forbes has “chosen 10 of [their] favorite celebrity business moguls from the Forbes list of The World’s Billionaires and asked a professional astrologer to give us the lowdown,” Elisabeth Eaves reports for Forbes. One of Forbes “favorite celebrity business moguls” is none other than Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is also subject to this highly scientific article.

Eaves reports, “We turned to Michael Lutin as our guide to the heavens. As well as giving private readings, Lutin is the author of SunShines: The Astrology of Being Happy; he’s also opined about the future of America. We asked him to pronounce on heavyweights whose lives affect our own in one way or another–if not via our stock portfolios, then through the inventions and innovations we use everyday, or through philanthropic donations so vast they are bound to set agendas.”

Steve Jobs, Chief executive of Apple Computer: Birthday: Feb. 24, 1955, Sign: Pisces
Jobs is starting off 2007 in the spotlight (again): There are questions about his stock options, and he has a high-profile product rollout scheduled for next week. But Lutin says he’s up for the challenge. “As your progressed sun nears Mars in Aries over the next two years, you’re more fired up than ever to keep the wolves at bay,” he says, arguing that the fact that Jobs dropped out of Reed College won’t hold him back. “A person doesn’t need a fancy education to be a leader of the pack. All it takes is a great idea, gritty determination never to be a follower, plus a healthy dose of resentment for authority figures.”

Steven Ballmer, Chief executive of Microsoft: Birthday: March 24, 1956, Sign: Aries
Microsoft’s gung-ho leader has “that macho Aries thing” going on, says Lutin–but so much more. “You were born with a Jupiter Pluto conjunction, which usually signifies not only grandiosity but success to match,” Lutin says. Yet he suggests that Ballmer’s famous energy may be flagging: “Something seems to be happening,” says Lutin. “You’re seeing Chiron’s return in your solar 11th house. Looks like you’re beginning to think, ‘Can’t I have a life, too?'”

MacDailyNews Note: Mr. Lutin, that wasn’t “life.” As usual, Ballmer’s thinking, “Can’t I have another doughnut?” The circular shape probably threw you.

Full article with eight more “favorite celebrity business moguls” ranging from Bezos to Speilberg here.

MacDailyNews Note: We didn’t realize it until now, but Apple released Mac OS X on Ballmer’s birthday back in 2001. We can just imagine Jobs: “Here’s what you’ll be copying for the next 20 years, Balmy. Happy Birthday!”

43 Comments

  1. {sarcasm}

    Finally, a report by an analyst that based his report on concrete information and reasoning. Much better than the usual run of the mill analysts.

    {/sarcasm} ” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />

  2. @koolaid: Why? Well maybe because you’re not in charge. Why is that? Maybe because you don’t know what you’re talking about. My magic 8-ball told me.

    Seriously… the cosmic insights here are truly stunning. If we can take away anything from this story, it’s one simple statement to Steve Ballmer:

    Get a life.

    -c

    MW: ‘known’ (to buy snake oil by the case)

  3. Hey Ballmer, Pluto is in Jobs’ 2nd house (Disney)… and Zune is in Uranus!

    And if this year turns out to be as rotten for you as we expect, just remember: The fault, dear Ballmer, lies not in our stars but in ourselves.

Reader Feedback

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.