“On Tuesday, Philip Schiller walked onto a Paris stage at the Apple Expo 2004 to announce new products. Apple’s senior vice president for worldwide product marketing was replacing the recuperating Steve Jobs. He mentioned that the founder and chief executive would be back in September, and that ‘September cannot come soon enough.’ If he checked a calendar he’d find that, in fact, September came the next day. The company seems to have lost track of time, and it showed with the G5 iMac… the machine comes in one old-fashioned color: 1988 platinum white. The design is hardly inspirational. In fact, if you put two headlamps on it and a metal sun visor over its ‘windshield,’ it would be reminiscent of a 1954 DeSoto,” John C. Dvorak scribbles for CBS MarketWatch.
“The architecture is risky. First of all, they jammed the entire computer into the screen, making the idea of changing ‘monitors’ or screens impractical… What’s worse, the engineering required that all of the USB, audio, Ethernet and modem connectors (10 of them, not including the power line) are awkwardly and inconveniently placed on the back of the bulky monitor-computer. With all these wires running off the back of this top-heavy machine, there’s a good possibility that one will get tripped over. I suspect the iMac will go flying. This lash-up just does not look stable,” Dvorak opines. “Even if I’m wrong, I’d still like to know what happened to all those fancy colors Apple was promoting.”
“The fancy colors are now relegated to the iPod, which now seems to be Apple’s primary focus. Schiller spent a lot of time bragging about Apple’s 59 percent market share in the MP3 player market. Is this something to be proud of? Where does this market head? Almost anything with a small amount of memory can be turned into an MP3 player nowadays; you just need a headphone jack,” Dvorak fumes.
It goes on and on and on here.
MacDailyNews Take: Unfortunately, the original “Big Fat Idiot,” John C. Dvorak, has managed to put crayon to construction paper yet again. The new iMac G5 looks nothing like a 1954 DeSoto, except on John’s home planet, the ever-cloudy and perpetually dark Ignoramus. If you put two headlamps and a metal sun visor on John’s head, you’d have a moron dressed as a car. The idea of changing monitors has always been impractical in an all-in-one computer design going back to even before 1984’s original Macintosh, but John’s just catching up now. If top-heavy Johnny has another doughnut, there’s a good possibility that he’ll be the one tripping over; we can only pray it’s off the side of The Golden Gate Bridge. Next, John wants to know “what happened to all those fancy colors Apple was promoting?” The answer is that Apple hasn’t had a color other than white or metal in its Macintosh line since the iMac G3 was introduced in July 2001. That’s over three years ago, Mr. Dvorak. ’54 DeSoto John sure is current, huh? The iPod has 58% market share according to Schiller, not 59% as John mistakenly scrawled. Still, yes, it’s something to be very proud of and the iPod is Apple’s Trojan Horse that shows the Wintel masses what quality really is and causes them to consider why they don’t have a Mac, too.
Bonus MacDailyNews Trivia: Did you know that John C. Dvorak and his two cohorts, Rob Enderle and Paul Thurrott, avoid being seen together at trade shows due to the inevitable chaos that ensues? It seems that as a trio, the group simply cannot avoid being mistaken for these guys.
Dvorak deserves to be castrated. I remember the massive amount of abuse he got from the mac community when he said apple would go with intel for the G5 mac.
The Idiot
“Almost anything with a small amount of memory can be turned into an MP3 player nowadays; you just need a headphone jack,”
Yes,It’s called Dell DJ
Hey, I take offense a the libelous statements being made about the three stooges. The stooges are cool, D, E, and T are idiots, and the stooges could take them in the ring any day! A little pop goes the weasel, and curly will tear them up!
Dvorak is a hack who has been consistently wrong about computing trends for more than 2 decades. What else is new…?
(But, please lay off the physical appearance attacks, it’s juvenile and just hurts your arguments.)
JD
Somehow, I knew when I clicked on the “these guys” link it would be the Stooges. Dvorak is still bitter from being ousted by TechTV. His hyperbole as a writer is tiresome, but I don’t think it’s fair to lump him with Enderle and Thurrott. Dvorak doesn’t know what the view is like inside Bill Gates’ ass nearly as well as the Two Stooges. He’s like Mikey, he hates everything.
Stooges RULE!!!
Wow. Hilarious.
Ah, Dvorak. Haven’t heard from that shill in a while. He apparently crawled out from under his rock to slam the new iMac.
Looks like in his time out of the spotlight that he hasn’t yet found a clue. The piece smacks of a tirade from someone who’s just plain lost it and is clutching at straws, any straws, for SOMETHING negative to say.
dvorak fears the iMac will topple when a cord gets tripped over? When exactly is the last time someone has tripped over a cord coming off the back of their monitor I wonder?
As for the colors Apple was promoting: Um, when? Does anyone else recall Apple promotion colors as being an option with the new iMac? Neither do I.
Monitors and whatnot ARE hard to change out in all-in-one computers (which isn’t automatically a bad thing). However all-in-ones go back long before the original Mac.
In the olden days, when we had microcomputers (IBM had yet to create “Personal Computers”), there were several. I remember Heath (later Zenith) had an all-in-one Z-80-based machine. There was a machine called the Color Computer (I can’t remember who made them). Was it the first Comodore that was all-in-one with a funky tiny keyboard and even the cassette tape deck built-in? Of course, Radio Shack’s TRS-80 Model II and III were both all-in-ones. And I think they had a “Tandy One” that pre-dated all of them.
The history of the all-in-one is long and varied. Mr. Dvorak just doesn’t get it.
Plus I guess you consider every notebook/laptop computer and all-in-one. They seem to be selling well.
He sounds like Arnold wanting to do politics. Of course this guy tried to talk techie but in truth he lost sense of what he wrote just before starting his nonsense.
As kirk said, the history of the all-in-one is long and varied.
This site is interesting for a brief history of the all-in-one: http://www.blinkenlights.com/pc.shtml
I am very happy about what Dvorak wrote. I’d be more worried if he liked it. That would be the kiss of death.
Funniest MDN response yet.
ps thanks for the Mac Daily Chuckle.
My parents still talk about how they loved the Desoto Adventurer they owned in the late 50s.
I guess Gateway is the Pinto of the industry, Dell is the Pacer and MS’ products are the Pontiac Aztec (good on paper, bad in execution).
Only difference is that Arnold obviously knows what he’s talking about while this idiot Dvorak will never have a clue. He, Turdrott and Enderle are indeed the Three Stooges of ANALysts…
I think the 54 Desoto was a way cool car. To me it always looked like it was inspired to be futuristic. It suggested speed just sitting still. The design suggests something a car should be. A symbol of power, speed and comfort. Some design elements are still mimicked today, Hum….
The New iMac looks like a sleek white box, rather stark. My wife said that it looks like the Computer she always wanted. Something that was so small, simple and elegant that the screen was the computer. Sort of what the Mac 128 wanted to be, but the technology was just not there… The design seems inspired to be futuristic…. It suggests something a computer should be. A simple elegant tool, and not be the center of attention. I wonder if these design elements will still be mimicked in 50 years?
Perhaps the fat old fool was correct. Apple has a classic on their hands!
Thats why I ordered 3 for my office today….
John has apparently stopped taking his medication, but he still has some cogent points amongst his mental ramblings.
I, too, am uninterested in Schiller�s lavish self-promotion of Apple. Good grief, Schiller, show a little class and stop the annoying self-congratulatory backslapping and embarrassingly obsequious pandering. The facts interpret themselves and require no additional editorializing or boring adjectives. I thought that if Schiller used the word �Great� one more time I was gonna mute the presentation until someone else appeared on the video stream.
I don�t really like the pure white simplicity of the iMac either. Honestly, I was expecting an aluminum enclosure. This is just aesthetics and like they say. �Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.�
Maybe the iMac attachment provided by Apple is a bit too flimsy, I don�t know. With more money one could attach a VESA mount. Something Apple has apparently recommended. This is something I would do if I bought the iMac.
Who needs 10,000 songs on an iPod? Not a person like me with a limited budget. I would prefer longer battery life if the iPod would hold 1,000 songs. Besides, if you are days away from an electrical outlet battery life takes on a whole new meaning. Of course, if you are no more than 2 days from 120V AC and you like audio books I suppose a larger hard drive is essential or if you use the iPod as a portable storage device to carry files from place to place extra disc space is a good thing.
Everything else John mentioned in his article seemed irrelevant to life on this planet.
John Dork knows nothing about cars nor computer. All he knows is to write craps for living ( just like me, hee hee), and to kiss Bill’s ass!!!
This jerk and M$ sellout is so screwed up that he thinks people would actually put the new iMac G5 on the floor so they are prone to trip over the wires!!! Ha Ha Ha,that’s so funny! What kind of drug was he on when he wrote this garbage? Feel sorry for this poor soul ’cause he is so out of tough! His time has passed, and we can ignore him from now on. Next!!!
Funny take, that! So does MDN now translate to “Mac Daily Nyuk”?
In the future, please do not bother telling us what Dvorak, Enderle, or Thurott are scribbling about Apple, iPods, or Macs. If we are interested in their blatherings, we can find them on the web, but I doubt that many will bother. They are drones and shills not worth the bits wasted on them. The best thing about their nonsense appearing on the web is that at least they aren’t killing trees.
Thanks,
Jim
Looks like John has been reading (or writing) too much of Enderle and Thurrott’s work.
You know, it began to hit me that these guys can publish stuff like that and immediately get 20,000 extra visitors to their site. Up go the numbers. Then, they (Dvorak, Enderle, Thurrott) all sit around and laugh at the Mac users who hit their site and flame an imaginary email account.
So, all they’re after is extra hits. A little controversy sends the Mac minions running after someone else to conquer, right?
There’s one thing interesting about all these guys; no one ever checks their predictions, opinions, prognostications, and puts them in a database to compare with what really happens.
That’s worth some time and effort.
Jim, I’d rather come to THIS site and find out what the various and sundry “shills” for M$ are saying against Apple and their business than find it out elsewhere, or after it’s too late. There is an old saying to which I don’t know the exact reference, but it’s certainly apropos here – that is, to “keep your friends close and your enemies closer.” That’s especially true when it comes to getting news.
I, for one (and I believe I’m not alone here), appreciate what MDN does for letting us know not just the good being said about Apple’s doings, but the bad and the ugly side, too. After all, what gets more viewers on a news site? All sweetness and light 24/7? Of course not. It’s the blood and guts and gore and the sensational these days that draws. Plus, it’s just lots more fun when something like this comes up to put the knock-down on those who “think” they know everything and have the be-all end-all answers to what’s “really going on”. These folks more often than not have seen their “analysis” revealed on this site to be ignorant or misleading or poorly-informed or just plain stupid when it comes to all things Mac, especially after the folks who frequent this site get ahold of it in the feedback section.
So, Jim, if you just want the positive “news” about Apple, then perhaps you could just visit the Apple website from time to time.
he cant seriously be making fun of the color white ??
1988 white is what we call biege now and its every pc out there. that wasnt real white, i know cuz my friend has an old platinum white mac still
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first post!