“If you carefully follow the rumors for the upcoming Apple smartwatch, you’ll quickly realize flaws that may be part of the product,” John C. Dvorak writes for PC Magazine. “I’ve said before that this Apple product won’t get much further than any other computer watch, smartwatch, or anything else.”
“The people who want to buy it want it to be an actual phone in the watch. This means the device becomes a sort-of iPhone nano, a self-contained mobile phone controlled with a Bluetooth headset of some sort,” Dvorak writes. “But all evidence leads me to believe this device will be an accessory… If it can’t replace the iPhone completely it’s a goner”
“It’s also not enough to be a health monitor. The idea that we want to cover ourselves with sensors to keep track of every bodily function as if we’re robots running diagnostic tests is idiotic,” Dvorak writes. “Sensors are best suited to the hypochondriacs out there worried sick about their lipids. This will soon be replaced by some other fad… So what is really needed as a wearable is a Dick Tracy watch… This is not difficult to do. The only drawback is the overall size of the device. While the radio I/O can easily be fitted into a wristwatch form factor, the problem is the graphical user interface (GUI) and how it works on a diminutive screen. This would require serious redesign of the iPhone GUI to keep the product functional and modern and small. I can even imagine a flip-open design to double the screen real estate.”
Full article – Think Before You Click™ – here.
MacDailyNews Take: If Apple’s releases an iWatch, back up the truck! Dvorak’s premature “kiss of life” has been applied!
Cases in point:
• “Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone… What Apple risks here is its reputation as a hot company that can do no wrong. If it’s smart it will call the iPhone a ‘reference design’ and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else’s marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures… Otherwise I’d advise people to cover their eyes. You are not going to like what you’ll see.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, March 28, 2007• “iPhone which doesn’t look, I mean to me, I’m looking at this thing and I think it’s kind of trending against, you know, what’s really going, what people are really liking on, in these phones nowadays, which are those little keypads. I mean, the Blackjack from Samsung, the Blackberry, obviously, you know kind of pushes this thing, the Palm, all these… And I guess some of these stocks went down on the Apple announcement, thinking that Apple could do no wrong, but I think Apple can do wrong and I think this is it.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, January 13, 2007
• “The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a ‘mouse.’ There is no evidence that people want to use these things.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, February 19, 1984
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Slim Slow Slider” for the heads up.]
Famous last words.
I think he’s not stupid, but rather purposely ignorant. The article PC Magazine wants to publish is that the iWatch will fail. Dvorak meets that need. $100 bucks says this is 180 degrees from his informed opinion.
Regarding his logic, though, he conveniently neglects to tie in the Continuity features that are baked into the next versions of iOS and OSX. The iWatch can be a phone without being a phone. Just like your Yosemite computer will work like a phone without being a phone. Because it talks seamlessly with your phone.
And tracking lipids is a fad? Know anyone who’s died of a heart attack lately? I do. Trust me, I want to know my lipids if the measurement is invisibly happening on a device I have anyway.
So is he an asshat? Yes. Is it humanly possible to be that stupid? No. Therefore asshat must be his day job. By night you can bet he can read the writing on the wall.
I agree with you on everything but the lipids.
In Europe, or Latin Europe, food is a pleasure to be enjoyed. When I lived in England and visited America, it was considered something harmful – that one should not eat a tart or butter because it was unhealthy.
The attitude to health is similar. The Anglo-Saxons are obsessed with measuring their health, blood, lipids etc. You spend your time measuring your lives rather than enjoying them.
we only WISH these were his last words !-)
No, just bollocks.
It must suck to be Dvorak and wrong all the time. He is the bellwether for the opposite of what he says to come true.
Sort of a Nostradumbass.
Perfect!
His “curses” in the past have signaled monumental paradigm shifts in technology.
This what everyone says about every product Apple launches.
There have been spectacularly few leaks of anything substantive about the supposed iWatch. So Dvorak pitches.
Dvorak wails about a supposed iWatch that would just communicate with an iPhone, but that is what BT earpieces are doing right now, thank you very much.
AND, BT earpieces seem to be selling by the tens of millions, because they are useful.
Not really, this is what Dvorak says about every Apple product launch. I have watched Apple for over 20 years and every time Dvorak speaks it is the same old “Apple will fail” diatribe. It has become quite comical.
How does this guy have a job? Saying that something from Apple will fail before he’s seen or used it. Seems pretty short sighted when you look at Apples track record.
Yes, his job is to print outrageous, unsupported crap so he can get hits on his website and sell ads. Please help him become homeless by NOT clicking on his articles. Thank you for your support.
At the bottom of the article it says “Sent from my Blackberry”
FUD turd
Indeed. MDN, I am flagging this article with a Think Before You Post Anything from Dvorak notice. This guy is a long-term tool and Microsoft shill who is just out to make money and enjoys baiting Mac users to make an extra buck. You know that because you did not even bother to append the “iCal’ed” notice. His BS isn’t even worth it.
A rumored Apple product is flawed and doomed. That is classic Dvorak.
How about if Apple actually tells us what the iWatch (or whatever it is) will do, look like, interact with people, etc. before morons like this make proclamations?
Oh yeah, then he doesn’t get clicks.
The way you said that implies that Apple is working with / for John Dvorak; that they are withholding information about the iWatch (or whatever) in order to allow Dvorak to generate clicks/views.
Apple will tell you what the iWatch will do, look like or interact with people when (and only when) they actually make such a device and are ready to sell it to you (but you probably already know this).
There is a reason all these analysts generate page clicks: Apple is giving them all space to generate rumors and comment on them.
I wonder if anyone ever tried launching dellrumors.com, or samsungrumors.com…..? Wouldn’t those be lonely sites…
I may not agree with anything you write, but I’ll defend your right to share such drivel!
He’s not dead yet. Too bad.
Like Dvorak was right about the iPhone. I think not.
John Dvorak is by now well known high-calibre Apple troll. He even admitted so by himself (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOHzHVF-4Mg).
And regrettably, there are hordes of Apple fans feeding this troll relentlessly (albeit unwittingly) by giving him page clicks and page views (which is his bread and butter).
Dvorak may or may not think Apple’s purportedly upcoming iWatch will fail (or succeed). What he writes is meant to do just one thing: rile up Apple fans (and generate page views).
Well this will surely put Apple stock over $100. Anything related to Apple that falls out of Dvorak’s mouth is always 100% wrong.
The iwatch will be a runaway best seller with Dvorak’s blessing.
Yes! This isn’t just any ol’ pundit or analyst. This is DVORAK. Raving success is now pretty much guaranteed.
Dvorak has been beating at it since the ‘mouse’ i.e before many Mac users today were even BORN.
I guess he thinks he’ll keep bashing at it hoping he’ll get one naysay right before he kicks the bucket ….
Yes, but his Cello Concerto in B Minor was nice….
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thanks!
….as was his String Quartet No. 11.
MDN – Thanks for the record👍
Dvork is a certified idiot who has been proved wrong time and again about everything concerning Apple. Why bother listening too him?
Obviously somebody listens, otherwise he wouldn’t have had a career writing opinion columns about Tech for over 30 years. I’m assuming he’s Crazy Like a Fox: his Modus Operandi is to keep publishing contrary opinions, and that’s how he makes his living.
Interesting followup interview with him from Cult of Mac on how he got his prediction of the iPhone’s success so blatantly wrong. If you don’t want to click on the link, he basically says that Apple blacklisted him from getting any insider information about upcoming products, and without ‘sufficient’ access to information, he couldn’t make a good judgment about it.
B.S. when I first heard about the iPhone, I knew this would be a game changer. He deliberately mischaracterizes Apple Tech for a living, otherwise he’d be a Wal-Mart Greeter.
http://www.cultofmac.com/176189/john-c-dvorak-why-i-said-the-iphone-was-going-to-bomb/
“John C. Dvorak” makes his money from the Windows side and so he must keep the fold happy and distracted. He writes that Apple must fail and a company one step away from absolute ruin – with that his chances of losing more PC or IT doofus’ reduced.
seriously, is that old goat still alive?
I met him once at a AMD conference (where I was working) in Vegas, tried to have an intelligent conversation with him… which was impossible because he was an idiot.
You know, Dvorak is right once again, as he was right on the one mouse button prediction.
So says the king of failure.
We don’t even know apple are working on a watch.
Until they release a product it’s all rumour, in which case YOU FAIL YOU MISERABLE OLD GIT.
Looking back at his past statements is hilarious!
Are intelligent people still refer him as “Jabba The Fat”, “Jabba The Putz”, “Jabba The Butz” or just plain old “Gassbag”?
Dvorak is your typical cynical old Pensioner with a closed mind.
He is so irrelevant in technology (not that he ever was even when he was young 80yrs ago) that he has become a bitter and twisted individual.
He’s old and has nothing to look forward to apart from moan about things that don’t even exist yet.
Pretty sad.
Ugh, I have to agree with him.
iWatch=”Turd” of an idea.
What a CLICK WHORE!
Please do not give this ass hat the attention he so desperately is crying for.
iWatch will succeed precisely BECAUSE it will act as an accessory for iPhone (and iPad) users (as well as have some key “stand-along” features).
With iPhones getting larger, it will be eminently convenient to have a minimalist device on your wrist that can provide optimized information from the iPhone. I can easily pull out my “small” iPhone from my front pants pocket, but it won’t be quite so convenient to get your 5.5-inch iPhone from wherever it is carried (that is much less likely to be the front pants pocket). You can already interact with the iPhone using Siri and headset; also having a small touchscreen will be a huge advantage.
I think the design philosophy for iWatch is to NOT have it replicate iPhone functions. So, iWatch does not make phone calls (by itself), because iPhone does that. iWatch does not surf the web or show videos, because if you want to do that kind of visual activity, just pull out the iPhone and use its big screen. iWatch does not need to do voice recognition, because the iPhone can do that, including commands for the iWatch. iWatch does not even need to have audio input and output…
What iWatch should do, by itself, are things the iPhone cannot do (or cannot do conveniently). To be a screen that is easily visible to the user, all the time. To be a “health” sensor. To accompany the user when exercising (try strapping a 5.5-inch iPhone to your arm for a 6-mile run), and then sync that data to the iPhone later.
If even 10% of iPhone and iPad users bought an iWatch, it will be a HUGE success. And I think it will be much higher than 10%.
I would never agree with Dvorak — on principle, if nothing else — but I have yet to see a rumor of any kind that would make me want to buy an iWatch. It will have to be very different from any of the speculation so far (and I’m sure it will be) to pique my interest.
Personally I find “Bloated Gas Bag” kind of difficult to say (My brain tells me to say Boated Glass Bag), can it not just be known as a designation like B.G.B.?? “John C. Dvorak, B.G.B”???
DVORAK: WORTHLESS HIT WHORE.
#inthemorning
Nothing like a negative review of something that hasn’t been released.
I think the guy is crazy, either that or has trouble falling out his day with things to do.
Why rant over something that doesn’t even exist?
He needs to be sectioned in a nut house.
Why does this F***tard still have a job?
Because there’s some sad company’s who actually think he knows what he’s talking about when in fact the guy is a free loader who knows fuck all.
I’m sure PC Magazine loves him, as do all the anti-Apple bozos that actually believe what he writes. That site is filled with Apple haters. If anyone posts an article there that has anything good to say about Apple, it is swarmed by them. They all sound like complete idiot adolescents with absolutely no knowledge. All unsubstantiated rants there. This guy if it’s right in.
This warped idiot shares his name with one of the best composers in history, and an innovative (if ignored) early pioneer of ergonomic machine interaction. I’m more than happy to forget him in deference to the clearly superior others.
How can one person be so wrong about so many things and still have a job? It’s ridiculous, if I was this consistently wrong at my job, I would be sellng oranges by the freeway in short order.
That would be a career upgrade for Dvorak.
Why do you publish this rubbish and waste our time?
“So what is really needed as a wearable is a Dick Tracy watch… This is not difficult to do. The only drawback is the overall size of the device. While the radio I/O can easily be fitted into a wristwatch form factor, the problem is the graphical user interface (GUI) and how it works on a diminutive screen.”
What’s needed to make this possible is a battery with 50 times the capacity of the best battery on the planet. THAT’S the problem. And he doesn’t even mention it.
Dvorak is destined to OOOH not again, the smell the smell of the inhumanity of that smell.
You’ll miss him when he’s gone.
At least he’s reliable!
I miss him already, as much as I possibly can.
This from the moron who said that the iPhone would fail. He’s a dumb ass who doesn’t deserve to be read.
“Kiss of life”
=
Perfection!!
I think Dvorak is right on this one.
He said “if you listen to rumors”
And
“If they use the iPhone user interface”
It will fail. He said Apple must fully rethink the UI design to make it work.
I don’t care much for any of the rumored designs for the UI. Even though some concept hardware is damn sexy.
I suspect Apple has fully redesigned a UI fit for purpose and whatever they release will be pretty cool. Time will tell.
Of course apple isn’t going to use the iPhone user interface!
They’re not that stupid.
Thank GOD he never worked for Apple.
If he had they would have closed down within 6 months.
The guy hasn’t a clue.
John is actually very smart , what all are complaining about is his “stick” so to speak. He is an old crudmugeon that enjoys and profits from people getting upset with him.He has been doing it for 25 years, John is a big admirer of Apple.
However if MDN was smart the would create a Dvorak meter , think opposite if he predicts something bad for Apple then give Apple a plus for that !!!
Every company needs a Steve Ballmer
Dvorak suffers from obsessive compulsive jackassery.
I’m not sure but I think John is paid by Apple.
Douche-orak has been an Apple protagonist for decades and he’s rarely right. I think he does it just to antagonize.
I said protagonist and meant antagonist.
I think Mr. Dvorak has an AMAZING strike rate in predicting Apple Products. HE JUST CONFIRMED WHAT AN AMAZING iTime from APPLE is going to be!
What an asshole, how can someone still give credit to this idiot!