To everyone whose analyst told them to ‘buy on the dip’ after Apple earnings: Get a new analyst

That is all.

Smirk.

Just kidding, here’s some more: “This was not a quarter to underestimate Apple, as evidenced by all the red and pink in the boxes [see full article for spreadsheet] next to our three biggest bears: Credit Suisse’s Kulbinder Garcha (No. 39), ISI’s Brian Marshall (No. 38) and the Braeburn Group’s Sunil Shah (No. 37),” Philip Elmer-DeWitt reports for Fortune.

Check out the best and the worst of the Apple analysts in the full article here.

“Apple destroyed estimates on both lines, crushing EPS and revenue estimates,” Quoth the Raven writes for Seeking Alpha.”The company unleashed the floodgates on one of the most massive shareholder-friendly initiatives in the history of the world, raising their buyback to $90 billion and issuing a 7:1 split. iPhone numbers and iTunes numbers continued to grow hungrily and aggressively.”

“No product, no problem! Apple is still extremely undervalued at its current multiple,” QtR writes. “Bear arguments about a weak product cycle quarter, waiting for the iPhone 6 negatively effecting iPhone sales, and lack of a product have all been annihilated.”

“Calm down, CNBC. The products are coming, I assure you. And when they do come, they’re going to kick your butt,” QtR writes. “Why isn’t the focus on the amount of iPhones Apple was able to move in a quarter where it was heralded that they wouldn’t be able to sell enough because people were waiting about the iPhone 6? Can we stop fantasizing about products for just two short minutes to see that Apple is an absolute juggernaut of a company? With these metrics, I wouldn’t care if Apple was selling hot dogs, it’s an impressive company… Congratulations to Apple longs.”

Much more in the full article – recommended – here.

Related articles:
Apple shares soar after stellar earnings report – April 24, 2014
Apple’s 7-for-1 share split makes joining the Dow more likely – April 23, 2014
MacDailyNews presents live notes from Apple’s Q214 Conference Call – April 23, 2014
Apple announces 7-for-1 stock split; boosts dividend, ups buybacks to $90 billion – April 23, 2014
Apple smashes Street with revenue of $45.65 billion in Q214 – April 23, 2014

27 Comments

    1. Since 1987 I’ve been taking heat for sticking with AAPL. Yesterday was sweeter than most earnings call due to the very FACT that numbers do not lie. In @ $42.00. Had the chance to get in @ $9.00 but my old man talked me out of selling “my core holdings”. Well…. 600×42+a couple years=600x$561.00+patience=4200x$74.00+or-+dividend=A DAM GOOD RETIREMENT!! And to ponder Apple is a 30 year old startup company. Oh but Apple is surely doomed I tell ya! Pff. Good Lord.

  1. I dreamed in one of my many dreams, about an anal yst.
    He was anal eye-zing a Zebra’s anus,
    He couldn’t figure out whether it was black or white
    or if indeed it was a shade of Zebra crap!

    So much for the people who were waiting for a report from him in order to act!!!

    Zzzzzzzzzz, snorrrrrrr, Zleep bloggingzzzzzzz, Snorrrrrr!!!

  2. Either people aren’t waiting for the iPhone 6 – in which case they sold a lot of phones, OR people are waiting for the iPhone 6 and the results are even more amazing in comparison.

    1. Apple has always known a larger iPhone would crush Android and held off as long as they could and still make the big profits instead of “spending” that knowledge too prematurely. Tim & Co. must be quietly cruelly chuckling under their breaths this year knowing what the iPhone 6 released later this year will do to the Android market and Apple’s fortune’s in general. Add on top of that any other new product line and 2014 will be the year Apple really puts the hurt on Shamstung.

      Loving my new 15″ Mac Book Pro!

  3. Note: 7 to 1 split pulls the old $700 peak down to $100. Yes, it is just different numbers pointing to the same thing. However, in the minds of investors you will get, “Yes, AAPL can hit $100. What is the big deal.” And when it hits the ceiling of $100, most stocks run to $120 or more.

    They picked 7 to 1 for a reason. Think different!

    1. I suspect if you are purchasing thinking to depend on the dividends that it may also be reduced by 1/7 unless Apple is serious about paying out 7x the dividends it has last quarter.

  4. A true ‘moment of Zen’ moments after AAPL’s Q214 earnings announcement:
    I watched CNBC’s 8 talking heads listening to Columbia’s Professor Moshe Cohen whine about Apple’s failure to buy Facebook years ago, how they have lost the ability to innovate, how Tim Cook is un-inspirational as a CEO… and right in the middle of his tirade they interrupted him to announce the latest after-hours price of AAPL, up over 7%. The look on his face and the sight of his quivering hands brought me to a state of transcendent bliss!

    1. I’m not a vindictive soul but I’ve got to admit I very much enjoyed watching it too. Who was the other ANALholeist with the red phone in his had on the call who looked like a deer in the headlights listening to the report? Priceless.

  5. Expecting past performance to predict future performance is how investors get blindsided. This seems especially true for AAPL. They just broke the pattern of AAPL getting slammed after Apple reports great earnings numbers.

    A couple years ago, it broke a different patten, blindsiding many investors: when it was rising from 600 to 700, instead of continuing the rise up to 1000, it suddenly changed directions, for no particular compelling reason. This is definitely no easy to predict stock!

    Best strategy seems, I think, is to be just buy at a relatively low price, and hold for many years. There’s no point trying to predict what the stock will do in the immediate future – just know that if it’s a good company like Apple, its bound to go up over in the long run, even if it takes years of waiting.

  6. Jay is here wondering what all the celebration is about – Apple sells lots and lots of phones, announces meaningless stock split, and cuts AAPL loss from about 25% before the over-hyped Tim Cook big day to a loss of maybe 20%. Oh, and we may have a tweaked MacBook Air pretty soon. BFD – call me when the company actually does something like rolling out a watch to join the dozens of competitors on store shelves across the world. Amazing “hide the bean” distraction in the darkness of the Tim Cook era.

    1. Jay the celebration is about Apple still being able to sell lots of products even before it announces new ones. The new products you refer to are probably around the corner. But you can’t just wave a magic wand and have them magically appear. It takes a lot of work and recourses to get it all together. Apple will not make crap like Samsung. It’s easy to make stuff the way they do which is mostly copy everyone else and do a bad job of it at that. I think the wait will be worth it.

    2. Yet again, you prove to the world , just what an idiot you are. If you had half a brain, you’d keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool, rather than opening it and proving without any doubt, that you’re more than just a fool. More like an imbecile with a case of personal grandeur. But just like you paymasters over at Samsung, you’re 15 minutes of fame are now over.

      You’ve been spanked and still you’re yapping. The level of your incredible ignorance is astonishing; even for you.

    3. Hahaha.

      JM wants Apple to just poop out a watch already, just like the rest. Those things are selling like hot cakes.

      I am now convinced that JM is a persona created by the folks at MDN to troll its readers and drive comments. I love it.

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