Bill Gates spends entire first day back in office trying to install Windows 8.1

“Bill Gates’ first day at work in the newly created role of technology adviser got off to a rocky start yesterday as the Microsoft founder struggled for hours to install the Windows 8.1 upgrade,” Andy Borowitz writes for The New Yorker.

“After failing to install the upgrade by lunchtime, Mr. Gates summoned the new Microsoft C.E.O. Satya Nadella, who attempted to help him with the installation, but with no success,” Borowitz writes. “While the two men worked behind closed doors, one source described the situation as ‘tense.'”

Borowitz writes, “A Microsoft spokesman said only that Mr. Gates’ first day in his new job had been ‘a learning experience…'”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take:

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end. – Sid Caesar

See: Microsoft CEO Ballmer spends two days unsuccessfully trying to clean Windows PC malware – June 5, 2006

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Microsoft names Satya Nadella as CEO; Ballmer’s and Nadella’s letters to employees – February 4, 2014
Satya Nadella? Seriously, Microsoft? – January 31, 2014

55 Comments

    1. Surely, Microsoft can afford to give Bill Gates a new PC with the update pre-installed by the IT staff. Or have things gotten THAT bad a Microsoft.

      Probably a plan by Satya Nadella to keep Gates out of the “office.”

    1. That is pathetic. Ha!

      Dog food…, eat your own BG.

      And that [waste] time is only a third of the time he will spend “designing” the next generation of “products”. Good start I guess.

      Get a Mac boys!! So you can at lead see what’s good to have on your “pipeline”.

  1. Whether this is comedy or reality – Apple is and has been missing an opportunity to bury MSoft because Apple is following a policy of tweaking its products – both the soft and hard ones – instead of innovating. I know, the new Mac Pro is an exception but what the hell have they been waiting on with the roll out of this thing? If it had been done in a timely manner, Apple would have taken over the corporate and government markets by now and Bill Gates wouldn’t have to figure out how to install the latest OS on PCs because they would have become antiques by now. But, no. Apple has done basically nothing to seize an opportunity that has now been lost. Flame on with your usual defense of the defenseless but we all know this is exactly what has happened in the Tim Cook era.

    1. Wait, you mean the opportunity is lost because Bill Gates is back working at Microsloth 1 day a week? Methinks you give Bill too much credit. Microsloth will not be able to do again what they did in the 90’s. Apple has way too much momentum and it’s a completely different world.
      I realize you’re not looking for intelligent discourse, you’re only looking for an opportunity to bash Tim Cook, but I felt that I had to respond to your idiocy.

      1. Jay is right on.
        Apple *should* be trouncing M$ with a devastating iWork release that makes Office look like Clippy.
        Ok, so this is relatively new ground for them, fine. How about in the creative field? Apple *should* be wiping the floor with Adobe with a kick-butt Aperture X that makes use of the new Mac Pro’s capabilities, adds some expanded brush tools and generally makes the purchase of Photoshop and Lightroom redundant.
        As for W8.1…. Mavericks *should* have been a ground-breaking release. New name new direction. A good time to FTFF and release a Contacts/Calendar/Mail app that finally gets rid of the ridiculous toing and froing I do all day between the three. What better opportunity to give windblows sufferers a compelling reason to switch.?
        With flippin $150b in the bank why the heck not???
        Invite some -real- office people and some -real- creative pros to Cupertino, ask them what they need and get going.!.!
        Micros**t is weak. Time to get the knives out.

    2. Agreed!

      Apple has been standing by watching the door open wide for a new leader in the PC Market. Unfortunately, instead of advancing during this time, Apple has released several messed up programs such as iWork, iMovie, iOS 7 and Compressor. Whatever happened to quality control testing and checking on the needs of the market?

      Quality products lead to higher stock prices.

  2. It said “New Yorker” on the masthead – ah, sure this was not the Onion? If it is true (and from experience I know it can take a good part of a day to install anything related to MS) and it somehow leaked out, he deserves the experience. Maybe he now would like to apologize to all of the people who have had to put up with POS MS software for all these years.

  3. I know exactly what went wrong. They installed the wrong version of Windows 8.0. And then 8.1 wouldn’t show up in the Microsoft App Store. They should have installed the retail version, but instead installed the Volume License version, and of course it doesn’t tell you what’s wrong, just that you have to contact your “Administrator” to install Windows 8.1. Then they said, “What? I am the CEO, I need no stinking administrators!”

    If that wasn’t the problem, then Bills computer was still running Windows XP. They tried installing Windows 8.1. It said he couldn’t keep his apps and settings. Crap…. so they realized they had to install Vista, Then Win 7, then Win 8.0, then Win 8.1 So of course it takes all day.. They won’t be done with this until tomorrow.

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