“It’s no longer enough to have smartphones, smartwatches, smart TVs and smart cars. Now a tech company is bringing artificial intelligence to lingerie,” Brandon Griggs reports for CNN. “Researchers at Microsoft have developed a prototype of a ‘smart bra’ embedded with physiological sensors that seek to monitor a woman’s heart activity to track her emotional moods and combat overeating. The sensors can signal the wearer’s smartphone, which then flash a warning message to help her step away from the fridge and make better diet decisions.”
“The researchers then conducted a study in which four women wore the sensors in their bras for four days to monitor their vital signs. An electrocardiogram (EKG) sensor under the arm measured their heart rate, while an electrodermal activity (EDA) sensor tracked their perspiration,” Griggs reports. “The researchers determined the bra was mostly effective in detecting its wearer’s emotional changes. But the sensors needed to be recharged every three to four hours, which limited how long the bra could be worn. And more research would be needed before a smart brassiere — Microsoft’s Secret, anyone? — ever became a viable product.”
Griggs reports, “A Microsoft spokesperson downplayed the bra’s significance in an e-mail to CNN. ‘While we will continue our research in affective computing, Microsoft has no plans to develop a bra with sensors.'”
Read more in the full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: Not that we didn’t suspect it, but now we know for sure why Microsoft’s R&D budget is 10 times Apple’s.
And, who’s leading Microsoft’s R&D team, anyway, Dr. Evil, Austin Powers, or both?
They did make one for Ballmer. 46C.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Jim-tiv” for the heads up.]
Related articles:
Apple’s 2013 R&D spending up 32 percent vs. last year, 87 percent over 2011 – October 31, 2013
Microsoft and the Infinite Monkey Theorem of R&D spending – February 6, 2013
How Apple gets away with markedly lower R&D spending vs. alleged competitors – January 31, 2012
How Apple disrupted its markets on a shoe-string R&D budget – November 28, 2011
Apple’s R&D advantage: Unmatched bang for the buck – November 22, 2011
Microsoft outspends Apple 9 to 1 in R&D, but what does Microsoft have to show for it? – October 27, 2008
Ballmer T Clown should get a fitting.
You stole my line Took the words right out of my mouth.
I was wondering how long he HAD been wearing one.
they have just the useless tit to try it on….
Not to mention the ‘Biggest Boob!’
You’d put Ballmer in a garment that had sweat sensors?
As with all things, M$ is late to the game.
Victoria’s Secret was there first.
I wonder if their bra line (which includes 6 month free trial of NSA access, then mandatory after that) is going to be called “Surface”?
I heard it had 64 gigs of mammary.
Well done!
You made a common mistake. The unit of measurement for mammary is jugs, not gigs.
lol, good one.
JB = Jigglebytes?
Blue screen of death for boobies everywhere. It’s a sad day.
Dual core processors, obviously.
Eventually they were going to enable printing of the output using CUPS.
Almost sprayed my keyboard with coffee reading that one.
Now if they could make a bra that sounds a siren and your boobs flash alternating colored lights like on a police car when a PeeCee Weenie approaches to ask for a date—now that’s damn useful for a smart girl.
A tit of innovation from the company that thinks brown.
The concept evidently enjoys little support. How’s that for irony?
Hey, for a married guy this bra is a good idea. Heck, if the thing can detect emotional changes in my wife and alert me, I could just stay with the boys at the bar longer.
You know how you can detect emotional changes in your wife? By checking every time she opens her mouth.
You mean you wouldn’t want to be home with the twins?
Microsoft said it has no plans to develop the bra they’re developing. Probably because the most likely users of the tech would be husbands and boyfriends.
However, I was intrigued by the ability of the bra to flash data. Sounds like a great idea.
Steve Stenofsky and his A Cup was the tester until (s)he got fired.
:Checking the calendar:
Nope. Not April 1.
MS really did this. 😛
Brown innovation at it’s best, what will they think of next?
You can’t make this stuff up LOL!!
What is next? A smart jock cup for men!
Some boob must have come up with the idea.
Perhaps Balmer? With his mood swings and hystrionics I wouldn’t be surprised if it was his idea.
Hold on here…they might be on to something. The bra will tell them to “step away from the fridge”…if a guy tells his wife that he better be wearing kevlar…this could save lives 🙂
No, it would cost lives because it would be men buying the bra for women. The death rates a Christmas, Valentine’s Day, and on birthdays would skyrocket.
I think this whole project was destined to go tits up even before it started.
So this is where all that T&A money goes into…oops I mean R&D money.
Everyone at Microsoft should wear this to save them chewing their own legs off.
Blue Screen of Breast 🙂
Microsoft huh?
Bra sizes available are:
C:/Windows/Bra
D:/Windows/Bra
E:/Windows/Bra
Guys watch out for the BSOD – Bra Snap of Death!
The real question is will Microsoft create an iOS app for that?
thank goodness there’s a garment out there to tell me when i have eaten too much… as if i didn’t know already.
It will be made in silicon valley.
“Researchers” staring at a computer screen full of boob biometrics to predict a woman’s emotional state. Priceless. Been doing that for years …
Don’t forget the upcoming Sony Smart Wig.
Also rumored:
– SmartPanties the measure the best time for successful impregnation.
– SmartMustaches that filter out personal allergens from the air.
– SmartDentures that warn the wearer when their teeth are about to fall out.
– SmartTampons that tell women when it’s time for a replacement.
– SmartGoggles that alert the wearer when there’s a cute babe to ogle.
Coming soon: SmartPets and the SmartDouche.
Smart bra that shapes and enhances your breast will sell better than iPad.
You get it wrong again microsoft
So, this is what’s on nerds minds? Shocker! 😉
So, whenever a woman is emotional you can ask to see her bra?
Sometimes I reflect on human expression in a free society and rejoice at the joie de vivre, the spirit of carefree thought. At other times I hold my head in my hands.
Steve jobs left you with the iPad.
Steve Ballmer is leaving you with a bra.
Any questions?