Ballmer bids tearful farewell to Microsoft employees, promises it will ‘deliver the next big thing’

“Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer bid farewell to employees [yesterday] at his final company meeting as CEO,” Tom Warren reports for The Verge.

“At one point during the meeting, Ballmer chose to play the song he used back at his first company meeting in 1983: Michael Jackson’s ‘Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.’ He then proceeded to jump and dance around the stage screaming at the top of his voice ‘the sound of Microsoft!'” Warren reports. “fter the song ended, an emotional Ballmer paused to ‘enjoy this for a minute,’ with tears visibly streaming down his face. ‘You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.'”

MacDailyNews Take: “Soak it in… because, as a result of my comprehensive ineptitude, the pink slips start flying as soon as my ass is safely out the door!”

“The greatest company in the world… for sowing rampant frustration within anyone suffering with their products, for creating backstabbing workplace politicians, and for deeply offending those with even a modicum of good taste.

Warren reports, “According to sources familiar with the meeting, Ballmer told employees ‘we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.'”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Microsoft changed the world once, for the worse, by knocking off Apple’s Mac OS, taking advantage of a poorly-written contract, and then plunging the globe into The Dark Age of Personal Computing. Thanks to yet another Apple Renaissance, it’s finally ending, you big dumb monkey.

 
Do not “change the world again,” Microsoft. Newsflash: You suck. Your company is beleaguered. That’s why your board of somnambulant morons are now searching for someone stupid enough to be your next CEO and why nobody with at least half a brain is buying your crap anymore.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]