“After being labeled as one of Microsoft’s greatest failures having been pulled from sale after only six weeks during its original run, the Kin One and Kin Two are back on sale with Verizon,” Electronista reports. “With the re-release has come a slight name change to the Kin ONEm and Kin TWOm. Microsoft only sold 8,810 units during the initial product run, but hopes to turn the disastrous sales numbers around with more attractive pricing plans.”
Electronista reports, “This time, Verizon is selling the Kin ONEm for $20 on a two-year plan, while the Kin TWOm is being sold for $50 in a buy-one-get-one-free deal; the second phone included for the price is the LG Ally. There is also a $35 activation price. Still included is the Zune Pass option, but downloads are restricted to Wi-Fi and side-loading only. Monthly costs start at $40 for voice and an additional $10 for data.”
Read more in the full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: Masochistsoft.
How many more fsck ups kin you count on?
Hum, I wonder what Microsucks is really up to.
Do they think they can?
I Like Ballmer’s Strategy A Lot!
Sideloading?
Typical M$ over-speak, making up words. Jeeez!
Ther goes Baldy Balmer think’n agin. Kin you even imagine that?
i guess then hand bunch left over and needed to unload them somehow. hope they’re not making more.
This just shows how clueless MS is..relaunching a failure!!
Relaunch the Titanic..
Relaunch the Ford Pinto,
Relaunch BOB too while your at it..
How do these idiots keep their jobs???
Ballmer:”We have strategically re- stratigized our strategy. The synergy of our strategy is stratospheric”.
May the genius Ballmer remain CEO for “as long as it takes”.
Baaaaaahahahaaaahaaa!!!
they must have tons of back stock they need to clear.
Thank you Steve Ballmer. I needed a good laugh today.
ONEm and TWOm? Where did that come from?
Silverhawk: ONEL and TWOL were taken.
With the re-release has come a slight name change to the
Kin ONEm and Kin TWOm.
Is this a joke? Seriously, is this a joke? I’m completely speechless.
Say isn’t that a picture of me on the top of the page? MDN has outdone itself again. But why do I look so constipated? I had two Kins for breakfast. Maybe I need to regurgitate them both out again. There you go, two wonderful ‘genius phones’ passed through my anal cavity.
Never take uncle Fester as a joke. He is richer than you are, more successful than you are and is doing a hell of a job keeping the SS MS away from icebergs without stealing or co-opting other peoples IP.
The fact that he sold a few shares was a reflection of commitment to his household to maintain the lifestyle they have been accustomed to after the turds on M$ board decided to deny him his hard earned bonus.
May he stand behind the helm of the SS MS until he chooses the day he retires!
This is a parody, right?
May Mr. Ballmer remain CEO for as long as it takes.
Fantastic. BLN, just grew his missing one with this news. MS has so much automatic revenue coming in, they can afford to keep doing stupid moves. What a great advantage vs companies who actually have to make money with their products.
I like this strategy. I like it a lot.
It’s about time Apple re-released the Newton
What a nagging insistence on offering messed-up crap. No surprise they have to double the offer for the same price.
ONEm….. Ha!
TWOm – same pronounciation as “Tomb” no doubt.
Quite appropriate, they have resurected this from the dead! Shame Balmer could’t have done this on hallowen with the rest of his ‘Adams Family’ and given us an even bigger laugh
The corporate atmosphere of Redmond and Cupertino are completely influenced by their location and climate conditions.
For instance, Redmond is located in a beautiful scenic area which rains most of the year. It sort of lends one to lead a consistent and leisurely lazy lifestyle that reflects upon their products.
On the other hand Cupertino is located in the desert of California near busy highways, the sun is blocked most of the time by heavy smog and it’s hot. Conditions there tend to motivate one to get their ass in gear to make enough money to hopefully buy their way to someplace more climate and health friendly.
On the East Coast of the U.S. the opposite is true, the North is heavily busy and disgusting and the South is lazy, relaxed and somewhat beautiful.
Strange.
I don’t see what all of the complaining was about or why they pulled this to begin with. About 9,000 units moved in six weeks is exceptional, a HUGE hit! If compared to the HP Slate 500 that is,
Their just trying to ‘off’ their inventory stock pile…
Now I know that man is insane.
The addition of M to the names is a master stroke!
It completely makes those previous names marketable again and creates a whole new identity in the marketplace while building on the tidal wave of joy the original names evoked!
Oh man…I’d really like to be a fly on the wall in the meeting where this decision was made
Program Manager: Steve, we’re thinking of going with M-Phone so people think it’s a different phone.
Steve: No freaking way (throws chair), We spent 10 million on building the Kin name out there and we have all these posters we never used. Here’s our strategy…We call it the Kin One M! and just use a paper sticker on the poster! and the other one we can call the Kin Three M!
Program Manager: Won’t that kind of upset 3M?
Steve: Oh…yeah damn it (throws chair)..ok…keep it at 2M…
3M couldn’t build a decent phone anyway…that reminds me!
(presses button on intercom)…hey Marie can you get 3M on the phone? I need some more reel to reel tape for my home recorder.
Program Manager: OK..are we done here? Can I implement the strategy?
Steve: Not yet…wait until we are done with the third re-org this month. Then the timing will be perfect! We want to get people excited to get a 3M from Santa!
Program Manager: Uh..Steve..we just talked about that.
Steve: Oh shit…(throws chair) oh yeah..ok..whatever..hey is it time for lunch?
Kid ’em One, Kid ’em Too
Microsoft could have produced millions of Kin phones in anticipation of a smash hit. But it didn’t come and it got stuck in apathy and miserable sale. Microsoft was caught holding a huge inventory of Kin phones. So this comeback is a disguise for a fire sale in order to clear up inventories.
A third model will be coming out called the Ect to take advatage of the recent sales of the new game controller.
What does this say about their faith in Windows Phone 7? Ballmer for life!
@ Bunches of Munches
I was going to say that this news was the dumbest thing I’ve read today. Then I read your post!
Oh, and from now on, I’d like to be known as ChrissyONEm.
LAYm
Someone should tell Ballmer a strategy isn’t just throwing crap onto the wall every other month to see if it sticks.
Just clearing the stock…
It’s like McDonald’s McRib – they re-release them every so often hoping to get rid of some more of that back-inventory.
Both very ickky.
The new pricing is what they should have had the first time around. They’ll be able to unload their inventory, but it’s too late to have a success.
Clearly they dumped their inventory on Verizon, and Verizon is going to try to blow it out with the Holiday shopping orgy.
Good luck with that plan…
He is a genius…Get free press, lets see.
NEW Zune butt plug, music while you sodomize.
Windows ME Afterbirth, you hated then …just wait
MS iBill, what you pay for exchange clients.
I also love their new Windows Mobile 7 commercials,
How do they make texting and voice faster so you can get back to
WHAT? Just saying, he is a genius.
Would you buy a car from the man pictured above?
OK, OK, a bit more realistic.
Would you buy a Kin ONEm from the guy above in an AT&T store?
…
Thought so.
MacDailyNews Take: Masochistsoft.
It should be “Sadistsoft” as they’re purposefuly inflicting that torture to users.
I’m Steve Ballmer and Kin ONEm and Kin TWOm is my idea.
Ahhhhh… NOW we know why Ballmer sold his stock!
Anyone ever notice just how lame the product demos for Microsoft are? This only further helps me assume that they have very little confidence in the performance of their products. Just give it a rest M$
Many companies have shown that product failures can be turned into wildly successful ventures by renaming them something confusing to pronounce.
It is to business what the Wookie Defense is to law.
At seeing the name, the consumer is confused, unsure if it is a typo and, if not, why that vowel or consonant was randomly placed in the name. The consumer is then confused as to whether this is exactly the same turd that they did not want to purchase before, or some deluxe turd that has more buttons and features. Finally, the consumer is left to think that since no company is stupid enough to simply remarket a piece of crap under essentially the same name but with a random vowel or consonant appended to it, that this must be an improved version. But it appears to be exactly that same turd with essentially the same name but with a random vowel or consonant appended to it It makes no sense. QED, the Wookie Defense.
mmmmmmmmmmm, cuz you kin never underestimate the value of a name change (and the buy ONEm get TWOm offer)
Relaunching a failure will only make two failures in a row. How dumb can Microsoft be?
@Silverhawk… “ONEm and TWOm? Where did that come from?”
how much you wanna bet it’s done by adding a “m” sticker to every phone left over from the previous launch…
Wait, wait wait . . . so Microsoft can’t even get the date right? It’s April 1, right? Because there’s no other explanation for this, other than recycling costs for those Kins produced but not sold was higher than begging Verizon to take them off of your hands.
BM,
Could you at least have bothered to “Google” some info before making up all this:
“On the other hand Cupertino is located in the desert of California near busy highways, the sun is blocked most of the time by heavy smog and it’s hot. Conditions there tend to motivate one to get their ass in gear to make enough money to hopefully buy their way to someplace more climate and health friendly.”
The only thing remotely true is that Hwy 280 is a block from
Apple HQ.
Don’t write about things you don’t know anything about. It just shows how much you don’t know and casts doubt about anything you write about in the future.
Does BM stand for Bowel Movement?
WOW man. That’s TWO Zune déja vus in two days! I’m must be really tripping. Bad acid man.
Ok, so the Kin sucks but no one cares that Verizon is carrying this? Worry that a phone carrier carries junk and then tries to sell it.
Are these the same exact phones as the first release? They might not have had to make any new ones, and might be getting rid of inventory.
Clearly, they can’t do anything else with them that would add any value. The market revealed that ugly reality. I suspect they’re just trying to shift the expense for hauling these things to the landfill to their gullible customers.
Fairly creative, I think.
@bunch of monkeys
I don’t know wher you live. Under a rock? Cupertino has clear skies and a beautiful climate. Among the best in the world. I will admit it is a bit chilly this morning. At nine thirty only 60, but you can see 50 miles. Come visit us someday, we are nowhere near LA BTW.
May he remain at the helm of Microsoft until the rabble of villagers with torches (shareholders) corner him at the top of a burning windmill!
MS spent one quarter of a BILLION $ to
develop this phone? I presume it can be
written off as a “business expense”?
Should the IRS investigate where the
money went?
“m” stans for moron.
Man oh man…ONEm? TWOm? It has to be real….you just can’t dream this shit up.
Kin who?
surprising that it’s not the Kin SEVENm
It seems Microsoft’s biggest business these days is money laundering.
Microsoft have thousands of people who work for them, yet this is all they got? I think they have cancer…. and its terminal
ONEm and TWOm? Sounds like Fester was just stuffing his face and still chewing when his product manager asked how they’re gonna market the surplus inventory. Or maybe he was reprising his role as The Monster in Frankenstein Junior.
M$ is definitely in bad shape…! That’s for sure, now! 😡
So next week the can launch vista again too!?
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I don’t get their strategy, I don’t get it at all
It could be worse ( or better). They were originally going to call the phones the “A” and “B” phones, so now they would be the “Am” and Bm” phones. Perfect!
So, this phone is the “Next of Kin” and that’s who needs to be notified.
This is astoundingly lame, even for Microsoft.
“…downloads are restricted to Wi-Fi and side-loading only.”
Does anyone here know what side-loading means?
I guess they aren’t satisfied with the size of the crater they made the first time.
Microsoft thinks the Kin Moan and the Kin Tomb can be even bigger failures than that.
@ Davidlow:
Side-loading is an euphemism for rear loading, they had to change it because of the sodomy laws.
@R2:
STFU and take your meds.
Marketing to Balmer :
“Our brain trust has finally determined why Apple’s is so successful. It’s not that their products are better, it’s that all their products have the first letter of their names in lower-case, like the ‘iPod’! We should re-release all our old crap with new names like zUNE and kIN and they’ll sell like hot-cakes!”
Balmer: “No. We don’t copy Apple. We innovate. We’re going to put the lower-case letter on the *end*! I like it a LOT… I mean a LOt ! “
To bad Lawrence Welk’s no longer with us. He’d have name the Kins: ah-ONEa and ah-TWOa
Balmer the bomber bombs OUTm
Maybe they’ll sell another 8000 units this time, and if they “re-launch” another 10 times, they will sell out the rest of the existing inventory.
DUHm
Somebody is getting a o Kin one or two for Christmas.
What a crappy Christmas gift. They can blame Santa Claus aka
Steve Ballmer.
Here a suggestion Microsoft should give a Kin one or two to every shareholder.
“But I wanted to park the Microsoft WindowsphonesevenMobile in there!”
“But Steve, we have.. about 5000 KINs still sitting in storage… What should we do?”
“Boys, tell the Kin team they’re back in business!!”
MS idea is right that the younger generation much prefers to text than to talk or email. However, I’m not sure that there is enough buzz out there to generate a lot of sales or excitement around the product.
The youngsters in our household and their friends certainly aren’t talking about it. But they are talking about iPhones, iPods, MacBook Air’s, and iPads.
I think the reason why they see Apple and Microsoft so differently is because of their respective cultures, not just their products.
And it comes through in their advertising, in their products, in their websites, and in their people.
Seriously Microsoft. Kin ONEm means what? Kin TWOm means what? Are these excrement euphemisms?
Here, I’m giving these away. They’re yours. They’ll make your creepy little chunks of crapware sell like vibrators:
KINky One
and
KINky Two
On the box put pictures of luxuriating girls in teddies and silky slinky negliges. Use deep sexy voiced babes saying seductive lines as the ringtones. Have 3 different Vibrate Modes: Lite, Dark and Extra KINky. The Microsoft KINky phones be the Xmas hit.
And no, I’m not for hire.