Philip Elmer-DeWitt blogs for Fortune, “Let’s hope Steve Ballmer isn’t on Needham’s mailing list, because analyst Charles Wolf’s two-page description of Microsoft’s efforts and its products may be most dismissive ever produced by a Wall Street analyst. He even goes so far as to evoke the old lipstick joke that got Barack Obama in so much trouble with Sarah Palin during the primaries.”
MacDailyNews Take: We hope Ballmer isn’t on Needham’s mailing list, either. Not in order to to spare Monkey Boy’s feelings, but so that he goes full steam ahead with his plans and blows even more of Microsoft’s ill-gotten money on what are blatant DOA failures to everyone but him. May Steve Ballmer remain Microsoft’s CEO for as long as it takes!
Elmer-DeWitt continues, “‘Microsoft has always touted itself as an innovator,’ Wolf begins in a section entitled The Sincerest Form of Flattery. ‘But the company’s true genius has stemmed from its ability to copy the ideas of others.’ And the company it’s most fond of copying, he says, is Apple.”
MacDailyNews Take: Actually, Me-too-soft’s true genius is not exactly in its ability to copy others. Microsoft are rather poor copiers; how else to explain Vista or Zune, which are slipshod copies of the Mac OS X GUI and iPod+iTunes respectively. Microsoft’s genius is convincing those who aren’t really paying much attention that they are “innovators” and that their shiteous copies of Apple products are “the same, but cheaper” and getting them to part with their money (in one case, that is, Windows, and only when preloaded onto cheap PC hardware, not in a retail boxed copy; certainly not Zune, nobody buys Zunes). Regardless, we’re happy to see the essence of the truth is finally going mainstream.
Wolf writes:
Introduced in 1990, Windows was a rip-off of Apple’s Macintosh operating system. Microsoft introduced the Zune MP3 player in 2005, a rip-off of the iPod Classic. However, the Zune, another instance of a failed copy attempt, has never been able to gain more than a few percentage points of market share compared to the iPod’s 70%-plus market share. Meanwhile, Apple has moved on to the iPhone and iPod touch.
Now Microsoft plans to copy the Apple Stores. In our opinion, Microsoft faces major challenges in this regard. It’s easy to copy the floor plan of an Apple Store as well as its fixtures. Leaked slides indicate Microsoft plans to do exactly this…
But Microsoft will not find it easy to hire a staff that’s as passionate about the products its sells as the staffs in the Apple Stores. Indeed, given Microsoft’s reputation, it may be nearly impossible.
To convince customers that there’s more to Microsoft than the mostly lackluster me-too products it now sells represents the major challenge of its stores. The mantra of the campaign, according to leaked documents, is ‘Engage, Educate and Excite.’ Microsoft plans to focus on the ‘user experience.’ But typical Windows users are not interested in this. If they are, they most likely have already switched to a Mac.
MacDailyNews Take: Charlie, we couldn’t have written it better ourselves. It almost feels like we did.
Wolf also writes about Windows Mobile and a bit more about the Zune:
Windows Mobile in it current incarnation is clearly the least user-friendly mobile operating system on the market. How does Microsoft put lipstick on this product? What Microsoft actually needs is a new mobile operating system that can compete with the iPhone OS, Android and BlackBerry. The same type of comments applies to the Zune. It’s a so-what product that’s now two generations behind the iPod.
In our opinion, Microsoft’s venture into retail is conceptually equivalent to an oxymoron.
MacDailyNews Note: BTW, Apparently, Microsoft isn’t changing the name of Windows Mobile to “Windows Phone,” that’s something else or some other name for the same thing or some other convoluted Microsoft naming scheme that nobody inside or outside the company understands.
Read the full article which contains a nice graph of Windows to Mac switchers from Q105 to today here.
MacDailyNews Take: “Windows Vista (codenames: PigLipstick, Win XP SP3). Tries to look like a Mac, but still runs like Windows.” – MacDailyNews Take, January 16, 2006
May Ballmer stay in charge for as long as it takes!
Wow, if articles like this keep coming out in the mainstream press, maybe (MAYBE) your average person will actually start to wake up to what M$ really is…. One can dream at least….
@MDN Take: <sarcasm> Yeah. I can really see Ballmer picking up this analysis and saying, “You know what. Maybe I’m wrong.” Ballmer’s a calm rational guy who listens. He’ll probably take this critique to heart.</sarcasm>
Windows 7 is reported to have a huge memory leak that is not being fixed. When does the WOW start?
What has Ms Piggy got to say about this?
Microsoft are innovators, they invented “clippy”
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People are begining to wake up in record numbers.
The WOW! Oh Crap another Windows Core Dump. Shit it started with the first OS written by Microsoft. You would have thought that they would have improved that by now. OH! OK! you are right they have, they just keep making it easier for core dumps to happen!
BSOD!
MacWorldUK: “tests of the final Windows 7 version (the RTM, or “release to manufacturing”) confirms a massive memory leak that occurs when the chkdsk.exe utility is run. Chkdsk.exe scans the PC’s hard drives looking for errors in the files and file structures. The memory leak — which can cause the PC to stop operating — occurs when chkdsk.exe is run on secondary disks, as opposed to the disk Windows is installed on.
The bug was first reported this morning at several Web sites. Microsoft is due to ship Windows 7 on Oct. 22, and it finalized the Windows RTM in mid-July.
Here’s a good article about the imminent failure of the Apple Stores from 2001, that someone mentioned in the comment section.
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/01_21/b3733059.htm
Enlightening!
It’s funny how nearly every major Apple product introduction since Jobs’ return has been met with incredible negativity and vitriol.
It’s ironic that Microsoft, whose every effort is met with fawning, glowing praise in the press, has sat back and waited to copy every success that Apple has had.
If Microsoft ever crumbled to the ground, I wonder what PC makers would put on their hardware?
I wonder which company would buy the Windows OS?
It’s only a matter of time before MS hires a Steve Jobs impersonator.
The only innovative thing they did was to develop a network system and software suite to blocked everyone else out. Apple truly dropped the ball in the 90’s.
M$ have their monopoly and are still riding on it’s coat tails. Slowly the business is falling apart but we all need to understand that M$ is a big ship and it will take years before it is completely sunk.
Jaygee – I was thinking the same thing. Dealing with one OS makes life easier for IT guys.
I think it is time for a standard doc formats just like we have for HTML, audio etc. It will then be down to the software manufacturers to provide compatibility.
“and that their shiteous copies of Apple products are “the same, but cheaper”
Shiteous & Piss-pooreous.
Interesting comparison there in the article:
To run their stores, Apple hires someone from Target, a discounter that aspires to good taste.
To run their stores, Microsoft hires someone from WalMart, a discounter known for no taste.
PS – see the comments on the article. Did it ever draw out the rabid Me2soft fanbois!
MDN, Chaps,
Be careful about saying too loudly that you want Ballmer in place at Me2soft.
There are people in power who will get the message and then he’ll be given the order of the boot…
Not what we want at all.
@qka
Love the Me2soft reference. I always enjoy using mimeosoft to all of my dwindling number of windows friends.
Et tu, Fortune? These stores haven’t even opened yet and the nattering nabobs of negativism fuel the continued assault on Microsoft. MAC’s astroturfing fangirl cult claims another victim. Pity poor Philip Elmer-DeWitt.
Outlook calendar this: The ‘For Lease’ signs soon to be appearing at a MAC store near you will be coming down so that Microsoft can move right in, just like they did with Windows PC’s on your desk in the ’90’s. I give MAC stores 6 months. When you silly traitors decide to switch back you know where to go. Prepare to be Engaged, Educated and Excited.
Your potential. Our passion.™
“Microsoft are innovators, they invented “clippy” “
Don’t forget about “Bob”
I don’t agree with the assessment that it will be difficult to find retail workers with a passion for Microsoft products. Anyone here who has read discussion forums on digg.com, PC World, C/Net, etc. know that there are many, many dogged Microsoft drones out there who not only love Windows but despise Apple. Microsoft will have an ample supply of worker bees staffing its stores. The question remains, what will they have to sell except repair service?
have you people read the comments spewing from those ignorant windoz masses on this article?
What they believe to be true is Just… well, unbelievable!
Reality- My Mac Pro runs better as far as Open GL under Windows than under OSX. The deference is not marginal. So what this means is that Windows is a better platform for 3D than the Mac. I did not want to see this, but my 4870 Radion GUP runs twice better under Windows than under OSX. Luxology modo renders 10% faster under Windows than under OSX.
Now Windows will always be Windows, even Windows 7 still is not OSX, but lets not be disingenuous and simply believe that everything is simply peachy with Apple. If Snow Leopard addresses the Open GL issues that has plagued it since it’s inception, they Apple will be in fact offering a totally superior product. But today, Windows is a better solution for 3D work then the Mac OS.
MDN: “Microsoft are rather poor copiers”
uhm… it’s either “Microsoft is a rather poor copier” or “the people at Microsoft are rather poor copiers.” Companies are not referred to as a plural noun, as like the word “data” (“the data are revealing.”)
Singular collective. Charles Wolf had it correct when he wrote “Microsoft has always touted itself as an innovator” (“itself”, not “themselves”).
It’s also more polite this way. Examine fundamental truths of nature: If we write a fundamental truth like “Microsoft sucks”, then we are referring to the company and not all the people comprising the company.
From Infoworld:
“the old wisdom of “wait for the first service pack” still applies with Windows 7.
This is, after all, a Microsoft product.”
http://infoworld.com/d/windows/critical-windows-7-bug-risks-derailing-product-launch-330
@ aka Christian
“Anyone here who has read discussion forums on digg.com, PC World, C/Net, etc. know that there are many, many dogged Microsoft drones out there who not only love Windows but despise Apple. Microsoft will have an ample supply of worker bees staffing its stores. “
Very true. I just hope MS includes a stick of deodorant with the store uniforms.
twodales
I always enjoy using mimeosoft to all of my dwindling number of windows friends.
Mimeosoft. That’s genius. Not only does it perfectly embody Microsofts business model, but it also references an archaic and superceded piece of hardware.
“nattering nabobs of negativism”
Zuney Me Laddie – so nice to hear from you again as you borrow a line from the …
“Spiro Agnew Phrasebook for Aspiring Politicians and Wannabe Comedy Writers”
Available after Show in the MDN Lobby for low, low price of only $19.95 + shipping and handling
All brought to you by MDN Hotel, Resort and Casino – Home of All You Can Eat Buffet and Tattoo Parlor
Make Your Reservations Early and Often – And Bring Your Friends
BC
Yeah, Bob! BTW, BG’s wife, Melinda, was the manager of the “Bob” development team. It was a waste of time, just like most, if not all, of M$ products.
And the fan boys really are defensive in the comments section in the Fortune article. In spite of the negative comments, you can tell that some of them, if not most, have never used a Mac or been in an Apple store.
I just got a call from the pigs. They don’t appreciate the insults.
I don’t believe the Microsoft retail stores are about selling product. I think their intended function is to serve as part of a massive propaganda campaign to attempt to demonstrate to the public that Microsoft products don’t suck. That Microsoft is at a point in its existence where it believes that a sterile, controlled environment is needed to control the message and push its OS and a few ancillary products onto a public that is increasingly indifferent to them says a lot about the mediocrity of the stuff they are selling. I mean, if the products had any inherent merit, their appeal would be readily apparent in the user experience and consumer goodwill would be the primary selling force, backed by minimal advertising. Since that isn’t the case, it’s more money spent on PR, advertising and spin to compensate for a lack of substantive functionality and innovation.
Yea, yea …
Always fun to drop Zuney in the Dunk Tank, but that’s not much of a challenge, if ya know what I mean
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So let’s get semi-serious for a little bit, ok ? (but not for too long, if ya know what I mean)
Been lot of iPhone “talk” this week got my curiosity, so watched that 2007 MacWorld Intro Video again to refresh memory about 5 year predictions, etc
And yes, will be least that long, or longer, before anyone else even gets in The Game, much less catches up.
But, a few special things jumped out to show how Apple, Steve and The Gang will always byatch slap Microsoft, or probably anyone else in Our Digital Age.
Just the way Steve broke the ice about iPhone – 3 new things – iPod, Phone, Internet something device (huh?)
Yea, always liked that last one, the audience not sure how to applaud or for what. Then the rotating graphic “Do you get it?” Well, betcha even Ballmer gets it now. But he’s probably using that other graphic Steve showed a minute later, “And here it is” (if ya know what I mean)
So here we are with this Great New Thing, in middle of Demo, and Steve talking with Phil and Jony. Then as Steve gets ready to finish that first ever public call on iPhone he asks, almost in passing, “So Jony, what do you think?”
“Not too shabby”
What? Not too f’king shabby? Greatest thing since sliced bread!! Are you chitting us ?
No, he’s not. Ives knows we’ve got “it”. So no need to hype. Relax, it’s ok, will get better, but for now ?
“Not too shabby”
Then later, showing Google Maps, Steve goes looking for a Starbucks and makes that other famous call.
“4,000 lattes to go”
WTF?
CEO of a Multi-Billion Dollar Company about to Change The World™ and he’s making a prank phone call ?
Well, yea, is how he and Woz got started way back when. If it ain’t broke, no need … etc
As we get ready for the Next Great Thing from Apple – The iThing, or whatever it is, always remember those little glimpses that show the DNA of Apple. Yes, a lot of Steve, but Ives, Shiller – they all have it, and having fun with it.
And we can all have it too, and that joyous fun, when we know Apple, Mac, and Think Different™ are a never ending process more than just some slogan, more than just computers or phones or things or whatever – and we refuse to settle for the lame beleagueredness from the Microsofts of the World with their pigs and lipstick.
Oh yea …
Wonder if that clerk in Starbucks that day ever found out what the call was about, and who made it ?
BC
I wonder why everyone forgot that excel is a ripoff of Visicalc, was on apple 2 long ago (dan bricklin and …I don’t remember)
For my Microsoft and me, it is always more important the lipstick than the pig.
Your pig. Our lipstick™
Engage, Educate and Excite? I thought the triple E slogan is Embrace, Extend and Extinguish.
Oinky Oinky Big Boy …
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I propose to use Microsoft as a verb from now on instead of “copy”. Just like Xerox used to be used in the past. I keep doing that at work and say I need to Microsoft those documents. When someone asks I say- you know, copy.
Pigstick on a lip