Apple’s iPhone “sits in the pantheon of great inventions alongside the wheel, fire and Sky+,” Jeremy Clarkson writes amidst a car review (Daihatsu Materia) for The Times. “It’s one of those things that come into your life and you think: ‘How in the name of God did I ever manage without it?'”
Clarkson writes, “Sure, the camera, as has been suggested, can’t take pictures if it’s too dark, too bright or something in between, but everything else is brilliant. You type out texts on a proper qwerty keyboard, and even if you make a mistake it uses witchcraft to correct the error. And then there’s the telephone, which comes with big, special-needs numbers that you can’t miss even if you have fingers like burst sausages. And on top of this, it’s an iPod.”
Clarkson writes, “Problems? Honestly, there aren’t any. I’ve had mine hacked so it works on Vodafone, and I’m sorry, but the battery is fine. It lasts for four days. Though this might have something to do with the fact that I’m a man, and therefore only think to use a phone when I’m on a cliff, clinging to a branch, in a howling gale. And only then as a last resort.”
“This brings me on to an interesting idea. Why doesn’t Apple make a car? The fact of the matter is that the established car makers are timid and afraid of change. They think the mini MPV is a revolution and that the Smart car can be mentioned in the same breath as penicillin. This means they never think outside the box,” Clarkson writes.
“Why, for instance, does a car have a steering wheel? Or pedals? Or a dashboard? No, really. As anyone under the age of 15 will tell you, the handset for a PlayStation can be used to steer, accelerate and brake a car. And there are still spare buttons on the handset that can be used to fire machineguns,” Clarkson writes.
“And, of course, without a steering wheel or a dashboard, there’d be a lot more space in the cabin, and no need for expensive, weighty airbags. And that’s just me, thinking off the top of my head,” Clarkson writes.
Clarkson writes, “I feel fairly sure that if Apple were asked to make a car, it would come up with an automotive iPod, and within weeks we’d view the current alternatives in the same way that we now view the cassette tape, the LP and the 8-track.”
The rest of the article, if you care about a review of the Daihatsu Materia, is here.
When auto reviews become more about iPhone than the car, you know – if you didn’t know already – that Apple’s got a major hit on their hands.
Not to be a spoilsport, but can you imagine the class-action lawsuit if Apple were to create a joystick or wiimote type of steering system? She’d complain that Apple wouldn’t license it to anyone else.
Now for reality, I have a feeling that NHTSA wouldn’t approve a steering system that wasn’t a wheel, and without federal approval, the potential liability could bankrupt any company.
KenC , me old china, stop taking those little red pills !!!
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
Amazing, Funny, Brilliant.
KenC , me old china, stop taking those little red pills !!!
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
Amazing, Funny, Brilliant.
KenC , me old china, stop taking those little red pills !!!
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
Amazing, Funny, Brilliant.
KenC , me old china, stop taking those little red pills !!!
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
Amazing, Funny, Brilliant.
KenC , me old china, stop taking those little red pills !!!
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
Amazing, Funny, Brilliant.
If Apple wants to get into the auto business, they need to develop a “think different”, all-weather means of transportation.
One that doesn’t need 2 tons of material, a 250+hp combustion engine, and 20 gallons of fossil fuel to move a single person around.
And one that people would actually want to own. No Fisher-Price, Tokyo Auto Show concepts here.
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But my vote is for Apple to stay away from the business. Surely even Steve can see the automotive era is on its way out, as traffic gets forever worse & the makers fight for the scraps. Today’s streets aren’t worth fighting for.
Top Gear and Jeremy Clarkson have raised the bar in Automobile shows. Who else would “race their own fuel”, or play tag with a Tank in open country! Truly the best Car show EVER!!
Air bags are only in vehicles because folks won’t wear safety belts. I believe it is documented that if folks used safety belts religiously then Airbags would not only be unnecessary, they would be dangerous!
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
I thought the North Pole was all open water by now (or so the TV tells us).
Besides, didn’t Russia recently claim the Pole as theirs? Hope Clarkson had a passport.
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
I thought the North Pole was all open water by now (or so the TV tells us).
Besides, didn’t Russia recently claim the Pole as theirs? Hope Clarkson had a passport.
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
I thought the North Pole was all open water by now (or so the TV tells us).
Besides, didn’t Russia recently claim the Pole as theirs? Hope Clarkson had a passport.
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
I thought the North Pole was all open water by now (or so the TV tells us).
Besides, didn’t Russia recently claim the Pole as theirs? Hope Clarkson had a passport.
Clarkson DRIVES to North Pole in a Toyota
I thought the North Pole was all open water by now (or so the TV tells us).
Besides, didn’t Russia recently claim the Pole as theirs? Hope Clarkson had a passport.
Air bags are only in vehicles because folks won’t wear safety belts.
Air bags are in vehicles because they’re the distant next-best thing to full racing safety gear. Think people hate seat belts? Imagine a racing harness, HANS, fire suit, helmet, etc.
True story: I have a relative who was recently blinded in a bad side-impact crash. He had his belt on, but was driving an older car without side-impact bags. You can imagine what happened. After seeing what he’s been through, I’ll take any crash protection there is!
I want a nice pair of Indian TaTas…..
Gives “hugging the curves” a new meaning.
Top Gear
The Best car TV show ever bar none.
Makes those sycophantic prats at Motorweek look like, well, sycophantic prats.