Windows HS: Microsoft designs a school system

“Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates has famously called high schools ‘obsolete’ and warned about their effect on U.S. competitiveness. Now, his company has a chance to prove that it can help fix the woes of public education,” Deborah Yao reports for The Associated Press.

“After three years of planning, the Microsoft Corp.-designed ‘School of the Future’ opened its doors Thursday, a gleaming white modern facility looking out of place amid rows of ramshackle homes in a working-class West Philadelphia neighborhood,” Yao reports. “The school is being touted as unlike any in the world, with not only a high-tech building — students have digital lockers and teachers use interactive ‘smart boards’ — but also a learning process modeled on Microsoft’s management techniques.”

MacDailyNews Take: “Learning process modeled on Microsoft’s management techniques.” Hmm, no jokes there. We’d love to go to this high school. You can delay handing in your homework for years. “My dog ate my homework” won’t wash, but “My PC crashed” works everytime. But, maybe it’s a bit too dangerous: chair throwing is an encouraged solution for managing anger. That big fat sweaty bald guy who dances at the pep rallies is kinda embarrassing, too. We heard that the lockers don’t have three digit combination locks; you have to “authenticate” by phoning your homeroom whenever you want them opened. By the way, the school’s lone color is blue. Solid blue.

Yao continues, “‘Philadelphia came to us … and asked us to design a school,’ said Craig Mundie, chief research and strategy officer of Redmond, Wash.-based Microsoft.”

MacDailyNews Take: Those who fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Yao continues, “School district CEO Paul Vallas said he was impressed by more than just the company’s technology. ‘I was also taken by their culture,’ Vallas said. ‘They created a culture within which ideas can be generated and acted upon.'”

MacDailyNews Take: “Generated and acted upon,” yes. The final results are not well-executed, but “generated and acted upon” is something, we guess. It’s better than “generated, but not acted upon” or “not generated at all,” right?

Yao continues, “The high school will use an ‘education competency wheel,’ patterned after a set of desirable traits Microsoft encourages among its employees.”

MacDailyNews Take: These traits include: general malaise, looking busy while doing nothing, taking complex ideas and adding complexity, dyslexic copying, the ability to ignore the total lack of business ethics in return for a regular paycheck, and, of course, loving free towels.

Yao continues, “This new approach to education has sparked the interest of Doug Lynch, vice dean of the Graduate School of Education at the University of Pennsylvania. ‘Two things are quite intriguing _ the willingness of the district and Microsoft to try something different,’ Lynch said. He cautioned, however, that while trying new methods may be valuable ‘we have to be careful because you’re messing with kids’ lives.'”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Philly parents who love their kids: you might want to consider moving to Detroit. Seriously, all joking aside, we hope the kids — “nearly all black and mainly low-income” as described by Yao — end up getting a great education despite Microsoft’s involvement.

Related articles:
CNNMoney’s back-to-school guide: Get a Mac – September 02, 2006
The Seattle Times: Apple Macbook is best computer for school – August 26, 2006
Enderle: Microsoft employees voice concerns about working for dysfunctional company – March 29, 2006
Apple Mac is #1 in European education market, pushes Dell down into second place – February 03, 2006
Apple teams with Detroit Public Schools to provide students with Macs, iPods, digitial cameras, more – September 27, 2005
Pennsylvania school district’s PCs infected with virus; their Macs unaffected – October 01, 2003
Montana school district’s Windows computers offline due to worm; Macintosh computers unaffected – September 03, 2003
More schools experience Windows virus, worm problems while Macs just keep working – August 22, 2003
A tale of two school systems: Windows schools crippled while Mac schools unaffected – August 21, 2003

58 Comments

  1. Here in Philadelphia, the public school system is so lousy and so broke that charity is welcome from anyone, even Microsoft. Even I will put aside my anti-MS bias when they’re trying to help.

    Still, I’m a product of the Philadelphia school system, and I done gots a real good edjamakshun. ” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />

  2. I think if Apple opened a school, it would bring a whole new meaning to the word learning by applying their “Think Different” ethos.

    Sure, there would be shiny new computers to use, once the thought train had been engaged, but I suspect Apple would be more interested in introducing the likes of kinesthetic learning techniques to ensure the “learning experience” was geared to the needs of the individual.

    “You’re not doing well enough in class, because you don’t have enough shiny, flash kit” does seem like an ill thought out, very Microsoft like response to me….

  3. A monkey playing the accordion is the new mascot.
    — Ampar

    Look again. It’s Ballmer playing a French accordion, with buttons on each side.

    Hands on hearts, students:

    I pledge allegiance to Micro$oft
    of the United Gates of Vespucia,
    and to the Company for which it stands:
    one OS under Mr. Bill, indivisible,
    except for Amateur, Advanced Amateur, Home, Advanced Home, Business, Advanced Business, Pro, Advanced Pro and the 200-terabyte edition with all of them,
    With anti-virus racketeering protection for all.

  4. I can just see this now, something a la “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”. When students think or have ideas, giant signs come out of the ground and smash them in the face so that no one ever learns how to think, innovate, be creative, or actually program for humans rather that hyper-intelligent pan-dimensional beings and robots. Monkeys will fling poo, Ballmers will fling chairs and the UAC controls on the girls’ locker rooms will be nightmarish enough that nerds/MCSEs will be almost completely assured of never in a million years having a smidgen of a chance at getting laid. Could be a blessing in disguise. Not sure I’d want them breeding. Seriously, I know a few who have their head shoved so far up their ass, they’d stimulate their own gag reflex. That is to say, they would if they weren’t so used to swallowing Microsoft’s shit.

    MW read. As in, will these students even be able to read?

  5. If I was a student supposed to go there, I would look into getting a Voucher – or talk my parents into home schooling, or at least move out of the District. At least, its High Schoolers, and not screwing up little kids, so they at least have a chance that M$ won’t screw up their whole life, by not letting them learn how to read. and hopefully, they have a library (that won’t crash) so the kids can teach themselves.

  6. Artisticulated: “There be towels for gym class and free Mountain Dew.”

    Are you a pirate? Read that aloud followed by an “ARRGGGHHH ! ! !”

    (j/k)

    ” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”LOL” style=”border:0;” />

  7. Historically, have any poor, minority children been the first to receive fair, let alone extremely benevolent treatment ? Sounds like guinea pigs to me. While they probably will receive better education than normal, I truly hope Microsoft will complement their efforts by also contributing money to the regular poor schools in the area so all the kids have some chance. I always imagined a technology system in America where under-privileged kids could learn technolgy at corporate’s expense in return for a ‘x amount of years’
    employment contract at a reduced rate. Why go overseas when American children could be employed, say 16-21 year olds making $24,000 would be alot to them as opposed to paying foreign adults the same amount. Cheap home-grown IT ! and the savings would help supplement adult American workers, win-win situation ! GO AMERICA !

  8. Classes to include:

    BSOD 101
    How to get your credit rating restored after your PC is compromised
    Phys Ed: Chair throwing
    How to spin adjectives like ‘innovative’ to make them appear as though they describe yourself.
    How to keep your job by recommending inferior technology to your boss

  9. The CEO of the district showed up on the first day of school with a wheel in his pants with a Microsoft logo on it.

    One reporter asked, “Are you aware that there is aMicrosoft wheel in your pants?”

    And the CEO replied, “Aaarrrr. And it’s drivin’ me nuts.”

  10. I agree. This will be a total trainwreck — Microsoft plus educrats plus teacher’s unions. Oh joy. The kids’ lives will be regulated and controlled six ways from Sunday. I have no doubt that they’ll grow up to be the shellshocked sheeple that the education/political institutions want. You know, the kind that do as they’re told, who hate their own country, who scamper about looking for handouts playing games of “who’s got the thinnest skin”? This is a progressive’s dream. People will know all the intricicies of an irrelevant system and be taught how to feel about others, so that everyone will graduate with the right opinions.

    Kids teaching themselves. OK. Why waste money on a school, teachers, or computers then? What bunk.

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