“Microsoft has announced 12 principles by which the company will guide its development of the Windows desktop platform, starting with Windows Vista and beyond,” Darryl K. Taft reports for eWeek.
“At a New America Foundation Policy Luncheon at the National Press Club here, Brad Smith, Microsoft’s senior vice president and general counsel, outlined the principles and discussed lessons Microsoft has learned over the past 10 years based on antitrust battles, regulatory scrutiny and fierce competition in the operating system and software market in general,” Taft reports.
Taft reports, “Smith said the principles largely come from things Microsoft picked up in the consent decree the software giant signed in settling its landmark antitrust battle with the federal government, but that more recent developments led to the crafting of some of the other principles.”
Full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: The real 12 principles for Windows development:
#1. We will charge our pigeons customers annually for protection from Windows itself.
#2. We will periodically release a non-binding “12 principles for Windows development” in an attempt to keep the government off our backs.
#3. We will save on lighting costs during Windows development by having our CEO light the spaghetti coding room via mouth-powered light bulb.
#4. We will strive to maintain Windows’ upside down and backwards paradigm that we established to avoid losing a “look and feel” lawsuit from Apple Computer.
#5. We will no longer threaten to “knife the baby” in back rooms. We’ll just do it preemptively whenever necessary.
#6. We will continue to encourage Web developers to use our proprietary hooks to create websites that only work with Internet Explorer.
#7. We will travel to WWDC annually to see what we can steal learn from Apple for our next version of Windows, codenamed “Rush,” due late 2112.
#8. We will maintain Windows security holes and create new ones in order to fulfill principle #1.
#9. We will continue to negatively impact world productivity by approximately 30%.
#10. We will continue to hire icon and UI designers directly from underfunded elementary schools.
#11. We will compete legally until we fail, then all bets are off.
#12. We will always sell Windows before its time.
[UPDATE: 10:46am EDT: Of course, DakRoland, you are correct. #12 changed in “Take.”]
#13. I will throw a chair at your face if you don’t agree
I heard that the number 12 is special to the illuminati.
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#13 We must make sure that MDN (Microsoft & Dell News) continues to cover our business like no other douchebag has done bafore.
Wow, I went to the site and read the 12 items.
I think they are a real eye opener.
MS will work.
It will work with others.
It will not try to screw others.
It will be easy to work with.
It will. . . . . . . ahh, you get the idea.
Apple. It just works.
N.
I thought #12 would be “We always sell Windows before it’s time (Why else would we have Service Packs and Security Updates galore?!)”
#1 – Make big announcements that all the lap-dogs out there will tout as “the greatest thing in the world that you MUST have”.
#2 – ?????
#3 – Profit!
Boeing777 thought he wanted the truth, but once MDN gave it to him in 12 easy-to-read points, he found he couldn’t handle it.
Well, that was a waste of time. But, that was my goal!
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Wow, yet another twelve-step program for self-improvement. I’m sure it will do just as much good as all the rest….
#1 Apple works so you can experience true productivity and creativity.
#2-12 Enjoy productivity and creativity.
MDN word == “Asked” as in “when asked how close the new windows OS was to completion, Balmer replied “I don’t have time to answer your question. I’m too busy running my antivirus scan and defrag. Plus I have to shine my head with marinara sauce so I can get the light bulb in my mouth to work.”
You forgot:
# Overpromise; Underdeliver
Good of them to do this 5 years into VISTA development.
MW lack, as in vision.
From the article: “….Regarding the ongoing battle Microsoft is having with the European Union, Smith said he hopes these principles can help.”.
In other words, provided we look sincere maybe those dummies at the EU will believe us. If Neelie Kroes fall for that one, she should give up.
Hopefully the EU will hit them hard where it hurts.
#14. We will continue to taunt Happy Fun Ball.
I’m sure MS had these principles years ago, you wouldn’t just ivent them when vista is almost complete!
I agree with Boeing– it seems that whenever there are fewer than 7 or 8 Mac stories per day, they go off on anti-Microsoft tangents. We want Mac!!!
No. 5 is business terms: Microsoft will not retaliate against any computer manufacturer that supports non-Microsoft software, Smith said.
I cannot believe they wrote this. It reminds me of the sharks in finding Nemo.
i …will …not …eat.. fish… Wadda loada crap
Buster:
they said nothing about retaliating against Software Developers i.e. Google, Apple, Novell, Accounting, Symantec, WordPerfect, Lotus, Oracle, OpenDoc, GPL, etc.
It is more what is not said than what is said.
MS, just once, give me something I can believe to be true and think you really mean it.
You just couldn’t make this stuff up could you?
<sarcasm>
1. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Viruses
2. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Infections
3. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Spyware
4. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Trojans
5. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Adware
6. We will ship VISTA at some point.
7. Honest.
8. And it will come with software to protect your PC.
9. Which you will have to pay extra for. Every year.
10. Yes, you are a schmuck, (whoops! did we say that out loud)?
11. Wait, where are you going!
12. Stop looking in the window of that Apple store! no… too late… he’s gone in.
Still, never mind, there’s still plenty of other schmucks out there… look here comes one now….
Mac Realist, how are you! Your PC playing up again is it? never mind. Look here’s this shiny new product called Vista! and it’ll solve all your PC problems.
Yes, I know we said that last time.
And the time before that.
And yes, the time before that, but what’s the alternative, become a Mac user?
Yes, we thought you’d say that. That’ll be $300 please and your eternal soul, oh wait, we’ve already got that. Just sign here for computing hell.
Did I say hell?.. I meant… heaven, or something.
</sarcasm>
Hey!!! Rush is cool. You can’t slander their good name that way!!
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(was funny though)
Microsoft has more money than steve jobs pervert, of course microsoft will figure a way to stop Apple, if they dont, sony and dell might merge and do it themselves.
Noone is going to allow Apple to be the dominant force with their OS. and own hardware. it wont last .
Microsoft = King, why don’t you learn how to construct a sentence? Fourth-graders do sound more believable than third-graders, you know. But just to humor you, Dell would license OS X if they thought it would keep the money rolling in. So much for Dell wanting Apple down for the count.
The reference to one of Rush’s longest albums (2112) was quite humorous.
Although the Micro$oft nut who that goes by the name “Microsoft = King”, was icing on the discussion. If Micro$oft is king and we live in a republic that is money- and power-hungry, maybe we should set up the guillotine and have some old-fashioned regicide.
Long live the Asshole at Apple.
regicide |ˈrejəˌsīd| – noun the action of killing a king. • a person who kills or takes part in killing a king.
DERIVATIVES: regicidal |ˌrejəˈsīdl| adjective
ORIGIN: mid 16th cent.: from Latin rex, reg- ‘king’ + -cide , probably suggested by French régicide.
Would you have any faith in an oath of fidelity from a habitual philander and unapologetic scoundrel?
Ah, a better euphemism for Micro$oft BOB… er I mean Billy G. has not been uttered in a fortnight (possibly longer). maybe the lack of company focus and cohesion is a result of Micro$oft’s focus on other countries and the poor.
Such as why won’t the Japanese love our Xbox360. Or maybe when Stevey B. says “poor me, I am so bald, and I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to people because I lack real social skills”.