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#13. I will throw a chair at your face if you don't agree

I heard that the number 12 is special to the illuminati.

#13 We must make sure that MDN (Microsoft & Dell News) continues to cover our business like no other douchebag has done bafore.

Wow, I went to the site and read the 12 items.

I think they are a real eye opener.

MS will work.
It will work with others.
It will not try to screw others.
It will be easy to work with.
It will. . . . . . . ahh, you get the idea.

Apple. It just works.

N.

I thought #12 would be "We always sell Windows before it's time (Why else would we have Service Packs and Security Updates galore?!)"

#1 - Make big announcements that all the lap-dogs out there will tout as "the greatest thing in the world that you MUST have".

#2 - ?????

#3 - Profit!

Boeing777 thought he wanted the truth, but once MDN gave it to him in 12 easy-to-read points, he found he couldn't handle it.

Well, that was a waste of time. But, that was my goal!

Wow, yet another twelve-step program for self-improvement. I'm sure it will do just as much good as all the rest....

#1 Apple works so you can experience true productivity and creativity.
#2-12 Enjoy productivity and creativity.


MDN word == "Asked" as in "when asked how close the new windows OS was to completion, Balmer replied "I don't have time to answer your question. I'm too busy running my antivirus scan and defrag. Plus I have to shine my head with marinara sauce so I can get the light bulb in my mouth to work."

You forgot:

# Overpromise; Underdeliver

Good of them to do this 5 years into VISTA development.

MW lack, as in vision.

From the article: "....Regarding the ongoing battle Microsoft is having with the European Union, Smith said he hopes these principles can help.".

In other words, provided we look sincere maybe those dummies at the EU will believe us. If Neelie Kroes fall for that one, she should give up.

Hopefully the EU will hit them hard where it hurts.

#14. We will continue to taunt Happy Fun Ball.

I'm sure MS had these principles years ago, you wouldn't just ivent them when vista is almost complete!

I agree with Boeing-- it seems that whenever there are fewer than 7 or 8 Mac stories per day, they go off on anti-Microsoft tangents. We want Mac!!!

No. 5 is business terms: Microsoft will not retaliate against any computer manufacturer that supports non-Microsoft software, Smith said.

I cannot believe they wrote this. It reminds me of the sharks in finding Nemo.

i ...will ...not ...eat.. fish... Wadda loada crap

Buster:

they said nothing about retaliating against Software Developers i.e. Google, Apple, Novell, Accounting, Symantec, WordPerfect, Lotus, Oracle, OpenDoc, GPL, etc.

It is more what is not said than what is said.

MS, just once, give me something I can believe to be true and think you really mean it.

You just couldn't make this stuff up could you?

<sarcasm>
1. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Viruses
2. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Infections
3. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Spyware
4. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Trojans
5. We will try to make Windows less vulnerable to Adware
6. We will ship VISTA at some point.
7. Honest.
8. And it will come with software to protect your PC.
9. Which you will have to pay extra for. Every year.
10. Yes, you are a schmuck, (whoops! did we say that out loud)?
11. Wait, where are you going!
12. Stop looking in the window of that Apple store! no... too late... he's gone in.

Still, never mind, there's still plenty of other schmucks out there... look here comes one now....

Mac Realist, how are you! Your PC playing up again is it? never mind. Look here's this shiny new product called Vista! and it'll solve all your PC problems.

Yes, I know we said that last time.

And the time before that.

And yes, the time before that, but what's the alternative, become a Mac user?

Yes, we thought you'd say that. That'll be $300 please and your eternal soul, oh wait, we've already got that. Just sign here for computing hell.

Did I say hell?.. I meant... heaven, or something.

</sarcasm>

Hey!!! Rush is cool. You can't slander their good name that way!!
(was funny though)

Microsoft has more money than steve jobs pervert, of course microsoft will figure a way to stop Apple, if they dont, sony and dell might merge and do it themselves.

Noone is going to allow Apple to be the dominant force with their OS. and own hardware. it wont last .

Microsoft = King, why don't you learn how to construct a sentence? Fourth-graders do sound more believable than third-graders, you know. But just to humor you, Dell would license OS X if they thought it would keep the money rolling in. So much for Dell wanting Apple down for the count.

The reference to one of Rush's longest albums (2112) was quite humorous.
Although the Micro$oft nut who that goes by the name "Microsoft = King", was icing on the discussion. If Micro$oft is king and we live in a republic that is money- and power-hungry, maybe we should set up the guillotine and have some old-fashioned regicide.
Long live the Asshole at Apple.

regicide |ˈrejəˌsīd| - noun the action of killing a king. • a person who kills or takes part in killing a king.
DERIVATIVES: regicidal |ˌrejəˈsīdl| adjective
ORIGIN: mid 16th cent.: from Latin rex, reg- ‘king’ + -cide , probably suggested by French régicide.

Would you have any faith in an oath of fidelity from a habitual philander and unapologetic scoundrel?

Ah, a better euphemism for Micro$oft BOB... er I mean Billy G. has not been uttered in a fortnight (possibly longer). maybe the lack of company focus and cohesion is a result of Micro$oft's focus on other countries and the poor.
Such as why won't the Japanese love our Xbox360. Or maybe when Stevey B. says "poor me, I am so bald, and I shouldn't be allowed to talk to people because I lack real social skills".

Banal.

>> #10. We will continue to hire icon and UI designers directly from underfunded elementary schools.

Harsh, considering early Windows icons were designed by Susan Kare.

"4. We will strive to maintain Windows' upside down and backwards paradigm that we established to avoid losing a "look and feel" lawsuit from Apple Computer."

This is the one thet proves they are from Satan; it's like the upside-down Cross.

Seriosly though, this just shows how dead microsoft is. They have to release 12 principles for future development just to keep people off their backs about the terrible current development! depressing.

Rush .... 2112....

Brilliant, MDN. Love it!

When did Apple ever have to announce principals for Mac OS development?

If good coding is so far out of your company's DNA that you have to write down a rah-rah mission statement, you'd better get out of software.

MS is a pure reflection of Ballmer: fat, hyper, clueless, and running on borrowed time.

"We are the Priests, of the Temples of Syrinx"


Microsoft, what BS do YOU want to hear today?