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Microsoft Windows’ innate charm
Wednesday, October 25, 2006 - 05:59 PM EDT

By SteveJack

Windows get a bad rap from Mac users because they've seen how much better personal computing can be without Microsoft involved.

However, once in a while, I find myself stuck on Windows somewhere and I find it has its own innate charm.

Like the late John Belushi, Windows is inherently and deeply flawed, but when it works, its heart shows through.

And, just like the watch-it-or-you'll-soon-be-late-too Artie Lange is to Belushi, Windows is an inexact, flawed copy of an original. Windows' charming heart is Apple's old "classic" Mac OS. Let's face it, we all use Macs in some form or another, whether it be the real thing or Windows (or, for that matter, Linux imitating Windows).

Despite Windows' pervasive lack of grace, its bolted-on Task Bar, its inefficient menus stuck to every window, its inherent insecurity, its counterintuitive and randomly unorganized control panels, and its upside-down and backwards look & feel (a failed attempt to avoid a lawsuit from Apple in the early days), when Windows works, I smile (and then I quickly make a clone of the disk for the inevitable wipes and reinstalls). It's like building your own radio from a kit and hearing a broadcast; it's not the best radio, but it works a little like and shares the main building blocks of a real radio, so it makes you happy to hear anything emanate from it.

That Windows has tried so long and so hard to be a Mac, it should be, by now, somewhat endearing to Mac users.

So, go ahead, I dare you: use or watch someone using any version of Windows and, if you look hard enough, you'll see that charming old Mac heart beating in there somewhere.

SteveJack is a long-time Macintosh user, web designer, multimedia producer and a regular contributor to the MacDailyNews Opinion section.

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Oct 25, 06 - 07:07 pm Comment from: MacMaster

I never find that "Charm".

Oct 25, 06 - 07:13 pm Comment from: MacMaster

First Post? There's a first.

Oct 25, 06 - 07:16 pm Comment from: Lexicographer

A triumph in damning with faint praise.

Oct 25, 06 - 07:21 pm Comment from: gow

Sorry, Steve, not giving you this one. I'd take OS 9 any day over XP or any flavor of Windows. I use it everyday and find it a great joy to come home and use my Macs and therefore a computer that just works.

Oct 25, 06 - 07:24 pm Comment from: William Gates

Ouch, that stung!

Oct 25, 06 - 07:29 pm Comment from: Occam’s Razor

I'd rather use OS7 with my balls in a vice than entertain windows 'charm'

Oct 25, 06 - 07:34 pm Comment from: M.X.N.T.4.1

The only thing I like about Windows is that it's easier to use the internet with it than using pen and paper.

Oct 25, 06 - 07:45 pm Comment from: Jared White

I've been playing with Vista RC1 quite a bit lately. It's really an awesome version of Windows (assuming they fix some of the remaining obvious bugs by the final release date or shortly thereafter). I like it way more than XP, which isn't saying much since XP is pretty mediocre and everything before it sucked raw eggs.

However, it's truly scary how much of an OS X ripoff Vista is. Everywhere I turn in Vista, I see OS X-isms. It's almost mind-boggling. In some cases, they took an OS X-ism and just tweaked it slightly. In other cases, THEY DID THE EXACT SAME THING. Un-freakin'-believable.

So no wonder Vista is cool. It's just one big pseudo-Tiger. Somehow I have the feeling it won't be so cool once Leopard comes out and shows off some REAL innovation.

Jared

P. S. Actually, perhaps the only really cool part about Vista is the blurred glass chrome effect. Hmm...and I thought Apple was supposed to be the "superficial eye candy" company.

Oct 25, 06 - 07:54 pm Comment from: Kyle

I agree that there are a few nice things about Windows, but there are many more nice things about OS X that I like better. I wrote up a description of the pluses and minuses of OS X and Windows from my point of view a while ago. Here's a link: http://kylereed.com/opinions/Computers/Computers.html

Oct 25, 06 - 07:58 pm Comment from: Beryllium

"So, go ahead, I dare you: use or watch someone using any version of Windows and, if you look hard enough, you'll see that charming old Mac heart beating in there somewhere."

Windows is about as charming as the crocodile's smile. Get too careless and you will be bitten.

Oct 25, 06 - 08:07 pm Comment from: mac user 47

"Battered computer user syndrome" - so used to having windows beat you half to death that when it works for a minute, you feel unwanted and semi-hysterical positive feelings and hope once again that it will last.

Oct 25, 06 - 08:13 pm Comment from: Jim - the independent voter

Lexicographer has got it right. Steve Jack is using subtle sarcasm and maybe a bit of the english penchant of understatement to rip Windows a new orifice. "Damning with faint praise" is exactly what this article is.

Oct 25, 06 - 08:34 pm Comment from: Johann

What...?

This was just a stupid piece. A waste of webspace, and five minutes of my time.

Who cares? Really?

What makes a Mac rock is OSX. Period. Screw OS9. OS9 was a dog. I couldn't even say it was better than Windows.

Nothing tops OSX.

Oct 25, 06 - 09:33 pm Comment from: Anger Monkey

i found that amusing, maybe because I know exactly what he means or just that Im toasty from a bottle of red wine.

Oct 25, 06 - 10:03 pm Comment from: McBain

Do you know what an anus is?
I cannot find my anus.
Has anyone seen my anus?
That is where I left my copy of Windows 98.

Oct 25, 06 - 11:26 pm Comment from: John

"Windows get a bad rap from Mac users because they've seen how much better personal computing can be without Microsoft involved."

Literally and actually laughed aloud. And I very rarely laugh aloud while reading. Thanks!

Oct 25, 06 - 11:38 pm Comment from: Hamilton International Productions

Wow...and to think with Vista rolling through the pearly PC "Gates" we will all get to order it for our Intel Macs and run great pie chart and bar graph home finance software...yippetydoo! I plan to make MILLIONS from selling this software

Video Production in Las Vegas
http://www.hiproductions.com

Oct 26, 06 - 12:16 am Comment from: Michael Cheung

Pigs Lipstick.

Oct 26, 06 - 12:30 am Comment from: Peter

I'm reminded of the time, years ago, when the Mac development company I worked for got bought out. We were in a meeting with our new CEO which was pretty boring. Sitting on the desk was their DOS product (which we would inevitably end up bringing to Mac) so I started playing around with it.

Pull down menus, dialog boxes, etc. It was really trying hard to look like a Mac application.

My comment? "This is so quaint!"

Windows: "How Quaint!"

Oct 26, 06 - 01:37 am Comment from: dogfriend

Whenever I have to use Win 98 I always think:

"This is kinda like using a f*ucked up Mac"

Oct 26, 06 - 08:33 am Comment from: S&M

"I'd rather use OS7 with my balls in a vice than entertain windows 'charm'

Whatever cranks your motor.

"This is kinda like using a f*ucked up Mac"

I'd have to agree your f*ucked up Mac is about on par with a Windows 98 system.

Oct 26, 06 - 08:35 am Comment from: b ill

I wish Windows would copy Mac OS more often. On my Mac, when I have MANY apps open, I'll point to choose what I want from the heads-up app switcher. On Windows I keep trying to point, but it never works. It must be an instinct thing because I keep trying it. Why must you be so cruel, Windows?

Oct 26, 06 - 08:43 am Comment from: Ryan S

Windows in general has been like a confused and slow person. Vista is like a person who lost their meds and is trying their best to ignore the voices.

Oct 26, 06 - 08:48 am Comment from: Rhomboid

That's like saying your obnoxiously loud and crast Uncle Earl, who usually ends up putting both feet in his mouth at social gatherings, is "charming" in his way.

Oct 26, 06 - 08:48 am Comment from: son of monkey boy

"Like Ballmer, Windows is inherently and deeply flawed, but when it works, its brown squirts through,"

Oct 26, 06 - 08:54 am Comment from: ari

what an idiot!! Comparing the great John Belushi to a stupid operating system that never works. This guy is such a fool. Unbelievable!

Oct 26, 06 - 09:01 am Comment from: ron

Microsoft Windows’ innate charm

Should read--

Microsoft Windows’ inmate charm

Oct 26, 06 - 09:02 am Comment from: BustingTheSkullsOfIdiots

Yeah, this is d*mning with faint praise, alright. Those who can recognize it smile; those who think the article has too few WORDS IN ALL CAPS or doesn't throw profanities like Ballmer throws chairs will be disappointed.

Oct 26, 06 - 09:07 am Comment from: webmasters apprentice

what ever happened to Billy Jack?

Oct 26, 06 - 09:21 am Comment from: Towertone

Honest to God, when I had a PC I spent so much time keeping it running that when I finally got a Mac, I was overwhelmrd with free time.
It reminds me of when I went from my 66 Chevelle with the manifold leak, brake leaks, headlights only, AM radio, clogged carb and rust everywhere to a brand new Subaru.

Oct 26, 06 - 09:26 am Comment from: Buster

Windows has about as much charm as a great big brown zune floating in your toilet.

Oct 26, 06 - 09:33 am Comment from: weighted memory

hahahaha this is funny. I get what he's saying. It's not nearly as shitty as it used to be.

MW: idea

Like, here's an idea... buy a Mac?

Oct 26, 06 - 09:36 am Comment from: Macaday

You can't make a silk purse out of a sow's ear.

...and Windows is a pig ugly sows ear too.

So why will another 100 million people go out and buy this stuff between now and the end of the year - when if the saw the difference there'd be no argument?

What does Apple need to do to make them see what garbage it is?

Oct 26, 06 - 09:50 am Comment from: atabay

Somehow I have the feeling it won't be so cool once Leopard comes out and shows off some REAL innovation.
-Jared

Unfortunately I don't think so, judging from the screen shots I saw the other day its just more of the same. Apples gonna let the OS rot like it did with OS 7, minor tweaks that they want money for. Unfortunately it'll still be more stable than Vista. The good news is that 90% of the world doesn't care, it'll be good enough.

Oct 26, 06 - 09:53 am Comment from: LastOneStanding

Has anyone else clicked on the screensaver ad that randomly comes up on this site?
It's for PC only, way to go MDN! It's just like free money!

Oct 26, 06 - 09:53 am Comment from: Genius

This article is like an IQ test.

Some of you passed and some failed.

Oct 26, 06 - 09:57 am Comment from: Big Al

Macaday,

Every Windows user knows the OS is garbage.

Putting up with Windows is the real 'National Pastime'

Oct 26, 06 - 10:02 am Comment from: Qka

Windows Explorer, especially from Win95/98, is easier to navgate than Finder.

Windows' resizing windows from any side or corner is better than just the lower right corner on a Mac.

That's my total list of Windows advantages.

I think I'll stick with the Mac.

Oct 26, 06 - 10:25 am Comment from: norm e.

OK, Stevejack, I have to give it to you.
On rare occasions, MS gets it right.
Remember the start bar at the bottom of windowe, now apple has it.
Remember having to click and hold on the tool bar to keep it open, now you can click and it stays open by it self.

Yes, Microsoft does occasionally get it right and much as I hate MS word, it does have some charms over Apple works.

But, all that said, I curse Bill Gates 10, . . no 20 times more than I curse Apple. And I don't think I "ohhhhh, I like that, . . " EVER for MS, but I do it for Apple apps and effects. Just got done using iChat video with a friend. Ohhhh, smooth and easy, I like that. grin

N.

Oct 26, 06 - 10:32 am Comment from: Tired of asking

I am senior manager in my IT company and I've been asking to work on a Mac since I joined the company 4 years ago. The answer has been No!, No! and No!.

On Tuesday after the MBP announcement, I finally got tired of not being provided a MAC and have ordered my own. It ships next week and I can't wait. I'm a long-time Mac user and since I was forced to work on Windows, every day I'm still thwarted by the stupidity of the OS.

Now all I'm asking of my boss is to ignore my MPB and the only difference he will experience is the silence of me not hassling him every 6 months to work on a Mac.

cool smirk

Oct 26, 06 - 11:11 am Comment from: Ray Andersen

Yes this article is an EQ and IQ test.

And to answer, yes, throw aside Bill Gates and the other guy who jumps around like a mad monkey. Throw aside all the dirty tactics they got to where they were. Throw aside all those obnoxious self righteous PC Geeks who feel that averge joe shouldn't be able to understand or use a computer. Throw all those human elements aside.

Once you scraped all the above gunk out... ya, I see it in there, the half-brother of the Mac... the one that didn't quite turn out as mom & dad wanted (missing DNA). Then you actually feel sad for it... trying so hard to be perfect like the elder brother. But always hiding the fact so as not to bruise his own fragile ego. The elder brother (Mac) looks on, with understanding eyes, takes pity and with kindness allows the half-wit brother to keep trying to keep up.

It's a sad story really.... Hey loosen up guys. Have a heart... for Windows... not its creators or users. Windows... the poor half-brother of Mac.

Oct 26, 06 - 11:15 am Comment from: macaholic

I'm no fan of MS or Windows, but putting XP on my iMac lets me play "Ship Simulator" so I can relive my previous career as a ship's officer. That's worth something, isn't it. Plus EVE Online looks pretty awesome too. Thinking of trying it out.

MW similar. wow as in windows is simialr to OS anything on a mac

Oct 26, 06 - 11:40 am Comment from: ChissyOne

I used XP for a while. Then I discovered it's more fun and efficient to chisel 1's and 0's into giant stone tablets than it is to use windows. I'm getting pretty good at it.

Today I typed my name.

-c

MW: "ones" (and zeros)

Oct 26, 06 - 04:18 pm Comment from: BC Kelly

Seems the 'heart' of this article is akin to the new TV Ads - I'm a Mac, I'm a PC

We'll catch more flies with honey than vinegar, etc

Is one thing to do what you know to be 'right', and let the ignorant wallow in their suffering. Is another to help those ignorant see the 'better' way and guide them to that path. But the later requires effort, and just be sure that effort is managed properly. (i.e. - 'religous zealots' who shove anything down someone's throat usually don't make many converts)

If we want to 'win over' our lost Windows Neighbors, we'll do better by empathizing with them and finding the little things they believe are valuable in what they're doing. Befriend them via those little things, then give them the opportunity to understand and use 'our way' - the difference should be self-evident at that point. But if we approach that Neighbor as an 'enemy'? ... well

And in case you don't know, or didn't bother to look it up - 'charm' comes from the Latin for 'carmen' meaning 'song/verse/incantation'
(interesting, eh? Kinda puts a whole 'nother spin on this article, don't it? grin

And, for reference: I've been 'involved' with Computers since my Navy Days 30 years ago, Macs since day one, and do have a Windows Machine that only serves the purpose of checking the 'charming compatibility' of web sites done on my Mac - as well as running WinMx 24/7 (wish THAT would get ported over)

Oct 26, 06 - 04:30 pm Comment from: BC Kelly

P.S.

Sorry, my bad, those Navy Days were 35 years ago - wow, where the time go ?

And, during those days, in a Navy Computer Lab, had the fortunate opportunity of 'playing' with one of the original Altairs - a truly 'religious experience'

Oct 28, 06 - 03:24 pm Comment from: Retarded

" The elder brother (Mac) looks on, with understanding eyes, takes pity and with kindness allows the half-wit brother to keep trying to keep up."

Except one of the brothers scores 95% in the standardized "market" test and the other scores 2.8%.

Friends of the 2.8% brother keep claiming that that he's not actually the retarded one because they say 95% of the people in the world can't identify a retarded person even when they talk them every day for years.

Which is the retarded platform I wonder?

Nov 12, 06 - 07:38 pm Comment from: Joe Blow

Gee whiz Retarded, I wonder. Would we be able to tell who is retarded by looking at their name?

Mar 08, 07 - 01:57 am Comment from: babel

so this was supposed to convince me to get a mac? poor fanboys make me laugh, seriously.
just remember that windows sells way more boxes than mac os =) and now you can flame all you want wink

Jun 03, 07 - 07:00 am Comment from: toddcme

set me up with a mac for free and i'll use the hell out of it.but you know that will never happen,or could it?

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