After the still-steaming pile otherwise known as “Argylle,” Apple has another expensive flop on its hands with “The Instigators,” starring Matt Damon and Casey Affleck.
Odie Henderson for The Boston Globe:
It’s sad when a film wastes the talents of so many fine actors. Sad for us, that is, because I’m sure they were all paid handsomely.
“The Instigators” is being called a Boston homecoming for Damon (I guess those Dunkin’ ads don’t count). It’s also a re-teaming of Damon with his “Bourne Identity” director, Doug Liman, whose work has seen far better days. Their reunion brings bad-movie shame to a city formerly known for great heist movies.
★½
Ty Burr for The Washington Post:
Given the talent involved, this may qualify as legally actionable. In addition to the stars, who play Rory (Damon) and Cobby (Affleck), two Bay State meatheads hired to rob an election-night victory party of its graft money, the always-welcome Hong Chau (“The Whale,” “Downsizing”) plays Rory’s psychiatrist, who gets pulled into the aftermath of the botched stickup as a willing hostage.
The respected film and stage actors Michael Stuhlbarg and Alfred Molina play the heist’s mastermind, a foul-mouthed South Boston bakery owner, and his second-in-command. Ron Perlman swaggers and screams as the fictional mayor of Boston, and the ubiquitous character actor Toby Jones plays his accountant. As the mayor’s private enforcer, Ving Rhames essentially does a mash-up of his crime kingpin in “Pulp Fiction” and strongman Luther from the Mission Impossible movies.
Doug Liman (“The Bourne Identity”) directed, and every one of these heavy hitters is helpless when it comes to making the screenplay by Affleck and Chuck MacLean (TV’s “City on a Hill”) feel like more than a doodle on a pitch meeting notepad.
It’s 101 minutes of talented people struggling to make a silk purse out of a sow’s ear and coming up with a Filene’s Basement handbag.
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MacDailyNews Take: How about a movie about an endless parade of big-name stars and directors who repeatedly fleece a multi-trillion dollar tech company that’s incapable of recognizing hackneyed ideas and bad scripts?
Oh wait, we’ve seen that one before; and, at the current rate, we’re likely to see it again and again.
See also: Apple’s ‘Argylle’ flop premieres globally on Apple TV+ on April 12th – April 5, 2024
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After watching “Team America: World Police” I’ve never been able to think of Matt Damon any other way. It was so hilariously perfect.
Argylle was fun. Why the bitching and moaning?
I liked Argyle till about the last third when it went off the rails. Pointless violence, pointless plot.
Best thing you can do with Apple TV+ cancel your subscription. Nothing but horseshit.
Champing at the bit to cancel it all. You nailed it. All garbage, woke horseshit.
I did this a long time ago. They do well because they cater to a specific “audience type”. What type is that? Take a look at who Apple hires, that is their type and I am not.
It’s almost like a tech company doesn’t know what it’s doing in film. Just buy preexisting movies that kick ass. It’s not that hard. I like about 75% of Apple’s scy/fi and the soccer show. Everything else has been horseshit.
They just are not going to offer normal, great, older movies. Can you image Cook offering Gone with the Wind, or Shane? Ha. But, he might offer American Giggolo … HA!
If Apple offered classic movies I’d be interested. I bet it’d cost less to buy the rights to stream an entire catalog of golden-age films than what one of these flops costs. Disgusting.
Argyle was horrible, inane, unwatchable. I could only stomach about 10 min of it.
This is what I hate most about Apple. While other companies were blazing ahead on AI or other lucrative pursuits, Apple was dumping billions into an “entertainment” pit. Have we ever gotten an accounting of how much Apple has spent on original programming vs how much it has made for the company/shareholders?