Dvorak: Apple’s iWatch is destined to fail

“If you carefully follow the rumors for the upcoming Apple smartwatch, you’ll quickly realize flaws that may be part of the product,” John C. Dvorak writes for PC Magazine. “I’ve said before that this Apple product won’t get much further than any other computer watch, smartwatch, or anything else.”

“The people who want to buy it want it to be an actual phone in the watch. This means the device becomes a sort-of iPhone nano, a self-contained mobile phone controlled with a Bluetooth headset of some sort,” Dvorak writes. “But all evidence leads me to believe this device will be an accessory… If it can’t replace the iPhone completely it’s a goner”

“It’s also not enough to be a health monitor. The idea that we want to cover ourselves with sensors to keep track of every bodily function as if we’re robots running diagnostic tests is idiotic,” Dvorak writes. “Sensors are best suited to the hypochondriacs out there worried sick about their lipids. This will soon be replaced by some other fad… So what is really needed as a wearable is a Dick Tracy watch… This is not difficult to do. The only drawback is the overall size of the device. While the radio I/O can easily be fitted into a wristwatch form factor, the problem is the graphical user interface (GUI) and how it works on a diminutive screen. This would require serious redesign of the iPhone GUI to keep the product functional and modern and small. I can even imagine a flip-open design to double the screen real estate.”

Full article – Think Before You Click™here.

MacDailyNews Take: If Apple’s releases an iWatch, back up the truck! Dvorak’s premature “kiss of life” has been applied!

Cases in point:
• “Apple should pull the plug on the iPhone… What Apple risks here is its reputation as a hot company that can do no wrong. If it’s smart it will call the iPhone a ‘reference design’ and pass it to some suckers to build with someone else’s marketing budget. Then it can wash its hands of any marketplace failures… Otherwise I’d advise people to cover their eyes. You are not going to like what you’ll see.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, March 28, 2007

• “iPhone which doesn’t look, I mean to me, I’m looking at this thing and I think it’s kind of trending against, you know, what’s really going, what people are really liking on, in these phones nowadays, which are those little keypads. I mean, the Blackjack from Samsung, the Blackberry, obviously, you know kind of pushes this thing, the Palm, all these… And I guess some of these stocks went down on the Apple announcement, thinking that Apple could do no wrong, but I think Apple can do wrong and I think this is it.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, January 13, 2007

• “The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a ‘mouse.’ There is no evidence that people want to use these things.” – John C. Dvorak, Bloated Gas Bag, February 19, 1984

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Slim Slow Slider” for the heads up.]

74 Comments

  1. I would never agree with Dvorak — on principle, if nothing else — but I have yet to see a rumor of any kind that would make me want to buy an iWatch. It will have to be very different from any of the speculation so far (and I’m sure it will be) to pique my interest.

  2. Personally I find “Bloated Gas Bag” kind of difficult to say (My brain tells me to say Boated Glass Bag), can it not just be known as a designation like B.G.B.?? “John C. Dvorak, B.G.B”???

    1. I think the guy is crazy, either that or has trouble falling out his day with things to do.

      Why rant over something that doesn’t even exist?

      He needs to be sectioned in a nut house.

    1. I’m sure PC Magazine loves him, as do all the anti-Apple bozos that actually believe what he writes. That site is filled with Apple haters. If anyone posts an article there that has anything good to say about Apple, it is swarmed by them. They all sound like complete idiot adolescents with absolutely no knowledge. All unsubstantiated rants there. This guy if it’s right in.

  3. This warped idiot shares his name with one of the best composers in history, and an innovative (if ignored) early pioneer of ergonomic machine interaction. I’m more than happy to forget him in deference to the clearly superior others.

  4. “So what is really needed as a wearable is a Dick Tracy watch… This is not difficult to do. The only drawback is the overall size of the device. While the radio I/O can easily be fitted into a wristwatch form factor, the problem is the graphical user interface (GUI) and how it works on a diminutive screen.”

    What’s needed to make this possible is a battery with 50 times the capacity of the best battery on the planet. THAT’S the problem. And he doesn’t even mention it.

  5. I think Dvorak is right on this one.

    He said “if you listen to rumors”

    And

    “If they use the iPhone user interface”

    It will fail. He said Apple must fully rethink the UI design to make it work.

    I don’t care much for any of the rumored designs for the UI. Even though some concept hardware is damn sexy.

    I suspect Apple has fully redesigned a UI fit for purpose and whatever they release will be pretty cool. Time will tell.

  6. John is actually very smart , what all are complaining about is his “stick” so to speak. He is an old crudmugeon that enjoys and profits from people getting upset with him.He has been doing it for 25 years, John is a big admirer of Apple.
    However if MDN was smart the would create a Dvorak meter , think opposite if he predicts something bad for Apple then give Apple a plus for that !!!

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