Squirmfest: Video of Ballmer’s tearful farewell to Microsoft

“Outgoing Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer has always been a speaker and performer like no other,” Nilay Patel reports for The Verge.

“That energy was on full display earlier this week, as Ballmer led his last Microsoft employee meeting as CEO — he’s announced his plan to step down within 12 months, and the search for a new chief executive is currently underway,” Patel reports. “And while earlier reports hinted at the intensity of Ballmer’s feelings during his speech, The Verge has obtained exclusive video of Ballmer’s final moments on stage.”

Patel reports, “[It is] vintage, perfect Steve Ballmer: intense, emotional, and set to the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. The tech industry will never again have anyone like him.”

Direct link to video here.

MacDailyNews Take: What are the silly, pink slip-bound Microsoft employees applauding Ballmer for, depth of failure?

Steve Jobs steamrolled the guy unmercifully. Then he backed up and did it again. And again. And again. Tim Cook is still doing it.

Hey, Ballmer, you took a frightfully dominant company that could have, should have, absolutely owned mobile personal computing, but instead – even with all of the tools and myriad advantages at your disposal – you totally blew it, buried under and blinded by your own hubris as you were and still are. Great job! Bravo! Standing O!

You couldn’t cut through the delusion in that room with a chainsaw. Watching this video is like watching a SNL parody. It’s amazing that it’s real, which makes it sickening and appalling.

Buh-bye, big dumb monkey. We’re gonna miss ya, ya big lug. You made it sooo damn easy.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Readers “Fred Mertz” and “Ellis D.” for the heads up.]

89 Comments

  1. I tried to watch the vid of monkey-boy but could only up to where he starts blubbering. So embarrassing.

    The thing is, he means it !! I don’t know how he can do all this bullshit over and over. The guy is totally without any clue re his ridiculous behaviour. Imagine what his kids think when they see their buffoon of a father screaming and bouncing around like a demented crack addict.

    I get no satisfaction from seeing any company go down in flames. MS is going the same way as Blackberry. Losing money on dead products, ignoring the present while clinging to a strategy going nowhere.

    Microsoft is not one company and never will be. They autonomous divisons, all headed by a headed by one person who have their own p/l , corporate structure and so on. These divisons have been at war with each other since forever.

    Ballmer tried to restructure MS as a product and services as per Apples style but complexity rules at MS. From the top down MS is drowning in a sea of processes and “big company” bullshit.

    It shows in their products. Everything they make is complexity personified. Nothing can change this. It’s burnt in at the very beginning. Simplicity and focus is very hard to achieve if it’s not embraced from the beginning. Ballmer’s efforts have come to nothing, for example the surface 2, a new iteration of a product barely any different than the last that no one wanted in the first place. WTF !

    I think MS will break up in the next few years along the lines of their current divison structure ie Office Inc, Windows inc etc.

    BB spun down over a few years and then reports HUGE 9 million odd and poof – their sold for its patent portfolio.

    MS has been spinning down for years then then reopts a HUGE 9 million odd loss over Surface. MS won’t go down like BB but as they keep doing what they have always done nothing will stop the slide.

    MS built itself by destroying its competition by either swallowing or bullying them out of existence.

    Khama is a bitch.

  2. It’s hard to believe that guy could hold a job anywhere, much less lead a major company. He’s the poster child for no taste, class, intellect or vision. A big, fat, blubbering Monkeyboy.

  3. So, apparently, he took a page from Palin with the notes on the hand. Very Professional.

    Oh, the tears, dear lord in heaven, those tears (I think I just threw up a little).

    Granted, I like yellow, but doesn’t yellow mean coward.

    I could not get to the song, did not want to ruin whatever song he thought was “appropriate”

    And the applauding, I would applaud too if I did not really have to work too hard for 11 years.

  4. Why are they applauding him and sad because he’s leaving?

    easy:
    they know that its because of Ballmer they had years of high paying cushy bureaucratic (pencil pushing, office politics ) jobs with lots of benefits and time off. The minimal talents who could play the corporate ‘game’ had the time of their lives.

    they know that if Msft was run by a Steve Jobs half of them would have been fired 10 years ago.

    1. I base my above statements from blogs from msft employees over the years:

      one long missive had a manager explain why he decided to apply to msft instead of apple:
      better benefits, job security, a more ‘structured’ management and advancement (i.e promotions, he mentioned in msft Jobs wasn’t going to fire you in the elevator), more independent divisions (i.e more chances of getting into senior management) etc.

      NOT ONE WORD about his desire to ‘PUSH INNOVATION, EXERCISE HIS BRILLIANCE or CHANGE the WORLD’.

      remember as a very young man Jobs enticed Sculley by saying “do you want to sell sugar water or change the world” and Jobs with his vision convinced Cook who said he had a very good job in a very successful company (compaq) to jump ship to a struggling Apple .

      Over the years I simply don’t see Msft espousing vision, neither do their managers. The ‘war ‘ between divisions like Win Mobile (Kin, Win Mo, Pink, Danger, WinPhone) vs Win Desktop (Win 8, new Win Phone) reeks of bureaucratic in fighting — politicians more than visionaries (it was so bad that’s why Ballmer had to do so many re structures… )

  5. Notice how he had to read from the teleprompter. Even the “emotion” was scripted, staged, and then poorly delivered. It was like watching Uncle Fester practicing his lines.

    I have one reaction: control-alt-delete

    Oops, even that was a mistake.

  6. The opinions expressed by MacDailyNews are not necessarily those of the readers and users of this site! I can empathize with MDN’s take on Microsoft and their exiting CEO. But, let’s not be unprofessional about it! The popularity of products from any company is dependent on meeting the wants and needs of users/consumers. Those who succeed in doing so will sell many. Those who don’t will sell fewer. It happens to every company, including Apple, Microsoft, Samsung, etc. “Judge not, lest ye be judged.” I love Apple and their products, but I wouldn’t stoop so low to name-call other companies that are not as successful. Microsoft Corporation made $22 billion in net earnings recently, has $79 billion in net equity, and has 97,000 employees. Apple made $42 billion in net earnings last year, has $118 billion in net equity, and has 80,000 employees. Apple has come a long way since almost going bankrupt.

  7. The ego of this man is unbounded. What better way to contrast Microsoft and Apple than the way it’s two leaders exited? Steve Jobs left with a simple letter to the board, Ballmer lingers with a theatrical cast of adoring fans cheering him on. Mr. Jobs nailed it. Microsoft has no taste. How could it?

        1. And you know exactly where Ballmer got those words: From Apple’s press releases, keynotes, advertisements and public manifesto as created by Steve Jobs decades ago. Collected words, then parroted out of his salesman mouth, looking earnest and emotional and tearful throughout. Scary. As. Hell. Even worse, the people cheering and applauding in response to the scam. This is how propaganda works.

      1. It’s ego which fuels his bombast. In the ‘monkey dance’ video he screams ‘come on, get up, give it up for me!’ and when the audience starts to sit he screams ‘who said sit down!’

  8. Two things:

    1) Doesn’t he throw chairs whether he’s happy, mad, sad, or glad? I so gonna miss that 🙁

    2) I think he’s been watching way too many tv evangelists.

    Thank you and good night.

  9. You can tell that Ballmer is a marketing guy. I’ve never heard a longer, run-on sentence’s worth, of horseshit coming out of the mouth of a CEO in my life. WHAT. AN. ASS. So precious I wanna hurl.
    :-Q******

    What a shame he’s leaving the worst company in the computer community. If only he’d stayed longer….

  10. Too bad Microsoft’s customers haven’t had the time of their life using their products. Instead it took too much time OUT of their lives. Employees are probably cheering so hard because he’s leaving.
    What is he talking about Microsoft being “forward thinking, innovating, ethical” he is in total denial? He wouldn’t be forced out right now if that was the truth.
    Perfect song choice though for a guy with a huge golden parachute. He does owe it all to them. NO other company would have been stupid enough to put that idiot in charge of it and leave him there for so long after so many repeatedly blatant product failures. Wish I could fail that big and make that much money. Must be nice.
    And he cheated us out of one last Monkey Dance damn it!

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