“I don’t remember most of the dreams I have, whether nice or nasty. But, man, did I remember one from last week. I was on this really long and rambling road being chased by millions of Ipods of every size and shape. Though none of their earbuds were plugged in, there were so many of the things I could hear the mother of all mixes, every song, podcast and TV show available on Itunes,” Barry Gerber writes for Mobiltiy Guru. “That’s not all; behind all the Ipods was a bunch of silent zombie-like humans led by Steve Jobs. All of them had tons of folding money falling out of their pockets and eye sockets. I recognized most of these celebs. Everyone was there from Job’s Apple cofounder Steve Wozniak to ex-Disney head Michael Eisner to a passel of entertainers including Britney Spears, rapper Ghostface Killa, Michael from NBC’s ‘The Office’ dragging a zombie birthday cake and Josef Suk, classical violinist.”
“As with most bad dreams, I awoke in a sweat of horror before the final reel. So I don’t know if I got caught or not. It was then that I realized I was not new to Ipod nightmares. It’s only that my previous nightmares were real,” Gerber writes. “So that you don’t get a nosebleed adjusting to the various parts of the Great Ipod Scam, I’m going to start with the least offensive sub-scam and end with the most egregious of all.”
Gerber’s list of “Ipod” scams:
• Scratches And Cases
• FairPlay DRM limitations
• The cutesy lower case “i” in “iPod” and “iTunes”
• Lack of built-in FM radio and user replaceable battery
“Apple has a very good thing going for it with Ipods and Itunes. So far the company has been able to hoodwink its customers with poorly or unfairly designed goods and services all in the name of that little “i”. I don’t expect things will change much, given the profit potential,” Gerber writes. “Some say the music died on February 3, 1959 when singer-songwriters ‘The Big Bopper’ (J.P. Richardson), Ritchie Valens and Buddy Holly were killed in a terrible airplane crash just outside of Mason City, Iowa. I disagree. The music really died the day Apple brought the Ipod and Itunes to market wrapped in a series of sub-scams that not only killed the music, but what was left of the soul of Apple itself.”
Full article, “Who Designed This Crap? The Great Ipod Scam,” here.
MacDailyNews Take: Gerber’s a genius! Now we can see it all so clearly. Thanks so much to Barry Gerber for awakening us from our zombie-like stupor. We’ll never look at a lower case “i” the same way again.
Advertisements:
• Apple’s brand new iPod Hi-Fi speaker system. Home stereo. Reinvented. Available now for $349 with free shipping.
• Apple’s new Mac mini. Intel Core, up to 4 times faster. Starting at just $599. Free shipping.
• MacBook Pro. The first Mac notebook built upon Intel Core Duo with iLife ’06, Front Row and built-in iSight. Starting at $1999. Free shipping.
• iMac. Twice as amazing — Intel Core Duo, iLife ’06, Front Row media experience, Apple Remote, built-in iSight. Starting at $1299. Free shipping.
• iPod Radio Remote. Listen to FM radio on your iPod and control everything with a convenient wired remote. Just $49.
• iPod. 15,000 songs. 25,000 photos. 150 hours of video. The new iPod. 30GB and 60GB models start at just $299. Free shipping.
• Connect iPod to your television set with the iPod AV Cable. Just $19.
