“Barely 10 days old, Stephen Elop’s ‘Hello there’ memo has already become a classic example of how not to fire people. It is a 1,110-word document stiff with ‘appropriate financial envelopes,’ ‘ramp-downs’ and ‘ecosystems’ which, towards the end, casually mentions that thousands of Microsoft jobs are to go,” Lucy Kellaway reports for The Financial Times. “Rather than dish out the bad news directly, the executive vice-president takes refuge behind a curious subjunctive: ‘We plan that this would result in an estimated reduction of 12,500… employees.'”
“Yet to focus on Mr Elop’s tin ear misses something. This memo deserves to become a set text for all executives interested in communication,” Kellaway reports. “It adds value by showcasing the delivery of business piffle that is perfectly aligned with current high-end management guff. It is a case study in how not to write, how not to think, and how not to lead a business.”
MacDailyNews Take: Two cretins smiling idioticallyElop’s failure to write a simple memo is wholly unsurprising. He’s an expert at failure.
We’d love to know what the hell Ballmer and he expected from their grand plan – infiltrating Nokia and the spectacular face-plant that followed. Idiots.
Every once in a awhile, Steve Jobs must have looked around at his so-called competitors and said to himself, “Of course, we’re winning. How could we lose?”
Exactly right. Let’s hope Apple pays attention to history and doesn’t repeat this Idiocracy down the road. Microsoft products are ALL awful, even Microsoft office.
Pretty sure you meant to say “Microsoft products are ALL awful, *especially* Microsoft Office”. That piece of bloatware needs a HARD rework. Its lack of interoperability with competitors and the fact we’ve all used it since grade school makes us think its “ok” but step back and take a look at the mess of a toolbar and dated symbology and you will see what a mess it is. MS is a one trick pony whose one trick is old and tired.
In far anticipation of James Naismith, the ironically named Committee for Public Safety determined that it was gauche to allow heads severed by the guillotine to roll across the executioner’s platform, and so devised the basket to collect heads, royal and otherwise. The basket was later replaced by open netting, which allowed an official to collect the basketball without a ladder. Oh, I get my blood sports so mixed up…
No, that was another, MORE horrible memo which only hinted at the future downsizing.
Both memos prove beyond a doubt that MS is absolutely domed.
The type of sick corporate culture that allows that kind of incompetence to survive and apparently be rewarded is going to go up in flames much sooner than later.
Being that Ballmer is domed, as in bald? Also reminds one of the Microsoftian silos which are domed in the sense of isolation from one another and leading to a doomed business model, one that internally defeats itself
huh?
obviously bot has not
in other words, i got
No, Elop wrote it, ending it with “Regards, Stephen”.
It is a case study in how not to write, how not to think, and how not to lead a business.
AND: Déjà vu much of Nadella’s horrific letter to the press, and oh yeah all you MS employees? We officially have a twosome team of timid tards running Microsoft. Oh joy. 😛 Lots more fun ahead!
What this memo says to me is that Microsoft is dieing.
The company is haemorrhaging cash as it’s products and services fail to attract and sell in the massive numbers needed to sustain such a massive company worldwide.
Expect loads more layoffs later this year, reduction in the number of external consultants they use too.
Microsoft is a classic lesson of what happens when a business fails to innovate. It’s almost like the Sony Walkman story and apples iPod but on a massive scale.
Sony dominated the music market with their Walkman and apple came along with the iPod and it was game over.
Microsoft is too big to respond fast enough to stay relevant, is bloated with corporate politics and is a dinosaur waiting for extinction.
It’s not a case of if the company closes down, it’s a case of when.
I’m never one to flatter MDN and their politics. But they have this one in the back of the net.
Nice one MDN!
Exactly right. Let’s hope Apple pays attention to history and doesn’t repeat this Idiocracy down the road. Microsoft products are ALL awful, even Microsoft office.
Pretty sure you meant to say “Microsoft products are ALL awful, *especially* Microsoft Office”. That piece of bloatware needs a HARD rework. Its lack of interoperability with competitors and the fact we’ve all used it since grade school makes us think its “ok” but step back and take a look at the mess of a toolbar and dated symbology and you will see what a mess it is. MS is a one trick pony whose one trick is old and tired.
In far anticipation of James Naismith, the ironically named Committee for Public Safety determined that it was gauche to allow heads severed by the guillotine to roll across the executioner’s platform, and so devised the basket to collect heads, royal and otherwise. The basket was later replaced by open netting, which allowed an official to collect the basketball without a ladder. Oh, I get my blood sports so mixed up…
Oh, and don’t get me started on Jousting, my dear,
Where’s the politics?
So, did I miss the political slant in this article?
I don’t see any politics here.
Although I think it should have said “Two FAILING cretins smiling idiotically.”
“Of course, we’re winning. How could we lose?”
Priceless.
But that’s what Microsoft execs have been saying to one another, and believing it, for years now.
It’s good to be King, until it’s finally your turn in front of the guillotine.
… While we knit away in our rocking chairs, cheering on each ‘thump’ of beheading. 😈
i don’t want to be king,
the guillotine is always the end result,
even if it is at the hands of historians
give me anonymity
even on the web……
One must never forget the Sword of Damocles.
Paywall’d
If you enter the headline into google-news and follow the link from there, you can (at least for now) read it.
But nothing else.
I refuse to use anything Google
Isn’t this article wrong? Satya Nadella wrote the memo, not Elop.
No, that was another, MORE horrible memo which only hinted at the future downsizing.
Both memos prove beyond a doubt that MS is absolutely domed.
The type of sick corporate culture that allows that kind of incompetence to survive and apparently be rewarded is going to go up in flames much sooner than later.
You just can never trust a company that is “domed” from outside knowledge, information, and criticism
“absolutely domed”…a serendipitous typo in the age of Ballmer.
Being that Ballmer is domed, as in bald? Also reminds one of the Microsoftian silos which are domed in the sense of isolation from one another and leading to a doomed business model, one that internally defeats itself
huh?
obviously bot has not
in other words, i got
No, Elop wrote it, ending it with “Regards, Stephen”.
Thanks, chrish1961.
I too was confused.
Similar critique here:
http://m.us.wsj.com/articles/BL-DGB-36548
It is a case study in how not to write, how not to think, and how not to lead a business.
AND: Déjà vu much of Nadella’s horrific letter to the press, and oh yeah all you MS employees? We officially have a twosome team of timid tards running Microsoft. Oh joy. 😛 Lots more fun ahead!
I wonder how many Executive Vice Presidents will be fired? Not many I imagine, which is probably one of many MS problems.
Zero – you can bet on it.
Try this link to the FT article:
http://www.ft.com/intl/cms/s/0/013511fa-13dd-11e4-8485-00144feabdc0.html#axzz38h17aVpE
FT is fire walled. From the horse’s mouth or perhaps another part of the anatomy: http://www.microsoft.com/en-us/news/press/2014/jul14/07-17announcement2.aspx
Burning platform memo referenced in WSJ article:
http://www.engadget.com/2011/02/08/nokia-ceo-stephen-elop-rallies-troops-in-brutally-honest-burnin/
What this memo says to me is that Microsoft is dieing.
The company is haemorrhaging cash as it’s products and services fail to attract and sell in the massive numbers needed to sustain such a massive company worldwide.
Expect loads more layoffs later this year, reduction in the number of external consultants they use too.
Microsoft is a classic lesson of what happens when a business fails to innovate. It’s almost like the Sony Walkman story and apples iPod but on a massive scale.
Sony dominated the music market with their Walkman and apple came along with the iPod and it was game over.
Microsoft is too big to respond fast enough to stay relevant, is bloated with corporate politics and is a dinosaur waiting for extinction.
It’s not a case of if the company closes down, it’s a case of when.
“Microsoft is a classic lesson of what happens when a business fails to innovate.”
and don’t think it can’t happen to .
What happened to the iPod?
iPod killed the Sony Walkman. That’s what he meant.
Dead company not able to walk nor chew gum.
Reminds me of a little song: http://youtu.be/GyV_UG60dD4
Elop is Pole spelled backwards. Infer what you will…
Elop’s words reminded me of a snotty little nine-year-old who falls the first time trying a skateboard trick “I meant to do that”