Apple promises to fix Maps glitches by rearranging earth’s geography (with video)

“Apple is working hard to move streets, buildings, and natural features of the Earth itself to be consistent with their heavily criticized Maps software,” Nina Shankar reports for The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.

“Company executive say they’ve already stated renaming streets, switching the locations of buildings, and destroying some landmarks altogether to be consistent with the heavily-criticized Apple Maps feature,” Shankar reports. “CEO Tim Cook maintains that Apple’s innovation marches forward, quote, “Apple is committed to providing the best user experience possible… which is why we are working to dismantle the Brooklyn Bridge and put London in Canada.”

Direct link to video here.

MacDailyNews Take: Well, fine, but WTF is taking so long, Apple?!

MacDailyNews Take: Nowadays, especially, perception is everything:

No matter what Apple does, no matter how much better they make Apple Maps, it will now always “suck” in the minds of a large segment of the population… The fool(s) responsible for preparing Maps for release and then releasing it with obvious issues (overblown as they are) and therefore tainting Maps forever should face severe consequences. As in: Pink slip(s)… Apple seems to have learned nothing from the Newton: First impressions mean everything. Apple’s Maps have been Newtonized. All that’s missing is the Doonesbury strip.MacDailyNews Take, September 28, 2012

Thanks to The Onion, we’ve got our “Doonesbury strip” now.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]

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