CEO vows to transform beleaguered RIM into ‘lean, mean, hunting machine’

“Research In Motion Ltd’s new CEO vowed on Tuesday to turn around the embattled company with the new generation of BlackBerry devices coming next year, saying he would transform RIM into a ‘lean, mean, hunting machine,'” Alastair Sharp reports for Reuters.

“But Thorsten Heins, presiding over his first annual meeting since taking the helm, offered little to disgruntled shareholders beyond his faith in the power of the BlackBerry 10 line to reverse RIM’s fortunes. Its battered stock fell another 5 percent after he spoke,” Sharp reports. “‘There was no mention of a sale of the company, no mention of a breakup of the company, and again, our big, big concern is if the BB10s are a dud,’ said Vic Alboini, chief executive of Jaguar Financial and a long-time RIM critic. ‘Where are we then?'”

MacDailyNews Take: Same place RIM’s been since Steve Jobs pulled the original iPhone from his pocket: Dead Company Walking.

Sharp reports, “After a year that wiped out nearly 80 percent of RIM’s value, Heins acknowledged the frustration of shareholders with his decision to delay the launch of the new phones until after the crucial holiday shopping season… Things will probably get worse before they get better. Heins conceded that RIM would likely suffer lower average selling prices and declining service revenue this year as it pushes to sell existing BlackBerry devices.”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Like Balmy, Thorsten’s slipped more than one gear, too. We love when they make over-the-top Palm-eque baseless proclamations! The only machine RIM’s going to be is a bankrupt one if they don’t soon find a sucker to haul away the mess.

And, now (of course we must) without further ado:


  1. “…he would transform RIM into a ‘lean, mean, hunting machine,’”

    Hunting for some sucker to buy their remains maybe. Their profits are lean, and I hear people get can mean when they are starving.

    1. Someone send that Elmer Fudd CEO a hunter’s cap so he can be appropriately attired as he trounces around saying, “Be berry, berry quiet. I’m huntin’ Buyers!”

    1. Yeah. John C. was great at the lovable uncle type of person. He was great in slapstick like Planes, Trains, and Automobiles and Uncle Buck. But I believe that i liked his role in Only the Lonely the best.

  2. What is today, Delusional Day at MSN. First I read Ballmer’s quotes about how everything is wonderful in Redmond and now the RIM guy is talking bullshit.

    Can’t Apple get some competition that at least operates in the same universe as the rest of us.

    1. Well we get to see the saga unfold and watch RIM and Microsoft slowly or maybe not so slowly get unceremoniously dumped and drop-kicked into the dustbin of tech history. Technology these days takes no prisoners or treats those kindly who are late to the party due to the Peter Principle. Steve Ballmer is in in way over his head and Thorsten Heins is drowning in a company wide system FAIL.

  3. i hope they are able to pull it off, but its going to be a hard trick to pull off. they are essentially starting over from scratch up against tech giants at their peak.

  4. While AAPL employees on most level busy working silently to bring us “The next big thing”…MSFT’s Ballmer-the-loser, RIMM’s Mr. Heins. and others busy blowing shit out of their mouths.

  5. I think he should partner with MS, ship a blackberry with winphone 8 and implode the company within a year like Nokia is doing.

    They can be three blind mice walking off a cliff together led by a fat and sweaty man in a clown suit.

    Balmer should be known as Dr Kevorkian of Mobile. Its who you partner with when assisted suicide makes more sense than living.

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