“The iPad is for show-offs. And the iPhone 4 makes it difficult to make a simple telephone call. Apple used to be hip, stylish and ahead of the curve. Now, though, it has become totally uncool — and not just since Steve Jobs stepped down,” Hajo Schumacher writes for Spiegel Online. “The iPad has attained the social cachet once enjoyed by things like color TVs and inline skates. It’s almost like you can hear its owners shouting triumphantly: ‘I’m hip! I’m in front! And I can afford it, too!'”
“It’s the same with pulse-monitoring watches, red wine and handbags: It’s not about functions, uses or taste. No, it’s about showing off. Indeed, the iPad is the must-have, cool-kid item of the 21st century,” Schumacher writes. “The economic victory parade of the iPad and iPhone is accompanied by a dreadful emotional letdown, a bit like with the latte macchiato before it. Something that was pleasingly different, that gave its supporters a certain feeling of hipness, has been sucked dry by its sheer ubiquity. What was once cool has now become the epitome of uncool. If everybody has something, it can no longer set you apart. The most valuable company in the world produces exactly what all the other most valuable companies in the world have produced: soulless junk.”
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“Firms everywhere get sued whenever their products don’t do what they’re supposed to. Apple enjoys legions of militant fans who point out to any Apple critics that they’re just too dumb to use it right,” Schumacher writes. “Apple and its customers are today’s L. Ron Hubbard and Scientology: a community of believers completely detached from reality. The lines that used to form in front of St. Peter’s Cathedral in Rome can now be found outside the Apple Store.”
Schumacher wonders, “And how are you supposed to get an installation CD into an iPad anyway, if it doesn’t have either a drive or a USB port? Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.”
Full article – Think Before You Click™ – here.
MacDailyNews Take: It is intensely satisfying to see that Apple’s tremendous successes have driven certain types of people absolutely batshit insane.
Anyone notice this latest tyrant of “Apple is bad.. bad I tell you” .
I have to wonder what is up here. Another round of Microsoft and Google funding the pundits,,,, or just the crazys???
en
I agree, the FUD is relentless today. I guess a week is deemed enough ” mourning ” by the lower class pundits and bought off crapwriters.
Sounds like someone is projecting. It’s not the Apple products that are soul less.
I think the anti-Apple forces are hoping Jobs’ retirement offers them an opportunity. They’ve deployed their hit whores in an all-out assault.
I think certain types of people are being driven absolutely batshit insane, as MDN put it, by the fact that Jobs stepping down as CEO hasn’t caused Apple’s share price to hit $0, people to stop buying their products, and their whole campus to be incinerated by dragons.
It’s not about opportunism or being pissed off that Apple’s been really successful lately, it’s about how Steve leaving was supposed to strike the magical deathblow and it didn’t.
So now the Cult of Apple Hate is flying into a state of incoherent desperation. I think Hajo’s head was actually exploding when he wrote:
“And how are you supposed to get an installation CD into an iPad anyway, if it doesn’t have either a drive or a USB port? Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.”
I mean, that’s just… It’s so… It’s so beautiful it should be framed and hung up on a wall somehere. I’d ask where he bought an iPad app on CD-ROM, but I’m pretty sure it was Crazyville.
Speaking of which, hey, Microsoft, “CEO Hajo Schumacher” has an awesome ring to it. Just putting that out there.
“Buy the app, dummy. But why? I just bought the same program on a CD. Doesn’t matter. You have to buy the app.””
If he thinks he bought iPad apps on a CD then he must have a CD full of pirated apps meant for a jailbroken iPad. Unfortunately he and similar fools haven’t a clue how the theft system works when they search for a way to put the pirated apps into the iPad.
Take delight in telling them just put that CD into that tiny magical slot at the bottom of the iPad like everyone else.
++1
Your comment made me laugh out loud for a long time. Thank you.
Their campus wasn’t incinerated by dragons???? But Ballmer said…..
Hmmmm. A bunch of FUD and APPL drops 1.5%. Hmmmm. Not that I’m paranoid, mind you. 🙂
So that’s who Zune Tang is… Always wondered what is real name was. Sad piece of work.
No.
Zune Tang is a satirical Apple fan.
Exactly. I don’t know why people don’t get that.
Because he was never funny? Seriously, I got sick of him a few months after he arrived, and then he stuck around for years.
And he had absolutely no concept of what satire is. In order for a piece of writing to be satirical, there has to be something in it which clearly illustrates that it’s not meant to be taken seriously. Just saying “I hate Apple, Microsoft rules” is not satire.
Zune Tang may have intended to be satirical, but he never came off as anything more than a troll.
——RM
LordRobin… surely you jest!! Read your own words… “something in it which clearly illustrates that it’s not meant to be taken seriously.”
Hello… did you ever READ Zune Tang’s comments??? For God’s sake man… he was praising things like the Zune media player and the Microsoft Kin. If that’s not enough of a clue to you that he wasn’t meant to be taken seriously, then I’ve wasted my time trying to respond to your comment.
I found him quite funny and creative.
I think this piece is satire too. No one could be this stupid.
funny…and true.
Bleh! I actually try to keep my iPad from attention when in public. I don’t want to show off, I want to get things done. What a moron. Installation CD?? Seriously?
A least he didn’t ask where he was supposed to put his floppy discs.
Why do we have to be exposed to this drivel? And what about these stupid blog posts about Steve Jobs and Apple post-Steve? Where’s the news value in any of this?
Idiocy begets insanity !!!!
Did someone run over this guy’s dog this morning. He needs to chill out a bit.
Who paid this guy to write this dribble?
What insitefull opinions, not..!!
Finally there’s useful Technolgy everyone can use. My 80 year old mom got her first computer, an iPad, and she loves it and uses it daily with no training. How is that junk??
The iPad is my mother’s (75) first computer. And my autistic brother uses it by himself to FaceTime with us
it must be nice to supposedly call yourself a writer and manifest this utter soulless drivel with a smug hypocritical self-righteousness all in the name of selling adspace…nice work hajotard. you are so cool.
Some people obviously live in a clueless Bizarro World. What other manufacturer puts as much heart & soul in their products as Apple? I use my iPad & iPhone 4 because they fills a need in a terrific way, not to impress. I could give a crap about that. The only one I want to impress is me, by Apple.
+1
We never used Apple products because they were cool, we used them because they worked and you didn’t have to spend your weekends defragging your drive and running antivirus software.
If he thinks technology is about being cool, rather than its intended purpose of making things easier, then that says all you need to know about him.
Red wine and hand bags is about showing off?? I mean really, what planet is he from?
Handbags, yes. But, red wine? Wha?
It’s funny how some people’s mind work.
Every single apple product I have brought keeps the same until a few years later that I made the upgrade.
Every single PC owner I have seen buys a PC very cheap, then he has to pay for additional software, a web cam, another video card, bluthoot, wi-fi, antivirus and so on.. one year later, they have to change it because Windows does not run on his PC any more or is very slow to run it. Who’s is the soulless junk?
If you buy an iPad just to be “cool” then you’re pretty sad. If you but na iPad becuase it’s the best tablet out there then you’re normal.
Why do you post such articles? The article is pure nonsense!
I was glad MDN posted it. I had already seen the german original of the headline, and I wanted to read it because I was wondering how this BS (and more of that recently!) ended up on an otherwise sane news site. But I did not give them a click for that, instead I could now read it on MDN.
The shock of Steve resigning has made many go chemically unbalanced by the BOATLOAD.
Justice Dept is trying to block AT&T / T-Mobile merger.
Just another story to stir up the fanboys. Works every time. Geez, don’t any of you guys have jobs?
Do you. Seems like you have more time time then most.
And what concern is it of yours anyway, just trying to fit in, or just lonely.
Nice try GM, you get the early morning Trolling award.
Ha, “GM” . . . good choice for your post-eponym! Sitting around waiting for a government bailout, are you? I believe we can all smell dirty laundry in your mother’s basement, so it’s time to get off your smelly butt and do something productive.
Don’t let the dickhead fanboys get you down. An alternate viewpoint, even if it gets them grinding their teeth down to nubs, is always welcome. Haha.
Folks, I am from Berlin and I know Hajo Schumacher in person since I met him a couple of times. Also I saw him on TV shaking his half-long hairs in his little third-class talk-show on a third-class station around midnight.
Let me say this as polite as I can: He is a complete idiot and nobody is taking him seriously. His complete approach is totally arrogant, but he does not recognize this due to his extremely lack of intelligence. He shows no respect for any person, except himself, of course.
He is a failed editor-in-chief of a failed magazine, he always opens his mouth talking complete bullshit only to talk just something, and he is nothing less than a click-whore and an importance-whore. Usally he is a complete mediocre person.
I sincerely apologize for this guy, who has no idea what he is talking about. Please note, that not everybody in Germany is like him; he is a small minority. All the others are looking forward to our very first Apple-store in Berlin to be opened this fall.
Bernd from Berlin
(Forgive all my mistakes. But I could not remain silent when I noticed this crap.)
Great post Bernd!! Thanks for the insight!
Bernd, don’t worry, I work for a German company and have had the opportunity tow work with a lot of great and smart German guys. Back to this “journalist”, there are idiots in every country…
It is self evident Bernd. Thanks though.
hard to believe Berlin does not have an store though?
I’m amazed as well. Berlin is one of my favourite cities, though I’ve not been there for a while.
Thanks Bernd….nice to have the inside scoop on this guy
Bernd…and you wanted to be polite 😉
I’ll say it even more unpolitely: This Hajo: das ist ein Arschloch!
(I am German as well, in Frankfurt, and glad to have an Apple Store in my city already, packed with customers. Apple sells here like pancakes!) Cheers, Heinz
I still wonder how this stuff ended up in Spiegel Online. Usually, that’s a sane news site.
Spiegel Online – a “sane” news site??? A lot of wire service stories mixed with some forth-rate home-made stuff like this one written by this pompous halfwit.
…and as of today the original story has drawn 1,658 comments – mostly from those losers who can’t get over the fact that Apple has won.
Yeah you don’t have to apologize.
I’ve been to Berlin, great city. And my entire Baltic sea trip a whole week…. Not nearly long enough, Berlin and Danish folks were the friendliest we ran into. (took a long train trip to Berlin from warnemunde (sp) from the cruise ship) train sucked… Long story, but the rest was a blast in Berlin. Great food great people, oh… And beer!
I proposed to my wife in Bavaria. Beautiful country. St Goar, Garmisch, Rutenberg, Franfurt, Rudesheim, Kipsbuehl, Octoberfest, the Christmas mart. The Linderhoff…
The beer! 1
“Whatever you do, don’t mention the war”
When I went to Berlin 10 years ago, I went to a history of Berlin museum, complete with guide. Lots of history and explanation of Berlin. 1933-1945 was like 2 minutes and not much was said.
Understandable, but we all kinda had a silent chuckle.
Loved Berlin, and I want to go back.
Funny. Birchasgarden is home to the Hitlers Eagles Nest. Also known as the Wolfs lair. UNBELIEVABLE once you get to the top. The place is rich in war history. Right down to the HUGE italian fireplace that was a gift from Moussolini (sp?) Now it’s not Auschwitz for pure war history, but it’s very interesting. Especially if you go into the local pubs. I got more than 2 minutes worth
Hitler’s Wolf’s Lair or Wolfsschanze was located in Rastenburg on the border between Poland and East Prussia and not in Berchtesgaden.
So Android tablet users are shouting look at me I’m a loser and behind? I don’t quite get the “I can afford it, too!” comment. It’s obvious this writer has no idea about tablets. The ‘competitive’ tablets are about the same prices as an iPad and none of them install programs by CD.
Show off??? What about pilots, doctors, sales reps, students, artists etc…? And as stated higher in the thread, most iPad owners tend to be discreet
That’s the funniest iPad/Apple rant I’ve seen yet. He didn’t just regurg the same ol’ memes, he expanded on them and brought new levels of inanity, illogic and froth to these tired eyes.
Scientology, Catholicism and Apple. A trumvirate of EVIL!
i thpught it was pretty funny and a few things were accurate.
of course its comedy and meant to incite. It is comedy right?
only if you’re “cool”…lol.
LOL 1
Ubiquity?
Now THAT would be really cool. Like Tron identity disks, we could all have one? And everyone’s iPad would have all their dearly loved photos, music, videos, newspapers, and contacts inside it for instant access? So it would be like a part of us?
Oh, wait. Ubiquity would mean it isn’t a “showing off” issue, wouldn’t it? I think the author missed day one in Logic 101.
What an amazing point he missed completely. If we all have iPads, we all have something in common, not something that sets us apart. What a very John Lennon-like idea.
I love to show off my iPad late at night, when I am already setting out to sleep. The problem is that only my wife is with me at that time. But she is impressed.
“Something that was pleasingly different, that gave its supporters a certain feeling of hipness, has been sucked dry by its sheer ubiquity.”–so he used to like Apple only because he felt cool and now too many people think they’re cool too so he hates Apple? Whoa. Moron.
I agree with the point about criticism by Apple users. MS programs run poorly on Macs b/c MS fails. Apple programs run poorly on Windows b/c …. MS fails. IE is security swiss cheese always being patched. Quicktime just received timely updates. I love Apple the do get quite a free pass.