Michael Wolff: Steve Jobs is very much alive; is this good news?

Supreme Studio Makeover from MacMall.com MacDailyNews Note: WARNING: If you’ve just eaten, you may want to wait awhile until you read this one:

“The age of Steve Jobs is, to say the least, unexpected,” Michale Wolff claims for Newser. “Windows knocked him off the main stage for 10 years…”

MacDailyNews Take: Wrong.

Wolff continues, “Then the Internet seemed to sideline him…”

MacDailyNews Take: Wha?

Wolff continues, “Not to mention that serious business people (along with many others) thought he was nutty…”

MacDailyNews Take: He’s referring to Rupert Murdoch, who, of course, is the sanest man on the planet.

Wolff continues, “Then he had problems with the SEC (and not insignificant ones)…”

MacDailyNews Take: They seem pretty insignificant; Jobs was untouched.

Wolff continues, “Then he nearly died.”

MacDailyNews Take: Yay, Michael got one right!

Wolff continues, “Apple now has a bigger market cap than Microsoft (a prospect that not even the most devoted Apple fans would ever have imagined); the company is directly threatening Google for control of a significant part of the digital customer’s money and time; Jobs’ problems with the SEC have, magically, disappeared; and he seems, mirable [sic] dictu, very much alive. Is this good news?”

MacDailyNews Take: Michael Wolff is actually positing that the world would be better off if Steve Jobs were dead. And, he calls Jobs nutty! Sheesh. Then the crazy bastage implies that something nefarious happened between Jobs and the SEC, yet offers zero proof. One thing’s for sure: Michael Wolff comes off as one seriously scummy, jealous, miserable little man.

Wolff continues, “For the machine-loving consumer, Jobs’ triumph over Microsoft and Bill Gates is a marvel. Life seldom turns out this way. It’s a first in the history of architecture, where, in the mass market, the sensuous and beautiful triumphs over the functional and economic. The cost of such beauty, however, is having to accede to Apple’s world. Still, it is so much more pleasurable than the Windows world. But it is not just this world that is being acceded to—it’s acceding to Jobs himself.”

MacDailyNews Take: Trying to pass Windows off as “functional and economic” is cute, but laughably wrong. Windows has cost and continues to cost the world untold billions of dollars in lost productivity, time, and data, inflicted countless security catastrophes, etc., etc., etc. times a million.

Wolff continues, “We may never before have had a single executive in a public company who is so personally powerful. Is this good news?”

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MacDailyNews Take: So, what would Wolff prefer? A diminished, less powerful Steve Jobs, so we can all have crappier tech products? Steve Jobs has what he has for a reason: He earned it.

This, on the other hand, is what Michael Wolff is all about (Newser, January 16, 2009):

Steve Jobs, even more a Sun God—magical, temperamental, weird, frightening—than Murdoch, has nobody in his company, or world, to advise him, or challenge him, or balance him.

Reality doesn’t touch him. It is obviously not just a problem of physical heath, but of mental health, too. An obviously sick man, probably a mortally sick man, has been insisting on his own immortality—that’s nuts. The fact that most people have been willing to take him at his word has been as nutty… The logical answer to what happens at Apple without Jobs is that it dies. What you have, demonstrably, is a company without any managerial wherewithal beyond Jobs; these are Stockholm syndrome people. The big guy is dying and his crew is ready to go with him (taking the shareholders’ money along).

Michael, Steve Jobs still lives and breathes. That fact has obviously driven you to deep despair, you despicable sack of shit.


  1. Even pre-illness, Steve Jobs seemed to be more aware of mortality and the transient nature of human existence than most. I’m thinking specifically about a very insightful commencement speech he gave at Stanford (I think) a few years ago in which he referenced those concepts and emphasized the importance of achieving goals while one has the time. If I’m not mistaken, he’s also fairly familiar with Eastern philosophy, or, at least, that’ s my impression from some of the stuff he says. He seems to be a man who wants to have an impact while he’s able to. The drive and will that he always has exhibited have probably only intensified since his recovery.

  2. Michael Wolfe … I’m writing this stupid assholes name down so I remember it in the future.

    So, delivering the highest quality, most innovative products to the market at a fair price is somehow devious and undesirable. Lemme see, we had Jack Welch in charge of GE and they drove excellence to a new level and dominated the markets they were in. But, that was not a bad thing. So, having one of the most innovative, visioned, effective executives at the helm of a company that can make a significant difference in the coming years is a bad thing? Jeez…

    Now the jackasses that run Google are a different story. Invasion of personal data and stiff arming advertisers because they are running a monopoly in the search category…different story.

  3. Wow… I’d call this guy a worthless sack of shit, but that would be inaccurate, and an insult to sacks of shit, as they, at least, are good for fertilizer.

  4. “…the company is directly threatening Google for control of a significant part of the digital customer’s money and time;”

    I guess if all this tech stuff is your whole world, I could see a concern, maybe. When the power goes out, none of this will make a difference anyway.

  5. I saw this person on a short interview piece on cNBC about 1 month ago where he was discussing Steve Jobs vis-a-vis the rejection of his AppStore submission and if I recall correctly, the Gizmodo theft.

    The guy was extremely bitter to the point of being “irrationally exuberant” in his condemnation of all things Apple and SJ. He certainly was not objective in his comments and reminds me of bitter sourgrapes sourpuss Daniel Lyons (The Fake Steve Jobs) and, to a lesser extent, Rob Enderle (The Enderle Group).

    The Hallmark of each: they let their unbridled animosity get in the way of accuracy in their comments and articles.

  6. I’m with drbacon. Usage of such words in this context reduces, rather than increases, the persuasiveness of your argument. It comes across as being rather juvenile.

  7. @BananaMoon

    No. No. No. No. No.

    It’s spelled “Klaatu Barada Nikto”.

    Where on Earth did you go to school? ” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />

  8. Well, well, a few months ago, Apple was all golden in the press, now every cretin with a keyboard is launching idiotic attacks using a crafty mixture of FUD, made up stories and urban myth.

    It kinda gives me a warm and cozy feeling, like back in the good old days when Apple was circling the drain.

  9. “Steve Jobs, even more a Sun God—magical, temperamental, weird, frightening—than Murdoch, has nobody in his company, or world, to advise him, or challenge him, or balance him.”

    What about Cook, Ive, Oppenheimer, Schiller, Mansfield, et.al.? All long timers, all trusted colleagues. Besides, Jobs is rarely wrong.

  10. “a prospect not even the most devoted apple fan would have imagined” – wolff on apples larger than microsoft market share.

    What the f*ck!!! The majority of apple fans predicted this one. You’d have to be on crack not to forsee it!! … Ooh wait… This is Wolff talking… :/

    Grrr… Mdn, thanks for the warning -I barely kept my iPhone celebration icecream down after reading this.

    I feel like I want to tear out this guys innards and feed him to a unibody wood chipper.

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