Dvorak on Apple iPad: ‘First of all there is no stylus’

“Now that the fizz has dissipated regarding the Apple Inc. iPad, we can objectively look at the device and conclude that it probably will not have the impact on the market that the iPhone had,” John C. Dvorak writes for MarketWatch.

MacDailyNews Take: Funny, John. Too bad you’ve never looked at anything Apple has created with anything remotely resembling objectivity. It’s a good thing you dropped “probably” in there, too, Mr. Conviction.

Dvorak continues, “If you’ve been looking for a giant iPod Touch, this is the machine for you. So I’ve listened to the complaints about this device from every corner and found one interesting angle nobody seems to have noticed: people are grousing. They are not grousing to an extreme, since every one has their pet complaint, but they are indeed grousing. People do not realize that this in itself is a big deal regarding anything Apple. People may grouse about the company’s arrogance, but they never find much fault with the products themselves. So it’s a huge change of attitude when they complain at all.”

MacDailyNews Take: Horseshit. People like John — who critique from afar without ever needing to actually touch, much less use, Apple products — complained exactly the same way over the Mac, the iMac, Mac OS X, iPod, iTunes, iTunes Store, iPhone, etc. There is no “huge change of attitude.” The only thing huge is John’s fat head which has a nasty habit of continuously puking baseless, paint-by-numbers, hit-whorish negativity.

Dvorak continues, “Apple has not made a serous misstep since Steve Jobs arrived and introduced the original iMac. It did roll out a weird looking laptop that looked like a toilet seat but that was taken in stride as was the AppleTV device which people simply could not understand how to use.”

MacDailyNews Take: Funny line about the first iBook. Real original, John. It’s been a few years since we heard it the first thousand times. Apple TV, by the way, is the biggest so-called “misstep” in the world. Piper Jaffray estimates that Apple has sold 6.6 million Apple TVs so far. That’s well more than double the number that analysts estimate Amazon’s so-called “huge hit” Kindle has sold. That’s right: 2.5 million Amazon Kindles is a hit, but 6.6 million Apple TVs is a flop. Let’s pause a moment and let the absurd duplicity wash over us, shall we? Ahhh…

The bloated gas bag who hasn’t gotten one thing right yet continues, “Let’s look at the basic flaws people are complaining about… First of all there is no stylus.”

MacDailyNews Take: First of all: There are plenty of styluses for available if you want one (here’s just one example). Secondly: Apple’s Multi-Touch™ UI has rendered styluses obsolete beyond drawing. Using a stylus for anything else, especially for navigating a device’s UI is like using a pager. Or whiteout. And, thirdly: “The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a ‘mouse’. There is no evidence that people want to use these things.” – John C. Dvorak, San Francisco Examiner, February 19, 1984

Dvorak plods on, “The tablet market has only succeeded as a niche market over the years and it was hoped Apple would dream up some new paradigm to change all that. From what I’ve seen and heard, this won’t be it.”

MacDailyNews Take: “I think Apple can do wrong and I think this is it.” – John C. Dvorak commenting on the debut of iPhone, CNBC, January 11, 2007

Full article – Think Before You Click™here.

MacDailyNews Take: Congrats Apple! There’s no stronger guarantee of success than Dvorak’s kiss of death on an Apple product. This following Thurrott’s smooch. We can hardly wait for Enderle to pucker up and cap off the usual trifecta of mind-numbing stupidity that heralds yet another Apple triumph.

103 Comments

  1. Another fool living in the dark ages and writing crap on something he has only seen from afar, not touched and actually used. He’s resorting to hearsay. And there’s nothing like selective hearing to really undermine the hearsay he’s building his fallacious arguments upon. So really we all should tell this myopic butthole dvorak to shut the f*ck up and wait till he has used an iPad before spewing forth his shower of bullsh*t. How does this guy improve humanity even by one iota? He doesn’t, therefore he is a waste of space.

  2. I will be getting 2 ipads, and it still won’t be enough, I do wish they had a camera and iChat, but AT&T;would NOT be able to handle that traffic and they would get sued if they blocked it, so we have what we have

  3. “The Macintosh uses an experimental pointing device called a ‘mouse’. There is no evidence that people want to use these things.” – John C. Dvorak, San Francisco Examiner, February 19, 1994″

    What a vision!

    p.s. some people should use a wooden calculator and record their voice&music;on a wax cylinder. No more, no less.

  4. “I have a hard time believing that after seeing this folks are going to want an e-reader that just does plain text,” said analyst Rob Enderle of Enderle Group. “This is going to do some significant damage to existing e-readers on the market, even the formatted ones like the Plastic Logic Que.”

    http://economictimes.indiatimes.com/infotech/hardware/Apple-iPad-lays-claim-to-tablet-PC-market/articleshow/5511190.cms

    Oh nos.. we’re doomed, Enderle not playing fair.

    “Enderle praises, dooms iPad”

    http://www.boingboing.net/2010/01/28/enderle-praises-doom.html

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