‘Microsoft upstages Apple’s tablet?’ Is Fortune’s Philip Elmer-DeWitt nuts?

EA Store: Award-winning GamesToday’s proof that there’s always someone who doesn’t get it comes in the form of Fortune’s usually much more reliable Philip Elmer-DeWitt:

Under a laugh-inducing headline, “Video: Microsoft upstages Apple’s tablet,” Elmer-DeWitt writes, “Steve Ballmer’s keynote at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas Wednesday night ran for more than an hour and a quarter. But what got the most attention from the press gathered to watch it were the three minutes Microsoft’s CEO spent talking about his answer to the tablet computer Apple is expected to unveil in less than three weeks.”

MacDailyNews Take: If that was Microsoft’s “answer,” we don’t want to know the question. Virtually everyone on the planet who saw Ballmer’s presentation saw it the same way, except for Phil, it seems.

Elmer-DeWitt writes, “In a subtle dig at his competitors in Cupertino, he demoed the HP Slate with an Amazon Kindle version of Stephenie Meyer’s ‘Twilight.’ The book’s cover shows a pair of hands cradling an apple.”

MacDailyNews Take: Phil give Microsoft’s oblivious lump waaay too much credit. To mention just one debacle, Ballmer is a man who just recently peddled Windows 7 in front of a Mac on U.S. national TV, Phil. Sheesh.

Elmer-DeWitt’s full misreading of last evening’s event here.

MacDailyNews Take: Here’s how the rest of the world saw the event:
• Microsoft opens CES without much-hyped tablet, highlights past successes – CNN International
Why the Microsoft-HP Tablet Is a Big Disappointment – PC World
• Tablets at CES: Microsoft fails to wow – BBC News
• Ballmer shows HP slate/tablet PC in CES snooze-athon – The Guardian
• CES 2010: Microsoft chief Steve Ballmer fails to wow crowds at opening – The Telegraph
Microsoft generates little buzz in CES opener – MSNBC

We’re going to chalk this one up to temporary insanity probably induced by Ballmer’s mind-numbing presentation itself. Get well soon, Phil!

40 Comments

  1. The fact of the matter is Ballmer and fellow a$$-clown showed nothing new….

    The touch screens were advertised by the French bimbo 3 months ago…remember it was her idea.

    The game machine is out already. It is called a Wii and Nintendo’s quality standards are way above M$’s.

    just my $0.02

  2. It wasn’t much of a demo. He held it up and flicked a couple ebook pages across the screen (and the transitions sucked btw). I swear the only reason it’s getting any attention is because he made sure to use Twilight.

    You can tell it’s half baked vaporware and they barely have anything else finished. It’s amateur hour compared to what Steve will present us. By the time we’re done watching his presentation, we’ll feel like we already know the iSlate intimately and could pick it up and start using it the next day.

  3. “…the three minutes Microsoft’s CEO spent talking about his answer to the tablet computer Apple is expected to unveil…”

    “HIS” answer???? Ballmer? Ballmer hasn’t had an answer since he told Bill Gates his name on dorm assignment day in college.

  4. DeHalfwit wrote that before Balmer hit the stage. Obviously in their many ways the audience had to keep themselves busy while the black screen of death sent people into the land of Nod. It seems some had more vivid dreams than others… and then wrote about it.

  5. One the of the write ups I saw today, can’t remember which, said that Balmer was having a hard time using the standard Windows GUI widgets on the screen. Placement and size were too small for a tablet sized touch screen.

    That “upstages” Apple’s tablet. LOL

  6. SOOOO F$ FUNNY, Steve Ballmer is the greatest… in the clown industry….
    They have no idea of what apple might came with so they are adding everything to their laptops in order to cover everything apple might be doing… so funny, is like a chicken with out a head..

  7. From the video they still have the Windows task bar – didn’t they learn anything from their Windows Mobile experience?

    You can’t use the same interface with a new paradigm. That is why XBox is a success (or sorts). MS should buy Palm WebOS and port it to the slate and burn their Windows ships at the low end.

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