Microsoft has announced the grand opening celebration of their latest failure, the Microsoft Store, scheduled for October 22 at 10am local time in Scottsdale Fashion Square in Scottsdale, Arizona.
In ads placed in local print newspapers, Microsoft implores would-be celebrants to “Be early” because “Opening day gift bags and concert tickets will be given away at the Microsoft Store beginning at 10am. Gift bags will be given to the first 1,000 visitors.”
MacDailyNews Take: “1,000” is evidently a totally random number based exactly on how many t-shirts Apples has been giving away at their 250+ retail store grand openings for the past 8 and a half years.
Microsoft’s ads continue to tempt: “Concert tickets will be given to the first 1,000 visitors (limit 2 per person) and post concert autographs for the first 100 visitors.
MacDailyNews Take: Knowing Microsoft, it’ll probably be tickets to Ashley Tisdale or something.
Microsoft’s full page ads aren’t done yet as they implore: “Be excited Walk into the Microsoft Store and you’ll find lots of choices. Right away, you’ll see that it’s not all about hard drives and gigabytes.”
No, according to Microsoft, “Its about getting more out of the things you value, like capturing family vacations. Turning an evening at home into a night at the theater. Having some friendly competition among friends. Even making a dorm room feel a little closer to home.
MacDailyNews Take: Obviously, Microsoft intends on playing an infinite loop of classic Apple ads from throughout the years.
Microsoft’s ad, like most of Microsoft products, continues with unabating verbiage, “From computers to software to games, music and phones, once you’ve found what you’re looking for, the Microsoft Store offers services like personal training, technical support, ongoing performance tune-ups even extended protection plans to help you get the most out of your experience.
MacDailyNews Take: So, Microsoft intends to offer personal training for Macs, iLife, Tap Tap Revenge for iPod touch, iPods, and iPhones? As far as technical support and ongoing tuneups for Microosoft products, we hope they have a lot of staff on-hand. And, by the way, extended protection plans are very highly recommended, especially if you’re dead set on an Xbox, you red-ringer, you.
Microsoft says, “It all starts Thursday at our Grand Opening. We’ll see you there.”
Oh, wait, there’s even more, the ad also commands readers to “Be entertained. Pop superstar Ashley Tisdale will be performing live at 5pm to celebrate the Grand Opening of the store on Thursday, October 22.”
MacDailyNews Take: Smirk.
You know, it’s a good thing that physical newspapers are dying or Microsoft would have even more pages upon which to run on and on and on. Finally they close with, “Be first The world’s first Microsoft Store is opening in Scottsdale. And you’re invited. Come celebrate with live music, giveaways and special Grand Opening Day offers, like: A free HP-D 1660 printer with the purchase of any PC; Free Microsoft Office Home & Student with the purchase of any PC. Best of all, you get to be part of an incredible new shopping experience, right in your own backyard.”
MacDailyNews Take: Already, from day one, they’re trying to bribe people to get them into the store.
Gizmodo has scans of the ad as seen in The Arizona Republic here.
MacDailyNews Take: Yet another fiasco from Ballmer T. Clown and Co.