Microsoft wins patent for kidnapping parts of Windows, holding them for ransom

Mafiasoft has been granted a patent (United States Patent: 7,536,726) for kidnapping parts of Windows and holding them for ransom.

“The invention relates to restricting usage of software and hardware on a computer,” Mafiasoft’s patent application explains. “Many computers are currently manufactured with a general purpose “open architecture” operating system installed. An open architecture operating system refers to an operating system that makes numerous functions available to the user and also allows the user to modify the computer by installing additional software programs on the computer that provide additional functionality to the user or by removing software programs from the computer. The operating system can make a wide variety of functionality available to the user, such as recreational or educational programs, reference programs, productivity programs (such as word processing or database functionality), communications programs, etc.”

Mafiasoft explains, “One problem inherent in open architecture systems is they are generally licensed with complete use rights and/or functionality that may be beyond the need or desire of the system purchaser. Consequentially, the purchase price of these systems being indifferent to usage scenarios means users with limited needs pay the same rate for these systems as those with universal needs.”

MacDailyNews Take: Another problem is that such open architecture completely screws up Mafiasoft’s ability to extract even more cash from the Stockholm Syndrome sufferers.

Mafiasoft’s patent app continues, Subsequently, the user can, at an additional cost, acquire a digital key that allows the restrictions to be removed, upgrading the computer to full functionality.”

Read the full patent app here.

MacDailyNews Take: Apple’s Mac OS X: One version, fully-functional, superior-to-Windows, and reasonably-priced. Imagine that.

Time for Apple to update this spot to “Choose a Vista Service Pack, er, ‘Windows 7:'”

Direct link via YouTube here.

[Attribution: Slashdot. Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Rob” for the heads up.]

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