Dan Lyons ‘banned’ from CNBC after on-air screamfest over Steve Jobs’ health (with video)

According to The Guardian, CNBC is said to have banned Newsweek’s technology columnist, Dan “I Used to Pretend I Was Steve Jobs in a Blog, But I’m Really Just a Royal Asshole” Lyons, after he pitched a hissy fit on-air over Steve Job’s announcement that he was taking a six-month medical leave of absence yesterday (the worst of Lyons’ behavior is near the end of the clip):

MacDailyNews Take: Jim Goldman really has too much integrity to be subjected to that sort of treatment from some horribly maladjusted orifice who has no idea what the word even means. Throughout this story – for years – Goldman has routinely reported what he knew at the time and was working to find out – and confirm – even more information; in fact, it was Goldman himself who may have helped to push Jobs to take his medical leave of absence. Lyons, on the other hand, was proclaiming “If Steve Jobs is still running Apple at year-end (2008), I’ll be shocked.”

Well, Dan, you were wrong. Too bad you weren’t being literal; maybe it would’ve knocked some sense into you for a change. Jobs was running Apple on New Year’s Day 2009 and he continues to do so as Apple’s CEO even during his medical leave of absence: “As CEO, I plan to remain involved in major strategic decisions while I am out.”

Newsweek made the downgrade of the century when they lost the respected Steven Levy (who left the also-ran newsweekly for Wired) and tried to fill that gaping void with a walking, talking gaping void with a bad haircut: the smirking, cackling, nasty asshole Dan Lyons.

CNBC made the right decision in banning Lyons who seems to be pissed off at the world for something. Our guess is that Lyon’s is upset because he’s finally half figured out that he’s too stupid and/or lazy to have monetized and continued his well-trafficked “Fake Steve Jobs” blog for himself.


  1. Seriously, who is this guy? Is he 5 years old or something? People so often call Mac users “elitist,” its ironic then that Dan Lyons is the most pretentious, elitist jerk I’ve ever seen. Wow, just wow.

  2. Call me crazy, but I’m with Dan Lyons. God forbid any reporter actually have any integrity and call out bullying tactics by Apple and Jobs. I love Apple to tears, have defended forever, but in this instance they did handle the whole thing very poorly.

    Lyons is getting the same type of treatment that Ron Paul gets. God help us when someone with a little integrity actually speaks up.

  3. It’s strange how one little company can make people hate so much.

    All Apple has done is be successful and smart and Dan obviously hates them with a fiery passion that knows no bounds. I have never been able to figure out people like him.

  4. Mr Lyons, if Apple is as awful as you paint them, why are SO obsessed w/ them? I mean “Fake Steve Jobs” and you ALWAYS seem to have an opinion on them. Seems like you spend a whole of your time exploring all things Apple. Makes you wonder.

    Is there not OTHER technology out there to cover? You like a spurned lover–and in the process become NO USE to the reader nor your employer..

  5. Its really no1s business what Job’s health is. its his personal life. The only thing “SHAREHOLDERS” not even the regular public needs to know is if his health will effect his ability to work at apple and do his job. As they have just done, buy announcing his leave of absence.

    Otherwise no1 has the right to know. Any details pertaining to his health are also no1s business. End of story.

    Apple is allow to maintain secrecy about everything it wants. The only reason reporters want to report ANYTHING is to make money on sales/or hits on their article, and Apple has been the hot topic recently. Bring me a reporter that really wants to help society in the last 30 years and ill be very surprised.

  6. You seem to forget, Lyons was a royal asshole while he was “Steve Jobs”, not after. Sure he was funny (to an extent) but it was always clear through the humour that this was a pathetic little wannabe with a rusty ax to grind. Hopefully, Newsweek will dump this turkey soon. He makes Matt Drudge look respectable…

  7. @mystery- the reason people hate Apple so much is that it’s run differently than most mainstream companies, and it’s successful because of it. And because it’s run so differently and outside of the norm, people hate it. People hate anything that goes outside of their preconceived notions and proves them absolutely and utterly wrong by succeeding.

    People expected Apple to die back in the late 90s, and Steve came back and rescued the company. Yet another reason to hate Apple, the little company that survived in spite of itself.

  8. Nuclear Kid,
    Please do not EVER use douche bag Lyons and Ron Paul in the same sentence again. It is degrading to the honorable and very intelligent Mr. Paul to be grouped in with that ass hat.

    The Dude abides.

  9. Whether he’s right or not, Dan Lyons is a complete and utter arsehole of the highest magnitude.

    Fsck, I wanna smash the guys face in, and I’m totally against violence. I literally couldn’t believe what I saw.


  10. “I love Apple to tears, have defended forever, but in this instance they did handle the whole thing very poorly.”

    “Poorly” in what sense?

    In terms of shares’ price, no matter what and how Apple would put it, those would fall since nothing would change the fact than Steven Jobs is ill.

    So there is not sense to discuss how much poor or not Apple handled the matter.

    And there is no sense for Goldman to attack Steven Jobs as if he is established liar in this matter while there are very high chances that for such complicated matter as Steven’s health could be specialists indeed could come up with another reason during last why he has his condition.

    So there is nothing for what Jobs or Apple has to be blamed, except for the case if it is possible to blame him for becoming sick.

  11. I like MDN’s, too:

    “Walking, talking gaping void with a bad haircut”

    It’s a perfect description.


    Actually, it’s downright juvenile. Just as most MDN takes these days.. Not to say that I agree with Dan Lyons, because I don’t. But resorting to name calling and criticizing one’s appearance just because you don’t agree with them is, well, an elementary school tactic and as bad of behavior as Lyon’s showcased in that clip.

  12. Correction of a paragraph from Jan 15, 09 – 10:09 am post:
    “And there is no sense for Goldman to attack Steven Jobs as if he is established liar in this matter while there are very high chances that for such complicated matter as Steven’s health could be, specialists indeed could come up with another source of his condition during last few days.

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