“Do you remember last summer’s iPhone hysteria, when hordes of nitwits camped out for days on sidewalks outside Apple Stores so they could be first to purchase an overpriced, underperforming smart phone? At first I found the spectacle kind of funny, but then I found it depressing. Those people weren’t camping out for the phone. They were making a statement about who they are. I’m sure that makes Steve Jobs and his marketing minions happy, but there’s a whiff of sadness to the whole thing,” Daniel “Fake Steve Jobs” Lyons wrotes for Forbes.
Lyons asks, “How empty must your life be to drive you to seek meaning from consumer electronics?”
MacDailyNews Take: We actually know people who have friends that go to these lines with them, Dan. People also meet other people with similar interests in these lines all the time, Dan. Think of it like camping out, only on a sidewalk instead of the woods. It’s a party. Why do you think camping out and partying with friends is sad, Dan, you royal asshole?
Lyons continues, “We’re about to witness the ugliness all over again. By the time you read this, Apple should have announced the second-generation iPhone at its Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco on June 9. Once again idiots will be camping out on sidewalks.”
MacDailyNews Take: By the way, how empty must your life be to drive you to pretend you’re a major CEO who posts diary entries online? Did we mention that Dan Lyons is a royal asshole?
Lyons continues, “Great as the iPhone may be, I’ve held off on buying one. It surfed too slowly, and I’m generally reluctant to buy the first version of any tech product. Now I’m ready to take the plunge. As soon as the overnight campers clear out, I’ll be there with my credit card.”
Full article, Think Before You Click™, here.
MacDailyNews Take: Surely millions will now be camping out at Apple stores worldwide because some Forbes frigtard with zero iPhone experience proclaims it’s now suddenly okay to buy an iPhone, as if the first iPhone wasn’t revolutionary enough.
I don’t know why people take him seriously and why Forbes pays him to write. As FSJ, he is not really funny. The parody feels more ill-intended than humorous (though surprisingly, the real SJ thought it was funny). And don’t forget:
He was also the author of the Forbes cover article, “Attack of the Blogs”, where he claimed that blogs “are the prized platform of an online lynch mob spouting liberty but spewing lies, libel and invective”, claiming that Groklaw was primarily created “to bash software maker SCOGroup in its Linux patent lawsuit against IBM, producing laughably biased, pro-IBMcoverage”. (Source: Forbes).
Between 2003 and 2007 he covered the SCO case against IBM and Linux. He published articles like “What SCO Wants, SCO Gets”, where he stated that “like many religious folk, the Linux-loving crunchies in the open-source movement are a) convinced of their own righteousness, and b) sure the whole world, including judges, will agree. They should wake up.”
taken from Wikipedia. He has no credibility as a writer and an analyst.
@ Mike K
AT&T;’s 3G coverage maps have not been updated because AT&T;recently significantly increased its 3G coverage. So don’t rely on the maps.
You don’t have to buy a dock.
I pay $5/mo. for unlimited text messaging, which covers ALL phones on my plan – my iPhone, my wife’s two phones, and my son’s phone. Not bad at all.
Do you pay more money per month for high-speed internet access or do you pay less for dial-up? I pay more for high-speed because it’s worth the fees to me.
If you don’t like the “additional costs”, then I’m sure you can pick up a used iPhone 1.0 on eBay.
Dan… what an idiot himself for writing this… however, it looks like he is going to get smart as he is planning on getting the iPhone 3G.
He’s just trying to push peoples buttons to get some attention and hits.
It worked
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@ Adam
If you hate it so much, why are you here?
Grow up.
He was also the author of the Forbes cover article, “Attack of the Blogs”, where he claimed that blogs “are the prized platform of an online lynch mob spouting liberty but spewing lies, libel and invective”.
What an idiot! MDN is not a blog.
@bizlaw,
I’m not complaining about the additional costs, I’m just stating what they are..
No you don’t have to buy a dock and no you don’t have to buy SMS messaging, but you do have to pay $10 per month more even if you don’t have 3G coverage in your area..
All I’m saying is the iPhone 3G is going to cost more than the 1st generation iPhone no matter what options or plans you choose..
I still believe it’s worth the price, but it is certainly not “half the price” as advertised.
What happened to his humor? I thought he was supposed to be funny?
This wasn’t funny. This was mean.
Lyons: “Those people weren’t camping out for the phone. They were making a statement about who they are.”
How pretentious can you get?
Of course they were there for the f*cking phone.
Lyons can be very funny at times in the Fake Steve Jobs persona. On form he’s very, very good. However, he’s rarely on form and increasingly less so as time goes on and he runs out of material. Many of the posts are very weak if not downright boring.
He also has an unfortunate habit of using the column to pursue personal vendettas or to express Lyons-type opinions on favourite targets. But the column loses it’s point if you can’t imagine it as Jobs’s voice even when you know it’s not and even when it’s mischievously foisting an opinion on Jobs that you know Jobs probably doesn’t hold. You have to see Jobs in the column not Lyons.
But he’s a clever and sophisticated man and I suppose that when he followed the comments about “nitwits” buying an “overpriced, underperforming” phone with ” … As soon as the overnight campers clear out, I’ll be there with my credit card” he knew exactly what he was doing. It’s surely deliberate self-mockery.
Remember when people camped out, waited in line to buy Windows? I know, you really have to think way back. I bet MS would love to be able to have a product that gathers so much interest again. Vista has had a lot of press, just not the right kind.
I don’t like waiting in lines whether it is for apple or a rock concert but I don’t get upset with people who do.
@wannabe: Beautiful post! I have saved it in Yojimbo, and may quote it at some point.
Regarding queuing for the iPhone: It’s not something I would personally do, but I understand the sentiment. It’s about being passionate about something, and simply enjoying the experience, meeting others sharing the same passion.
Very obviously Lyons has never been passionate about anything. Apart from that, he is just trolling for hits.
I never met a Windows user who was/is excited about his PC.
Most of them are like a lightning rod, they attract problems.
I think he’s focusing unfairly on the iPhone campers as people camped out for the PS3, XBOX, Wii, etc.
Just let these people have some fun, it’s good time. It gets media coverage. Jeez, what a grouch.
I agree with Adam, MDN and readers are getting a bit sensitive an quickly resorting to name calling here. My “take away” from the MDN “take” is that Steve Lyons will be too late if he buys his first iPhone the next day. Then Jubei chimes in and says Lyons has lost half his MDN audience? You all are pretty tough on those you don’t deem to be true believers!
Ahh, come on. Be accurate. He is a fsckup (and really, really hates the world),
How would you like to be his bitch? Man, she must be a loon.
I think I would offer up the analogy of offering Stradivarious violins for $1,000.
Imagine how many violinists would camp out for one of those???
“Man, she must be a loon.”
I’m guessing a Red-throated Diver.
@stock happens,
No, we just think that he must have some ax to grind with Apple and/or Steve Jobs. Would he say the same about camping out for concert tickets to your favorite band?
Obviously, this guy didn’t think his argument through thoroughly.
@Ampar,
Red-throated? You’re giving his appendage too much credit. I bet he drives a sports car and wears a toupee, too.
He sounds to me like one of those condescending a-holes who have been told, by most every girl they asked out, to “get lost creep”.
People consider it an event…a party….a social gathering where they can meet other people with similar interests. Good thing he doesn’t camp out so people won’t have to say to him….get lost creep.
People like different things. Some people are willing to camp out for the iPhone. That does not make them idiots or nitwits. That just means they have technolust. How can a tech writer not understand that?
This comes off as a high school jock making fun of the nerds. Lame.
Idiots protest word wide after being depicted as Apple fanbois.
Morons threaten retaliatory action if likened to Apple fanbois.
Cretins issue press release denouncing any resemblance to Apple fanbois.
Imbeciles staunchly oppose stereotype of being identical to Apple fanbois.
Simpletons condemn comparison to Apple fanbois.
Dimwits launch huger strike after being called Apple fanbois.
Pinheads seek legal status as “more intelligent than the typical Apple fanboi”.
Democrats warn “Apple fanboi” hate speech seriously affecting self esteem of nation’s nitwits and numskulls.
it’s true then
you have no sense of humor.
just iHumor…
sad indeed.
Delete FSJ, simple
This smells more of satire than poop!
The best satire is that which makes you wince all the way to punch line. ie. “A Modest Proposal”!
C’mon guys, not so sensitive. Read/Listen first, then think, then speak.