Forbes writer: Once again idiots will be camping out on sidewalks outside Apple Stores

“Do you remember last summer’s iPhone hysteria, when hordes of nitwits camped out for days on sidewalks outside Apple Stores so they could be first to purchase an overpriced, underperforming smart phone? At first I found the spectacle kind of funny, but then I found it depressing. Those people weren’t camping out for the phone. They were making a statement about who they are. I’m sure that makes Steve Jobs and his marketing minions happy, but there’s a whiff of sadness to the whole thing,” Daniel “Fake Steve Jobs” Lyons wrotes for Forbes.

Lyons asks, “How empty must your life be to drive you to seek meaning from consumer electronics?”

MacDailyNews Take: We actually know people who have friends that go to these lines with them, Dan. People also meet other people with similar interests in these lines all the time, Dan. Think of it like camping out, only on a sidewalk instead of the woods. It’s a party. Why do you think camping out and partying with friends is sad, Dan, you royal asshole?

Lyons continues, “We’re about to witness the ugliness all over again. By the time you read this, Apple should have announced the second-generation iPhone at its Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco on June 9. Once again idiots will be camping out on sidewalks.”

MacDailyNews Take: By the way, how empty must your life be to drive you to pretend you’re a major CEO who posts diary entries online? Did we mention that Dan Lyons is a royal asshole?

Lyons continues, “Great as the iPhone may be, I’ve held off on buying one. It surfed too slowly, and I’m generally reluctant to buy the first version of any tech product. Now I’m ready to take the plunge. As soon as the overnight campers clear out, I’ll be there with my credit card.”

Full article, Think Before You Click™, here.

MacDailyNews Take: Surely millions will now be camping out at Apple stores worldwide because some Forbes frigtard with zero iPhone experience proclaims it’s now suddenly okay to buy an iPhone, as if the first iPhone wasn’t revolutionary enough.


  1. Self-satisfied types like to proclaim that “a computer is just a tool!” or what have you. I tend to wonder if these people are human or not; it seems a human would know that tool use defines us as a species, and we have bonded with our tools since the days of banging rocks together.

    Computers, now, are tools oriented at our minds, that seek to extend our very thoughts. And we’re not supposed to care? Show me the pianist who doesn’t care how their piano sounds to the point of being emotional about it, and I’ll (try to) stop caring about the quality of the software I use.

    You know, I took a look at my old AT&T;bills, and compared my data usage back in the first full billing month after purchasing an iPhone to my usage last month, and found that I’m using even more data now than I did a year ago, when the iPhone was new and shiny. It just goes to show how much the iPhone’s superior software has become part of my way of life.

    I didn’t camp for days before the launch — only a few hours — but I did notice that I was surrounded by people from a wide variety of age groups and backgrounds. We just want better software, OK?

  2. copy/paste of what I emailed him… “So, I could be formal, diligent and informative about how I think your are wrong and extremely rude, but mostly what bullied it’s way to the front of my thoughts is this:

    “Fsck you, daniel.””

  3. It’s pathetic all his drivel. And to think he had nothing better to do with his free time than be Fake Steve Jobs. Now he has nothing better to do than complain about the success the real Steve Jobs is having with his company and products. Stop writing drivel and get out there and do something with your life Dan. Its pathetic.

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