Those beholden to Microsoft are deeply concerned about Apple’s latest threat: iPhone

“Analysts beholden to Microsoft are deeply concerned about the threat posed by Apple’s troublesome new iPhone: it’s far too much money, does nothing new at all, it’s missing all kinds of essential features, and it’s doomed to fail even by such minor details as its name,” Daniel Eran writes for RoughlyDrafted.

Eran writes, “Further, they are quick to point out, the iPhone is all just vaporware anyway. At least it is until June, at which time it is certain to whimper into an unappreciative market, just like Sculley’s 1994 Newton or Steve Job’s last bomb, the PowerMac G4 Cube.”

Eran writes, “Or, alternatively, the iPhone may storm the market like a plundering pirate fleet, killing off all competition and everything else we hold dear: 3G liberties, the freedom to write our own phone apps, and the desperate plight of developers, developers, developers. Oh the humanity!”

The iPhone has caused more reason to fear and doubt the uncertainty of Apple’s survival since the iPod,” Eran writes.

Full article, including Eran’s “Five Phases of Media Coverage” as they pertain to Apple and Microsoft, the Zune joke, Greenpeace, and much more here.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “LinuxGuy and Mac Prodigal Son” for the heads up.]

Related article:
The massive FUD campaign against Apple’s iPhone ramps up – January 10, 2007

60 Comments

  1. The RDM images are part of the fun. Not surprising there are thousands of Microsoft zealots about like Flannigan ready to bad mouth him.

    Daniel Eran is essential reading for any Mac fan and for anyone interested in technology. His analyses are enlightening.

  2. I find Dan Eran to be an intelligent, thoughtful, and witty writer, and usually pretty much dead on. I thought this latest piece was absolutely brilliant! Almost sounded like something Colbert would have done.

    Anyone who would criticize him is obviously suffering from Stockholm’s Syndrome (not to mention a missing sense of humor).

  3. Worst headline. Ever.

    Here’s the reality of the situation, and perhaps MDN can correct the page with something a little more accurate:

    Those beholden to Apple are deeply concerned about Microsoft’s latest threat: Zune

    Hay Apple lemmings, the Zune isn’t vaporware like your little phone with features just about everyone else has had for years. It’s for real and it’s groundbreaking interface, huge screen and points system for use at the Zune Marketplace are taking the MP3 player world by storm. Don’t give me that BS about the Zune’s rankings at Amazon. Real music enthusiasts and technically astute gadget aficionados don’t shop there. They go to Office Max or Circuit City, and that’s where Zunes are flying off the shelves.

    Cupertino fears the day Redmond adds phone capability and Windows Mobile to the already awesome Zune. Cupertino, start your copiers.

    Your potential. Our passion.

  4. “or Steve Job’s last bomb, the PowerMac G4 Cube.”

    Grrrrrr…..repeat after me, “the Cube was not a failure”, “the Cube was not a failure”….

    Failures don’t sit on my desk and work flawlessly for 6 1/2 years!

    ” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”shut eye” style=”border:0;” />

  5. That was a GREAT article.

    Apple will always be the “renegade,” even when it controls the defacto standard for digital players and media. That’s why it attracts such a loyal following, whereas Microsoft is treated like “big brother” even when it is not.

  6. Hey guys. Any of you agree with me that the term “reality distortion field” really should refer to Microsoft’s imposed perception on their users that the typical computer experience should require tons of third party security software and allow for regular crashes rather than Steve Jobs ability to eggagerate the coolness of a product into peoples minds creating a desire that is overblown?

    When ever I watch SJ’s Keynotes I am usually excited and impressed by what he shows us and have never been disappointed in an Apple product or thought it was over hyped. Surely if he had a reality distortion field I would be dissapointed once I bought the products. Wouldn’t I?

    If you listen to the noise the Windows trolls make squirting on about how crap they think Apple’s new iPhone will be and how great anything coming out of the Redmond campus is I really think they have a distorted view of computing in General.

    Clem was right about Stockholm Syndrome but there is definitely a chunk of cognitive dissonance thrown in too eh!!

  7. Read the article. What are you scared of Windoh suckers? Truth?

    You know you are morons, does it hurt reading it loud and clear?

    You are so used to eat shit you like it. You deserve Windows. Stay there and stay outta here. PLEASE, STAY on WINDOWS, keep eating shit: it actually is good for your health.

    There is some wisdom on old saying. One that I remember is “It is not worth to give pearls to pigs”.

    Well, not even lipstick: Microsoft still has to learn that. Vista has lipstick all over the place. Still sucks.

  8. To everyone accusing me of being a “troll”…

    Maybe you should try actually using facts and logic instead of name-calling. But I guess I wouldn’t really expect any better from supporters of RDM. But don’t mind me, just bury your head back under the sand and pretend that Apple is the be all and end all of technology and Steve Jobs can do no wrong.

  9. The article is so much “tongue in cheek” I almost bit mine off laughing so hard.

    The facts at the bottom are probably the most humorous because they are mostly accurate. Are they from a skewed perspective? Yep. But what isn’t these days. Everyone wants to sell something, so they cast their choice in the most favorable light or go trolling to get the sensationalist ferver going.

    Take it for what it is and let yourself be amused. I work, and by work I mean my primary job/career/moneymaker, is supporting and administrating almost every shipping OS. If you can’t see the humor in all this Windows/MacOS/Linux/*nix fanaticism, then you need a funny bone transplant. Every OS does the same basic things, process input, generate output, and interface with the human race or other OSes. Plain and simple. Arguing over which is better/more vulnerable/invovative is childish at best, although, I do have to say, Apple has more fun with it (watch the Mac v. PC ads).

    Best thing to do when you find your self espousing one OS vehemently, is to take a step back, get over yourself, and do what you like with what you like. Let the “professionals” stab at each other in the media and enjoy the show.

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