For some reason (is the news that slow today?) Forbes has “chosen 10 of [their] favorite celebrity business moguls from the Forbes list of The World’s Billionaires and asked a professional astrologer to give us the lowdown,” Elisabeth Eaves reports for Forbes. One of Forbes “favorite celebrity business moguls” is none other than Apple CEO Steve Jobs. Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer is also subject to this highly scientific article.
Eaves reports, “We turned to Michael Lutin as our guide to the heavens. As well as giving private readings, Lutin is the author of SunShines: The Astrology of Being Happy; he’s also opined about the future of America. We asked him to pronounce on heavyweights whose lives affect our own in one way or another–if not via our stock portfolios, then through the inventions and innovations we use everyday, or through philanthropic donations so vast they are bound to set agendas.”
Steve Jobs, Chief executive of Apple Computer: Birthday: Feb. 24, 1955, Sign: Pisces
Jobs is starting off 2007 in the spotlight (again): There are questions about his stock options, and he has a high-profile product rollout scheduled for next week. But Lutin says he’s up for the challenge. “As your progressed sun nears Mars in Aries over the next two years, you’re more fired up than ever to keep the wolves at bay,” he says, arguing that the fact that Jobs dropped out of Reed College won’t hold him back. “A person doesn’t need a fancy education to be a leader of the pack. All it takes is a great idea, gritty determination never to be a follower, plus a healthy dose of resentment for authority figures.”
Steven Ballmer, Chief executive of Microsoft: Birthday: March 24, 1956, Sign: Aries
Microsoft’s gung-ho leader has “that macho Aries thing” going on, says Lutin–but so much more. “You were born with a Jupiter Pluto conjunction, which usually signifies not only grandiosity but success to match,” Lutin says. Yet he suggests that Ballmer’s famous energy may be flagging: “Something seems to be happening,” says Lutin. “You’re seeing Chiron’s return in your solar 11th house. Looks like you’re beginning to think, ‘Can’t I have a life, too?'”
MacDailyNews Note: Mr. Lutin, that wasn’t “life.” As usual, Ballmer’s thinking, “Can’t I have another doughnut?” The circular shape probably threw you.
Full article with eight more “favorite celebrity business moguls” ranging from Bezos to Speilberg here.
MacDailyNews Note: We didn’t realize it until now, but Apple released Mac OS X on Ballmer’s birthday back in 2001. We can just imagine Jobs: “Here’s what you’ll be copying for the next 20 years, Balmy. Happy Birthday!”
Slow news day huh?
Why is Jobs still CEO? He committed fraud by making up bogus meetings and participated in back dating stock options.
His days are numbered.
{sarcasm}
Finally, a report by an analyst that based his report on concrete information and reasoning. Much better than the usual run of the mill analysts.
{/sarcasm}
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ZZZzzzz…..
I hope he accounted for the inherent orbital influences of Ballmer, the gas giant. His moon eclipses the northwest U.S. daily.
Quite a switch, MDN, from science and high tech to superstition and ignorance.
MDN’s horoscope, “Stay out of the path of runaway trains.”
@koolaid: Why? Well maybe because you’re not in charge. Why is that? Maybe because you don’t know what you’re talking about. My magic 8-ball told me.
Seriously… the cosmic insights here are truly stunning. If we can take away anything from this story, it’s one simple statement to Steve Ballmer:
Get a life.
-c
MW: ‘known’ (to buy snake oil by the case)
Hey Ballmer, Pluto is in Jobs’ 2nd house (Disney)… and Zune is in Uranus!
And if this year turns out to be as rotten for you as we expect, just remember: The fault, dear Ballmer, lies not in our stars but in ourselves.
Chrissy, you and the rest of the drones here are in denial.
Dptkoolaid: And we are so proud of you for skipping right to the anger phase.
Hey Koolaid boy – you are so sure that Steve’s days are numbered. Tell you what, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is. Here’s the challenge: If the feds indict Steve and he is fired or forced to resign, I will never post here again. However, if the stock scandal passes over Steve and he’s not found guilty of anything and retains his job, you don’t come back here.
For honesty sake, this means don’t show back up at all. No new alias, no nothing. Leave the site alone. Never post here again. Hell, never even visit the page again. So, do you want to take this one up? If his days are numbered as you say, you should be only so glad to take the challenge. I really like this site. I get a lot of good info here and have a chance to discuss Macs with others. But I’d just love to see this site without you around here. So let’s do it.
JvW
koolaid
Kool Aid,
Come on down and visit sometime. There plenty of soap on the shower floor.
Sign me up with Jimbo.
If Steve goes, I go.
And as an added bonus, I’m sure the stock would tank, too, so I would personally loose a lot more than my MDN identity.
Whaddaya say, Koolaid?
-c
MW: ‘clear’ (of all wrongdoing)
This is too funny Ballmer actually was born in the Chinese year of the MONKEY! 1956.
Coincidence? I think NOT!
Jobs was born in the year of the Ram. Makes sense…and Leopard will be rammed right down the monkey’s throat this year.
Ballmer had a birth day? I always thought he was hatched like Jonathan Winters in Mork and Mindy.
Nice try, Jimbo and Chrissy.
But all trolls are inherently cowards.
It’s what makes them trolls.
Gosh, I don’t know if I could go on with life if I couldn’t post here anymore. It’s just damn fun. I guess if there was some way to verify that someone wasn’t posting any more I’d take up the challenge.
No, he was created in a lab at the University of Washington. They were trying to make a cow that actually wanted you to kill and eat it, and was capable of saying so. But they added too much tongue, too much sweat, and not enough hair, and the resulting creature escaped and hopped a ride across the 520 floating bridge in a cabbage truck.
-c
MW: ‘mother’ (was a 10 oz. beaker)
@Don’t pass the koolaid:
If there is one thing I’m damn lousy at, it’s pretending not to be me. Verifying my real identity in the interweb is almost ridiculously easy, and if it takes you much more than 3 clicks to do so, you might want to take a class. I hear Ted Stevens is available.
Koolaid, you are in luck! MDN can track your postings to verify for us if you’d like. Then again, you are undoubtedly too chicken shit to take the challenge and back up your claims.
The astrologer for to mention to Steve Ballmer:
It looks like Pluto will be flagging and Zune will be obstructing Uranus.
MDN has been tracking me? Now I’m really scared.
I didn’t realize I was so despised on MDN. This makes me feel sad.
I’m with Jimbo too…Why anyone would waste their time (and anyone else’s) to post something purely to get a negative reaction (the textbook definition of a troll) is not understandable. But I too will stop posting here (though the collection of over 40 macs we use will likely continue just fine) should SJ be indicted…and dptka? Try being something other than pointless.