“I have right here in my hot little hands, which actually aren’t all that little and are only slightly warm at the moment, a brand-new, lick-ready, smooth-as-love Apple MacBook Pro with Core 2 Duo Super Orgasm Deluxe Modern Computing Device Designed by God Herself,” Mark Morford writes for The San Francisco Chronicle.
“What, too much? Whatever. Because this is now the thing: Apple is now deep, deep, deep in the public consciousness, deeper than it’s ever been, what with tens of millions of iPods doing more to help the coolest tech brand in the world slip effortlessly inside every cultural nook and cranny and luggage compartment and automobile and airline and Christmas wish list than anyone ever thought possible,” Morford writes.
Morford writes, “And this new MacBook line (along with, to a lesser degree, the charming iMacs) has only served as an incontrovertible anchor, serious proof that the iPod is no fluke and that there is real thought and muscle and Zen-like joy behind the brand, and as an owner of one of these new Core 2 Duos, I am here to tell you that these hot little MacBooks are full of sound and fury, signifying everything.”
“Deny it at your peril: The company’s much-lauded design ethos has become so refined, tactile, thoughtful, its overall look and feel so much more hip and attuned and helpful than just about any other major gadget manufacturer in the entire world, you swear you hear some sort of harmonious cosmic hum when you open the surprisingly gorgeous packaging,” Morford writes.
“I ain’t talkin’ global warming. I don’t mean they’ve solved world hunger or cured cancer or ended racism or muzzled Ashlee Simpson. But I do mean something that, in its way, is nearly as profound: They’ve managed to make the world just a bit more pleasurable, tasteful, beautiful. They’ve added a dash of that rarest of human qualities, especially when talking about factory-made tech stuff: They have added a touch of grace,” Morford writes.
Much more in the full article here.
Hell yeah!
.. Amen !
Hee Hee. He said “Duo Super Orgasm”…….
That’s what I’ve been saying for 20 years now…
I think he just came in his shorts. Sexy things in your lap will do that to you.
Very nice! I like Morford’s willingness to really say what he wants to, and in a fun and literate way. Nice job, Mark. I’ll be reading your column from now on!
In a related article about MonkeyBoy Ballmer, Morford goes on to write:
“I am here to tell you that these hot little armpits are full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.”
MDN magic word: <gross>
A little over the top but a damn fun read.
you said it, John. FOr once it’s nice to read an article that isn’t restrained by some sort of overbearing cloud that says you’re not allowed to give the Mac Books the props they really deserve.
And by the way, the new naming scheme is working great for Apple. Mac Books – so much better than iBooks.
Jonathan Ive is a Goddess? Hmmm, I wonder if he knows?
I would NEVER lick a Dell.
Nice to see enthusiasm, but “tastes of hope and sex and candy”? “Harmonious cosmic hum”? I think that Mark’s “SO” might just be his new MBP. I’m not sure the warranty covers, well…
Although there might be something to that ‘hum’ thing –
Was this guy mac the knife?
If not he reminds me of him. Whatever happened to that guy?
You NEVER lick a DELL, you never know where that DELL has been.
Blimey!
Working on my MBP, I can’t disagree, though I do prefer women for my physical pleasures.
And my G5 iMac is having a slight *issue* with seeing inside some folders.
Still, if I gotta stare at a screen I might as well agree with His Superorgasmo, the well pleased MM.
Enjoy your weekend everyone.
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matsfan74,
Since you brought up Dell: A Dell-using associate of mine has been having some ongoing problems with his 6 month old Dell laptop, and its been returned to Dell a couple of times now. Well, the last time it went in, and my associate/friend called to get the status of his computer, the rep. on the telephone asked him what he was mostly doing with his computer. My pal said mostly multimedia presentation and preparation. And, check this out, according to my fellow worker, the Dell guy recommended that he buy a Mac. Now I didn’t hear the Dell guy say that myself, but my buddy is a pretty hardcore Windows person, and this would generally not be something he would be prone to bragging about, so I’ve got to believe its true.
I’ve always preferred to NOT make my Macs a religious experience, but just to take them for what they are – Really damn good, well made, well designed (with only the occasional lemon, which I’ve NEVER gotten from Apple), that provides not just style and elegence, but an end-user experience that is so well thought out that it actually enhances work and overall productivity.
I want to hug him.
Apple designs come from Tolkien’s Middle-earth. Yep, Apple is of elven design. Woz and Jobs tripped out one night in the early 70s and were given a guided tour of Rivendell. Needless to say, we know where Gates was.
No doubt a popular book of that day was called, “Apple is from Rivendell, Microsoft is from Mordor.”
DJ
sounds like you need to repair permissions and run diskwarrior!
Hey! Apple does make great products, but it smacks of ignorance to allude to God in anyway. learn to keep your feet on the ground, There is only one GOD, HE is the reason Jobs can build and you can appreciate.
BigQ
Mate, you almost got it right.
But to get it down ‘n’ correct ……
– Jobs is God.
– Apple is divine.
I use a mac book pro but I am not spending 1300 bucks for a laptop that use a built in garaphics card now way in hell.
It is great look machine I agree, but for the price point it should have at a minimum a 64mb video card.
Best line: “Apple has actually managed something quite radical for a tech company: It has not merely changed the world, it has actually improved it.”
Amen.
Peace.