The “Zune Insider Blog,” from Cesar Menendez, a Microsoft employee working on Microsoft’s new music project, “Zune,” has posted five TV commercials for Zune that, in our opinion, further pave the way to Zune’s inevitable failure. These five spots all fail on many levels. They are boring, overly obtuse, try way too hard to be “with it,” and fail to inspire any feeling whatsoever of wanting or needing a Zune. These are not good ads. This is not a good advertising campaign. This whole Zune thing is shaping up to become quite the debacle. Zune is “MS Bob” for the 20 Aughts.
We asked our own SteveJack (16-year TV vet) to watch the ads and comment. SteveJack said, “Awful. Truly awful. Where do you want to squirt today?™ When will the rest of the world finally see that Microsoft is a failure masquerading as a success?”
As we’re fond of asking, “What’s brown and squirts?”
Picnic (90-second spot):
Battle (60-second spot):
Concert (30-second spot):
Dog Scratch (15-second spot):
Couple (15-second spot):
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “mango” for the heads up.]
Related articles:
JupiterResearch: Apple’s iPod will dominate for foreseeable future; Microsoft’s Zune insignificant – October 25, 2006
Apple’s taken iPod+iTunes to an entirely different level; iPhone will be like supertrain – October 21, 2006
AP: Apple’s new iPod, iPod nano, iPod shuffle ‘clearly worth the wait’ – October 19, 2006
Apple announces iPod nano (PRODUCT) RED Special Edition, iTunes (PRODUCT) RED gift card – October 13, 2006
Apple iPod games reviewed – October 06, 2006
Mossberg: Apple’s new iPod+iTunes are ‘better products at better prices’ – October 04, 2006
The Washington Post: ‘New competitors can’t measure up to Apple’s iPod’ – September 30, 2006
Computerworld review: ‘Apple’s new iPods are better than ever’ – September 27, 2006
Review: Pac-Man for iPod – September 27, 2006
PC Magazine’s 19th Annual Readers’ Choice Awards for MP3 players: Apple iPod line – September 25, 2006
Thurrott reviews Apple’s iTunes 7: ‘the best software-based media jukebox I’ve ever used’ – September 22, 2006
USA Today reviews new Apple iPod nanos, updated iPods, iTunes 7 (each earns 4 stars out of 4) – September 21, 2006
CNET Editor’s Choice: Apple fifth-gen updated iPod – ‘best, most attractive iPod to date’ – September 20, 2006
Disney sells 125,000 movie downloads via Apple’s iTunes Store in first week – September 19, 2006
PC Magazine review: iTunes 7 ‘Apple’s best effort yet’ (4 stars out of 5) – September 15, 2006
CNET Editor’s Pick: Apple’s new 2G iPod nano – ‘sure to be top choice among wide range of users’ – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Apple ‘s iTunes+iPod+iTV model ‘the gold standard for the digital home of the future’ – September 12, 2006
What’s new in Apple’s iTunes 7 – September 12, 2006
Analyst Gartenberg: Apple ‘s iTunes+iPod+iTV ‘will be hard for other players to match’ – September 12, 2006
Apple debuts iTunes 7 – September 12, 2006
Apple debuts new iPod in 30GB and 80GB with Hollywood movies, games and new lower price – September 12, 2006
Apple intros new iPod nano with new aluminum design in five colors and 24-hour battery life – September 12, 2006
Apple unveils new iPod shuffle: world’s smallest digital music player – September 12, 2006
Ellen DeGeneres Show gives away Microsoft Zunes, studio audience goes berserk – October 23, 2006
More Microsoft Zune myths explored – October 20, 2006
Five more Microsoft Zune myths – October 18, 2006
Microsoft Zune intensifies chaos in Apple iPod+iTunes also-ran market – October 16, 2006
Newsweek Q&A: Apple CEO Steve Jobs discusses iPod’s impact, Microsoft’s Zune, and more – October 15, 2006
Microsoft’s Ballmer: Zune device not money loser, wishes Apple’s 30GB iPod was $299 instead of $249 – October 11, 2006
Microsoft’s consumer electronics track record: long string of failures – October 11, 2006
MP3.com founder: ‘Zune will be an expensive failure for Microsoft because consumers aren’t stupid’ – October 06, 2006
Microsoft fails to secure key Zune domains – October 04, 2006
Microsoft rigs Zune with tricky pricing and proprietary money schemes – October 03, 2006
Why Microsoft’s Zune won’t kill Apple’s iPod – October 03, 2006
10 Apple iPod vs. Microsoft Zune myths – October 02, 2006
Analyst: Zune could lead to ‘civil war’ between Microsoft and Windows Media partners – September 29, 2006
Thurrott on Microsoft’s Zune: ‘The makings of a disaster, what the heck are these people thinking?’ – September 29, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft Zune’s as good as dead on arrival – September 28, 2006
Microsoft sets 30GB Zune price at $249.99 – September 28, 2006
How Microsoft’s Zune can kill Apple’s iPod – September 21, 2006
Microsoft’s Zune insanity – September 21, 2006
The Microsoft Zune 1.0 dud – September 20, 2006
Microsoft’s underwhelming Zune a ‘viral DRM’ device – September 18, 2006
SanDisk teams with RealNetworks against new common foe: Microsoft Zune – September 18, 2006
Creative does Apple’s dirty work by immediately attacking Microsoft’s Zune – September 17, 2006
Motley Fool’s Jayson: Microsoft’s ‘just plain ugly’ Zune a meager offering, not an iPod killer – September 15, 2006
What’s in a name? ‘Zune’ a French-Canadian euphemism for penis or vagina – September 15, 2006
Crave at CNET: ‘Microsoft Zune, all the excitement that brown can bring’ – September 15, 2006
Microsoft’s Zune underwhelms – September 15, 2006
Enderle: Microsoft Zune ‘a design mistake’ – September 15, 2006
Microsoft hypocrisy exposed with Zune: What ever happened to ‘choice?’ – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft Zune with fake scroll wheel ‘hardly an Apple iPod killer’ – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft Zune won’t spoil Apple’s biggest iPod Christmas ever – September 14, 2006
Microsoft unveils Zune 30GB player, Zune Marketplace; declines to disclose prices – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft’s Zune an ‘underwhelming’ repackaged Toshiba Gigabeat; no threat to Apple iPod – August 30, 2006
Microsoft confirms brick-like Zune to be made by Toshiba – August 25, 2006
Microsoft Zune is chunky brick made by Toshiba – August 25, 2006
Microsoft to spend hundreds of millions, several years on Zune trying to catch Apple iPod+iTunes – July 27, 2006
Zune: Apple cannot lose. Microsoft cannot win. – July 26, 2006
Hey what’s wrong with you guys?
We showed the ads to His Baldness Ballmer and he absolutely liked them. He started to jump up & down furiously shouting “ZUNE ZUNE ZUNE ZUNE”.
We all left the meeting room and everyone could still hear “ZUNE ZUNE ZUNE ZUNE….” for at least 15 minutes more.
What’s wrong with you guys?
I’ve just watched ‘Social” and won’t bother with the rest.
Maybe it’s a Microsoft in-joke that they’re using Apples ‘dancing silhouettes’ and fleshing them out with the hip-hop dancers (taking a break from their usual guns ‘n’ ho’s ?).
As with the dogs – well, if you have your Zune with you, you’ll never be short of an heavy, immovable object to tie your dog to to stop it running away…
Are they selling some kind of medication?
A.D.D.? Constipation? Depression? Allergy?
Sleep Disorders, that’s it!
Is there ANYTHING social about listening to music with headphones?
When I want to block everything out… THAT’s when I plug in the ‘phones.
Oh yeah, I go to a party wearing headphones.
I hang out with my GF wearing headphones… she’d KILL me if I tried it!
I go to a concert wearing headphones.
Uh huh.
Maybe I take a crap wearing headphones… Zune it.
The dog one was the funny. I think he was trying to get the Zune out of his ears.
The music is fabulous, too! All droning suburban white boy crap.
Is ANYone at Microsoft AWAKE?
zzzzzzzzzz
Oh. MY. GOD.
Who approved those ads?
They are absolutely AWFUL.
I don’t even know what product they’re selling!
I don’t even know what they’re trying to say!
And to top it off — they’re boring!
Looks like it’s gonna be a horrible Christmas for Microsoft… and they deserve it!
Here’s a fun vote: (currently standing at 37% is “MS shouldn’t bother, Zune can’t win”)
http://blogs.zdnet.com/BTL/index.php?p=3842
By the way, how many people do you know who wirelessly share their business cards via their Palm Pilots? Maybe you’ve done it yourself… ONCE or TWICE in your entire life?! People just don’t want to wirelessly share their music with each other.
I remember when the iPod first came out they really marketed the “dual” earphone splitter so two people could listen to the iPod at once.
I think they discovered people weren’t really interested in that because they dropped that all together. They don’t even talk about that anymore.
I’ve had an iPod for 4 years and I have never once really, really needed to have someone listen to a song on it. My niece shares a lot of music (she’s 22) but that is far more a status and social thing as she shares enture libraries that she doesn’t ever het a chance to listen to. She would have no interest in a 2 day borrowing of a song wirelessly.
There was absolutely no need for Microsoft to enter this market and its further evidence that Microsoft’s success has been moree accidental than deliberate.
Finding a fellow Zune owner to share a squirt with will be as tough as me trying to find another iSight/iChat owner to video conference with.
I’m pretty suprised MS didn’t ship it with white earphones since they try to copy everything else apple does?
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”smile” style=”border:0;” />
Though maybe they did try to copy the whit earbuds and ended up with a brown player instead
CRAP they are all CRAP!
If you want some insight to Microsoft’s marketing strategy scroll down the page and click on each ad really fast to play them simultaneously. The resulting cacophony is what Bill hears in his head when thinking about the future.
“Awful. Truly awful. Where do you want to squirt today?™ When will the rest of the world finally see that Microsoft is a failure masquerading as a success?” – SteveJack
Bwahahahaha!
The commercials were brown. The music was brown. The player is brown. The dog was brown, the actors were a politically correct mixture of various ethnic groups.
Is the zune marketing demographic blacks and hispanics?
Am I just a redneck Canadian?
Inquiring minds want to know.
enough with the tatoos already
The slogan: “Welcome to the social” will appeal to a lot of people particularly the younger generation. If they can get that into people’s minds, it will make a difference. People may begin to associate the Zune with social and the iPod as being alone. People are social creatures (look at myspace) and want to be in touch with other people. This doesn’t neccessarily mean that the Zune will make them more social, but ads are all about making impressions. If this social/unsocial sticks, it will affect the sale of iPods and Zunes.
Make fun of them all you want, but MS will throw massive money into this project. They do not want Apple to continue to be the media king. I hope that the Zune fails miserably, but that will be seen in the coming months.
EVERYBODY:
A ha AH HAHAHAHHAHAHHAH HAH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!!!
Oh Emm Gee. I think I threw up a little.
Okay, now that we’ve seen the brown squirting, let’s review…
Zune Aads above, compared to Apple’s Lightshow:
http://www.apple.com/ipodnano/ads/
I’ll wait.
Okay, you back? Good.
The Zune ads will not hold the attention of any 17 year olds I know.
I promise.
The not visually appealing, they’re not emotional, and they don’t look like any actual group of people that anyone has ever seen.
They’re forced.
The Lightshow ad is simple, visually stunning, and most importantly…
don’t pretend not to be commercials.
There is also another level to it that people who aren’t 17 and have never heard of raves will not get. (*plur*) But as far as the demographic goes, it’s spot on.
Kids are a whole lot smarter than Microsoft thinks they are.
Let’s watch. ^_^
-c
MW: ‘most’ (people live lives of quiet desperation.)
P.S. – I saw this on a t-shirt in the early 90’s, and for some reason I just thought of it…
“Double your Hard Disk Space. Delete Windows!”
The last one makes the least sense to me. There’s no better way to get close to your woman than by sharing the same headphones. I believe there was an episode of The Office featuring an iPod making precisely this point.
The strapline “welcome to the social” is grating. It makes me think of an ice cream social. Hey MS! How about “Zune: get social” or “let’s get social” or some such thing. You can have those for free.
Whateva, this is a bunch of Apple fanboys so there’s not gonna be any real critique here, is there? I think the “feel” of the commercials is great. They had to find a different angle, and THEY DID. Fortunately for Apple when they show the Zune, all is lost, because those things is ugly. And the Zunes logo sucks too.
I totally agree with PeterJ. No one ever takes his player to a concert or a picnic. People use them while sitting in the bus or waiting(!!!) for a friend or when they are out for a run. But who wants to carry this big thing when running up a hill? Most people buy a nano or a shuffle or (at least in Germany) some small, cheap no-name player to use with lanyard headphones for sports. Why? Because you don’t want to be interrupted but have your me-time. Nothing social about that.
They really are mischaracterizing the way the sharing feature works, aren’t they? If I didn’t know better, I would assume that the sharing feature meant that it would transmit your current song in *real time* to the person you’re sharing it with.
That’s what I’d want, anyway.
I’d want to listen to the song *with* the person, like it seems these people are.
But that’s not the way it works… you just squirt all over your friend and then it’s up to her to sync up with you. But you can’t really ‘sync’, you can just maybe hit play at the same time. You’re not in the same audio space… you’ve become isolated because now you just have 2 audio players with the same music on them. If people really wanted to do it this way they already can, they could just put the same stuff on their iPods. But, by and large, they don’t. Wonder why.
I’m tellin’ ya people.
Barad Dur.
It’s going to be glorious when it falls.
-c
MW: ‘turned’ (to the dark side. they had cookies.)
How very 90s
I’m trying to be objective and view them as an average Joe would. Unfortunately, as a 34 year old male, i find absolutely nothing inspiring about these ads. They do however, resemble the lo-fi look of some current MTV videos I’ve seen lately… Am I just too old to get them? I don’t know, maybe teenagers will relate to them differently.
Wow, this is enough material to do a marketing thesis on what-not-to-do.
Where to begin?
I won’t.
“Nobody cares what you can do”!!! INDEED!!!!
Nobody wants Steve Ballmer’s kiddy porn squirting at us.
I can’t believe the Zunes are shown on the ground. Quick, what’s the website of that blogger that had the picture of the dog crapping as the desktop picture for the Zune? The kid with the Hindenburg/Zune graphic?
Hilarious.
Kudos to whatever iPod/Mac users that intentionally sabotaged this marketing effort. You just know that, as bad as the ads are, Macs were involved somewhere.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”smile” style=”border:0;” />
Somebody should do a parody of people holding actual bricks.
That’s what they look like ugly bricks with a screen.