Five Microsoft Zune TV commercials

The “Zune Insider Blog,” from Cesar Menendez, a Microsoft employee working on Microsoft’s new music project, “Zune,” has posted five TV commercials for Zune that, in our opinion, further pave the way to Zune’s inevitable failure. These five spots all fail on many levels. They are boring, overly obtuse, try way too hard to be “with it,” and fail to inspire any feeling whatsoever of wanting or needing a Zune. These are not good ads. This is not a good advertising campaign. This whole Zune thing is shaping up to become quite the debacle. Zune is “MS Bob” for the 20 Aughts.

We asked our own SteveJack (16-year TV vet) to watch the ads and comment. SteveJack said, “Awful. Truly awful. Where do you want to squirt today?™ When will the rest of the world finally see that Microsoft is a failure masquerading as a success?”

As we’re fond of asking, “What’s brown and squirts?”

Picnic (90-second spot):

Battle (60-second spot):

Concert (30-second spot):

Dog Scratch (15-second spot):

Couple (15-second spot):

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “mango” for the heads up.]

Related articles:
JupiterResearch: Apple’s iPod will dominate for foreseeable future; Microsoft’s Zune insignificant – October 25, 2006
Apple’s taken iPod+iTunes to an entirely different level; iPhone will be like supertrain – October 21, 2006
AP: Apple’s new iPod, iPod nano, iPod shuffle ‘clearly worth the wait’ – October 19, 2006
Apple announces iPod nano (PRODUCT) RED Special Edition, iTunes (PRODUCT) RED gift card – October 13, 2006
Apple iPod games reviewed – October 06, 2006
Mossberg: Apple’s new iPod+iTunes are ‘better products at better prices’ – October 04, 2006
The Washington Post: ‘New competitors can’t measure up to Apple’s iPod’ – September 30, 2006
Computerworld review: ‘Apple’s new iPods are better than ever’ – September 27, 2006
Review: Pac-Man for iPod – September 27, 2006
PC Magazine’s 19th Annual Readers’ Choice Awards for MP3 players: Apple iPod line – September 25, 2006
Thurrott reviews Apple’s iTunes 7: ‘the best software-based media jukebox I’ve ever used’ – September 22, 2006
USA Today reviews new Apple iPod nanos, updated iPods, iTunes 7 (each earns 4 stars out of 4) – September 21, 2006
CNET Editor’s Choice: Apple fifth-gen updated iPod – ‘best, most attractive iPod to date’ – September 20, 2006
Disney sells 125,000 movie downloads via Apple’s iTunes Store in first week – September 19, 2006
PC Magazine review: iTunes 7 ‘Apple’s best effort yet’ (4 stars out of 5) – September 15, 2006
CNET Editor’s Pick: Apple’s new 2G iPod nano – ‘sure to be top choice among wide range of users’ – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Apple ‘s iTunes+iPod+iTV model ‘the gold standard for the digital home of the future’ – September 12, 2006
What’s new in Apple’s iTunes 7 – September 12, 2006
Analyst Gartenberg: Apple ‘s iTunes+iPod+iTV ‘will be hard for other players to match’ – September 12, 2006
Apple debuts iTunes 7 – September 12, 2006
Apple debuts new iPod in 30GB and 80GB with Hollywood movies, games and new lower price – September 12, 2006
Apple intros new iPod nano with new aluminum design in five colors and 24-hour battery life – September 12, 2006
Apple unveils new iPod shuffle: world’s smallest digital music player – September 12, 2006

Ellen DeGeneres Show gives away Microsoft Zunes, studio audience goes berserk – October 23, 2006
More Microsoft Zune myths explored – October 20, 2006
Five more Microsoft Zune myths – October 18, 2006
Microsoft Zune intensifies chaos in Apple iPod+iTunes also-ran market – October 16, 2006
Newsweek Q&A: Apple CEO Steve Jobs discusses iPod’s impact, Microsoft’s Zune, and more – October 15, 2006
Microsoft’s Ballmer: Zune device not money loser, wishes Apple’s 30GB iPod was $299 instead of $249 – October 11, 2006
Microsoft’s consumer electronics track record: long string of failures – October 11, 2006
MP3.com founder: ‘Zune will be an expensive failure for Microsoft because consumers aren’t stupid’ – October 06, 2006
Microsoft fails to secure key Zune domains – October 04, 2006
Microsoft rigs Zune with tricky pricing and proprietary money schemes – October 03, 2006
Why Microsoft’s Zune won’t kill Apple’s iPod – October 03, 2006
10 Apple iPod vs. Microsoft Zune myths – October 02, 2006
Analyst: Zune could lead to ‘civil war’ between Microsoft and Windows Media partners – September 29, 2006
Thurrott on Microsoft’s Zune: ‘The makings of a disaster, what the heck are these people thinking?’ – September 29, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft Zune’s as good as dead on arrival – September 28, 2006
Microsoft sets 30GB Zune price at $249.99 – September 28, 2006
How Microsoft’s Zune can kill Apple’s iPod – September 21, 2006
Microsoft’s Zune insanity – September 21, 2006
The Microsoft Zune 1.0 dud – September 20, 2006
Microsoft’s underwhelming Zune a ‘viral DRM’ device – September 18, 2006
SanDisk teams with RealNetworks against new common foe: Microsoft Zune – September 18, 2006
Creative does Apple’s dirty work by immediately attacking Microsoft’s Zune – September 17, 2006
Motley Fool’s Jayson: Microsoft’s ‘just plain ugly’ Zune a meager offering, not an iPod killer – September 15, 2006
What’s in a name? ‘Zune’ a French-Canadian euphemism for penis or vagina – September 15, 2006
Crave at CNET: ‘Microsoft Zune, all the excitement that brown can bring’ – September 15, 2006
Microsoft’s Zune underwhelms – September 15, 2006
Enderle: Microsoft Zune ‘a design mistake’ – September 15, 2006
Microsoft hypocrisy exposed with Zune: What ever happened to ‘choice?’ – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft Zune with fake scroll wheel ‘hardly an Apple iPod killer’ – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft Zune won’t spoil Apple’s biggest iPod Christmas ever – September 14, 2006
Microsoft unveils Zune 30GB player, Zune Marketplace; declines to disclose prices – September 14, 2006
Analyst: Microsoft’s Zune an ‘underwhelming’ repackaged Toshiba Gigabeat; no threat to Apple iPod – August 30, 2006
Microsoft confirms brick-like Zune to be made by Toshiba – August 25, 2006
Microsoft Zune is chunky brick made by Toshiba – August 25, 2006
Microsoft to spend hundreds of millions, several years on Zune trying to catch Apple iPod+iTunes – July 27, 2006
Zune: Apple cannot lose. Microsoft cannot win. – July 26, 2006

150 Comments

  1. They almost remind me of the first artsy car and perfume commercials from the early nineties. Hard to tell what it’s about. That will appear to some, I suppose because it’s “like totally counterculture, man…”

    “… Dude…

  2. wow those are HORRIBLE.
    I mean I was kinda impressed with the xbox 360 commercials but these real suck on so many levels, maybe it is a targeted market thing and I am not with it but still, yuck.
    also really you need to stop with the whole brown and squirts thing it is just really repulsive.
    funny, but please stop

  3. Compare that to the original iPod commercial where he is listening on the Computer, then leaves the apartment with the iPod on…high energy, looks like it is fun.

    these people look bored and the music tracks are slow and painful.

    Why would you bring your Zune to a concert? Wouldn’t you want to hear the artist perform?

  4. These have no cool factor. The only people that will notice these and sit through them will be grandparents. I guess they may need an mp3 player. Seriously I hate the slogan “Welcome to the social”. MS sux, they will sell some but will never get any marrketshare from Apple. They will beat out the small timers and that is it.

  5. What we’re there is the world gathering of Zune owners.. All of them. They think it’s great that they can squirt at each other. And there you have the loser that DIDN’T buy a Zune, but got into the action by picking up his dog and squirting someone else. Works the same way for the same purpose I guess…

    This is actually foreshadowing…

    Zune owners will have to put ads in papers, craigslist, and blogs to get people all in one area so that they can squirt music at
    eachother. Because they will never run into eachother in the wild.

    And even if you did see some one huddled over their Zune on the bus, would you really want to get close enough to be able to share music with someone hunched up in a ball trying to watch a movie on what, from fifteen feet away, looks like he’s coveting a dog turd?

  6. Not much connection between the onscreen action and the product. What a horrible color scheme for the commercials and the product – ick!

    Objectively these commercials come across as trying real hard to be hip, cool, whatever. Typical MS corn. I don’t see these commercials inspiring anybody to buy the Zune, but perhaps the real question for MS is, will they actually inhibit anyone from the Zune?

  7. Interesting.

    What I noticed was how many transitions there were. The video was fast paced. So fast that you loose track of what’s happening. There’s no single story, just a bunch of people. Take these ads and compare to the iPod ads and see how it’s different. In the iPod ads, Apple uses very few people, and much better visuals.

    Do you remember that spoof on if Microsoft marketed the iPod? The one where they over did the packaging. Well, it looks like it’s coming true, at least for the TV spots, so far.

  8. oh…. come on. just think about it second. when you listen to music, nobody like commmercial especially with compact mp3 player. plus, the wilress share music is not going to happen like you expect. it’s wasted. commercials are just wrong. even when you are with lover, or girl friend, will you put earbud on your ears? if she talks to you? total concept of socialization is missed for what kind of product commercial. they’re all like PBS AD.

  9. Who wants to take bets that Microshaft will “take a page”(maybe the whole book) from Apple’s playbook on commercials:

    “Hello, I’m a Zune. And I’m an iPod…”

    I’m not sure how much “brown squirting” they can do on prime time TV, but it might just work

    ” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”tongue laugh” style=”border:0;” />

  10. They’re good enough commercials, definitely appeal to the younger crowd (though I don’t know the last time me and my friends breakdanced in the middle of a park…)

    The problem?

    They’re only showing one feature… sharing.

    And really, what else differentiates this player from the iPod?

    When the iPod was released, it had a whole bunch of new features, and it continues to build on them today. The Zune? Only has the wireless sharing feature to call its own, and it’s fragile at best, considering terms of use and other people using Zunes.

    Good try, though. It’s going to be interesting, nonetheless…

  11. Picnic: Love the beastiality innuendos. Yes real dog balls, licking. Lots of crotch shots and typical American style, no pussy to be found for miles except for the one licking and foreplaying the dog. No wonder so many of you yanks are off to war. They should make an Iraq commercial for Zune.

    Battle: Yup, people prefer vynil and live rock concerts except for the two losers who can’t get inside and have to listen to Zune. Love the “Seig Heil” symbolism and the total lack of pussy on the stage.

    Concert: I see two girls got those zunes from the losers in the battle commercial. They try it, then one climbs on stage to be with a live musicians. Now there is a winner (she dropped the Zune for someone who can crank out a tune).

    Dog Scratch: I sure got the message, “find your audience” the zune should go well with gay dog f**kers.

    Couple: Now this is a powerful commercial. What will the guy (obviously a soldier cause of the hat) do???? Stay with the blind babe or go to war to Iraq. Decisions decisions, will he be able to take his Zune there?

    Great commercials, with a lot of appeal to the market they are targeting, hoping to win the battle and kill the enemy. At least we know that if the Zune doesn’t sell well the enrollments to Iraq will go waaaaaaay up.

Reader Feedback

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.