“Isn’t it painful watching the U.S. teams get beaten in a game that we used to own? And I’m not talking about basketball or golf; I’m talking automobiles,” Dale Dauten writes for King Features Syndicate.
“The U.S. auto brands are running up a historic losing streak. Where will it end? Project it out on a graph, and the U.S. auto industry is . . . is . . . wait a minute, where did it go? Oh, there it is – on the carpet,” Dauten writes. “Could the American auto industry disappear? Impossible. But then, that’s what I would have said about American brands of televisions a couple of decades ago.”
Dauten writes, “We need a hero, a giant. I don’t think the new guy who’s going to run Ford is the one, but let’s hope. (Alan Mulally is from Boeing, which is not a hopeful sign. If you want to make a Pinto seem like a bit of heaven, get into one after coming off an airplane.) No, we need Steve Jobs to start an auto company. Hey, Steve, come on. You’re probably a bit bored with Macs and iPods and Pixar, so give it a shot. I’ll place an order for one of your cars right upfront, and I bet there are plenty of others like me.”
Dauten writes, “I’m begging you, Steve Jobs, to start a car company. You understand that it’s not about being the cheapest; it’s about being the coolest by being the most functional and a joy to use. We need less Detroit and more California, and you’re the one for the job. I don’t want a Gates or a Trump; I want a Jobs. Let me know, and I’ll send a deposit check.”
Full article here.
MacDailyNews Take: No better time than now to trot out the old chestnut (slightly updated):
If Microsoft Built Cars…
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you’d have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this too.
4. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive–but most people wouldn’t know it or believe it.
5. Apple car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.
6. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single “General Car Fault” warning light.
7. People would get excited about the “new” features in Microsoft cars, not knowing that they had been available in Apple’s cars for many years.
8. Microsoft cars would come with 5-year-old Apple car paint jobs, but they’d be the same crappy Microsoft car underneath.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you’d have no idea what happened.
There are more, but we’ll spare you.