Business writer begs Apple CEO Steve Jobs to start a car company

“Isn’t it painful watching the U.S. teams get beaten in a game that we used to own? And I’m not talking about basketball or golf; I’m talking automobiles,” Dale Dauten writes for King Features Syndicate.

“The U.S. auto brands are running up a historic losing streak. Where will it end? Project it out on a graph, and the U.S. auto industry is . . . is . . . wait a minute, where did it go? Oh, there it is – on the carpet,” Dauten writes. “Could the American auto industry disappear? Impossible. But then, that’s what I would have said about American brands of televisions a couple of decades ago.”

Dauten writes, “We need a hero, a giant. I don’t think the new guy who’s going to run Ford is the one, but let’s hope. (Alan Mulally is from Boeing, which is not a hopeful sign. If you want to make a Pinto seem like a bit of heaven, get into one after coming off an airplane.) No, we need Steve Jobs to start an auto company. Hey, Steve, come on. You’re probably a bit bored with Macs and iPods and Pixar, so give it a shot. I’ll place an order for one of your cars right upfront, and I bet there are plenty of others like me.”

Dauten writes, “I’m begging you, Steve Jobs, to start a car company. You understand that it’s not about being the cheapest; it’s about being the coolest by being the most functional and a joy to use. We need less Detroit and more California, and you’re the one for the job. I don’t want a Gates or a Trump; I want a Jobs. Let me know, and I’ll send a deposit check.”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: No better time than now to trot out the old chestnut (slightly updated):

If Microsoft Built Cars…
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you’d have to buy a new car.
2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason, and you’d have to restart it. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you’d have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you’d just accept this too.
4. Apple would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive–but most people wouldn’t know it or believe it.
5. Apple car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to their cars which would make their cars go much slower.
6. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single “General Car Fault” warning light.
7. People would get excited about the “new” features in Microsoft cars, not knowing that they had been available in Apple’s cars for many years.
8. Microsoft cars would come with 5-year-old Apple car paint jobs, but they’d be the same crappy Microsoft car underneath.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10. If you were involved in a crash, you’d have no idea what happened.

There are more, but we’ll spare you.

44 Comments

  1. RE: “it’s about being the coolest by being the most functional and a joy to use.”

    uh, they’re called BMW, Volvo, Mercedes, etc…

    While not “American” companies, more of these cars are manufactured/ assembled in the US than US models these days.

  2. 11. Sometimes slamming on the breaks will stop the cars. Other times the car will instead accelerate
    12. To start the engine you would have to open the door and pretend you are leaving
    13. To stop the engine you would have to turn the ignition key, get in 1st gear and accelerate all at same time

  3. Why would he need to “start” a car company? With its current bank account, Apple could probably buy (or become the majority shareholder in) a smaller car company and make “Apple cars.” Actually, there are no “small” US car makers, so they should make a deal with GM and Toyota to use part of the capacity of the NUMMI plant in nearby (to Cupertino) Frement, CA.

    That would be pretty cool, actually.

  4. Yes image (branding) goes a long way in selling a product but first you need a quality product. Honestly I just don’t believe American cars are of the same quality as most of the foreign cars. I have several friends who need to buy a new American car after 5 or 6 years because of the start of some major problems. I on the other hand am still driving my 12 year old poor man’s Lexus (94 Toyota Camry) which does have a few minor problems – but the engine and transmission are still going strong.

    Peace.

  5. If apple made cars:

    1. You could only fuel up with Apple Gas @ Apple Brand Gas Stations (due to use of a mag-safe fuel nozzle system)
    2. If someone made allow rims for your car, they’ve have to pay a royalty to Apple.
    3. A few people who drive them would incur road rage from other cars, because of zealotry and arrogance.
    4. While doing some intensive task, your beachball-coloured icon on the dash would start spinning and you couldn’t operate any other program without waiting until it was done.
    5. It would have a really powerful engine, but since it would overheat in their subcompact cars, they’d switch to the tried and true INTErnaL Combustion… Apple would pass this switch as a Good thing.
    6. It would be available in one color and design. white, minimalist. You could pay more for black though.
    7. The Steering wheel wouldn’t turn. (It’s a touch-sensitive click wheel)
    8. If the car is idling for too long it would go into sleep mode. To wake it up you’d have to hope you didn’t have any non-apple electronic things like a stereo… or you’d have to restart the car.
    9. There would only be one pedal. Gas. To brake you hold down the command button on the click steering wheel and stomp on the gas. (Two pedals is too hard to figure out)
    10. Beachball coloured Airbags

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