PC Mag’s Louderback: Windows chumps, don’t be suckers for Apple’s ‘Boot Camp’ trojan horse

“Don’t get too excited about the whole Mac/Windows dual-boot thing,” Jim Louderback writes for PC Magazine. “…It’s really nothing to get excited about. Here are my top reasons why—at least to real computer users—’Boot Chump’ is a snore.”

Louderback’s list:
Design: The more effete among us have embraced BC because now they can run all their favorite Windows apps on a saucy, sexy Mac. The underlying assertion embraced here is that Apple machines are just so much cooler than their PC counterparts. Hogwash.
Performance: Some idiot wrote recently that “Apple now makes the fastest Windows machines on the planet.” What was I thinking? Now that the meds have worn off, let’s take a closer look at how fast these BC machines really are. Sure, they run a Photoshop benchmark test as fast as or faster than Windows dedicated machines. But throw in anything needing fast graphics and you’re SOL. The dual-core Mac mini uses shared memory for its anemic graphics, which will seriously eat into that default 512MB of RAM.
Expandability: Sure, a Mac that runs Windows looks good on paper. But how do you know that that expensive scanner, graphics card, or sound device will actually work on a BC system? To be fair, USB and FireWire devices that work in Windows ought to work under BC. But what about add-in cards? That legacy SCSI adapter that you just can’t quit? Until we have an Intel-based Mac tower we have no clue what will work.
Reliability: I don’t know about you, but when I buy a computer I want everything to work right.
Flexibility: Speaking of building computers, if you like building your own computers, you are out of luck again. Apple’s not interested in a DIY Mac, nor is it concerned with the case-mod culture of the PC. Oh, I guess that doesn’t matter; lemming-like Apple fans aren’t interested in actually doing anything different with their cookie-cutter computers that aspire to “Think Different” but, like that old Pete Seeger song about little boxes, “all look just the same.”
Price: After you’ve already been overcharged for a Mac, you need to spend another hundred dollars or so buying Windows, just for the privilege of tainting the Apple core with Microsoft’s OS. You’ll probably need more memory, too. Is it really worth all that extra money? From where I sit, no—but a fool and his money have always been quickly parted.

Louderback writes, “‘Boot Chump’ is just a Trojan horse, designed to get Windows users (aka chumps) to sample Macintosh hardware. Once you’ve laid out a few kilobucks on your BC system and been frustrated a few times with Windows limitations, what are you going to do? Jobs’s bet: You’ll start spending more and more time in OS X, until you—too—become one of the pod people. It’s sad to see so many of my compatriots being turned into lemmings. Perhaps they’ll wake up and smell the Apple pie in the sky—and realize they’ve been taken for a ride. But I doubt it. Because I’m a firm believer that once you start using a Mac, your IQ begins to creep downwards, inversely proportional to an increase in your AAF (Apple Acceptance Factor)… So go ahead and Boot Camp if you must. But don’t come running to me when your mind and body prematurely degenerate. I’ll be smart, fit, and enjoying my real Windows computers, while you ooze slowly into the Pixar-Disney-ABC swamp of mindlessness. Chump.”

Full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: Hilarious! Those who enjoy satire have got to read the whole excellent article.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Suddha Satta Ray” for the heads up.]

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74 Comments

  1. I used to work with Jim at TechTV and he is by far the biggest asshole on the planet. Don’t take a word he says seriously.

    He was too involved with himself and how hot his wife is, to make any relevant statements about the computer industry.

  2. “MacDailyNews Take: Hilarious! Those who enjoy satire have got to read the whole excellent article.”

    are you kidding me mdn??!? louderback is a well known mac basher. this is not a satire piece, he his dead serious. i remember him from the techtv days of bashing macs, and this is actually pretty mellow compared to what he used to say.

  3. “I don’t know about you, but when I buy a computer I want everything to work right.”

    Um, hey dumbass Louderback. Thats why people buy Macs to begin with.

    “The dual-core Mac mini uses shared memory for its anemic graphics, which will seriously eat into that default 512MB of RAM.”

    Funny how no one in the PC world would allow that to be used as an argument of Macs being superior over PC’s until Apple started doing it.

    “Apple’s not interested in a DIY Mac,”

    yeah because Apple knows their market, and that market is people who would rather actually use their computer to DO actual stuff with, not spend time working uber the hood. Mac users would rather race their cars, not rebuild the transmission all the time.

    ” just for the privilege of tainting the Apple core with Microsoft’s OS”

    At least he got that right, even if that comment is surrounded by paragraphs of ridiculous commentary.

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