“Tech pundits and other media weasels have been falling all over themselves in the race to describe the recent ‘Mac virus’ scandal in the purplest possible prose. Meanwhile, much of the Mac-centric community has bent over backwards to deny that there’s anything to get excited about, some even saying the recent events don’t technically rise to the level of a true “virus attack” in the geektionary sense of the term,” macinquirer writes.
“The Inquirer thinks the truth lies somewhere in the middle: Attempted hack attacks on the Mac are likely to increase with the growing popularity of the platform. This doesn’t mean they’ll be successful attacks. Still, hackers do love them some publicity, and the schadenfreude of some in the PC press over Macs being allegedly pulled down off their virus-free pedestal has proven that, should there ever be a hAXx0rOU812-type who actually does some real Windows-strength damage on Macs, he/she is in for the Mother Of All Myth-Making Press Frenzies,” macinquirer writes. “In the interest of context, and with a little help from our way-smarter friends over at Wikipedia, we humbly present the Macinquirer Short Attention Span Guide to Viruses and Junk…”
Full article here.
Advertisements:
• MacBook Pro. The first Mac notebook built upon Intel Core Duo with iLife ’06, Front Row and built-in iSight. Starting at $1999. Free shipping.
• iMac. Twice as amazing — Intel Core Duo, iLife ’06, Front Row media experience, Apple Remote, built-in iSight. Starting at $1299. Free shipping.
• iMac and MacBook Pro owners: Apple USB Modem. Easily connect to the Internet using dial-up service. Only $49.
• iPod Radio Remote. Listen to FM radio on your iPod and control everything with a convenient wired remote. Just $49.
• iPod. 15,000 songs. 25,000 photos. 150 hours of video. The new iPod. 30GB and 60GB models start at just $299. Free shipping.
• Connect iPod to your television set with the iPod AV Cable. Just $19.
Related articles:
Wired News: ‘Mac attack a load of crap’ – February 22, 2006
Report: Apple developing fix for automatic execution of shell scripts – February 21, 2006
Ars Technica: Fears over new Mac OS X ‘Leap-A’ trojan pointless – February 20, 2006
Datamonitor: ‘Mac OS is just as vulnerable to malware as Windows’ – February 20, 2006
Atlanta Journal-Constitution asks: Is ‘Mac virus’ all just propaganda from Mac haters? – February 20, 2006
– Jobs comes out, sees shadow, six more weeks of bad product speculation
Excellent line to end the story. Funny stuff.
MAC OS X is inheritly more secure than windows by design.
there was always going to come a day when there would be a virus for os x, but really all this latest blown out of proportion debacle does is keep apple on its toes. they should take security seriously, and i think they do.
but the safari and mail hiccups show that they can do more.
we’ve got it very good at the moment.
now THAT’S funny! and informative too. more so-called tech journalists should read it.
may be beyond their ability to comprehend, tho’.
is actually able to use the Internet, then I’ll worry. None of the recent “viruses” (real and imagined) can.
” I’d Rather Hunt with Dick Cheney Than Ride With Ted Kennedy.”
There is no connection but it is a funny bumper sticker.
I thought I’d share it.
And the “The Idiot’s Guide to Windows Viruses For Dummies 101” was written by a swimsuit model named Melissa. You can get nekkid pictures of her by opening e-mail attachments. No, seriously. Pass it on.
“l33t haXX0r”
The reason why so many dermatologists are so wealthy.
The Idiot’s Guide to Mac Viruses For Dummies 101
Lets dissect this statement.
There’s a class called “Mac Viruses for Dummies: 101”
Since there are no Mac viruses, only a dummy can beleive there is one. Thus there is no class.
Now there is a Guide to this class, which doesn’t exist, which naturally only a Idiot would need a Guide.
Got it.
The guide would be one sentence long and would read there are no viruses for OSX, DUH!!
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”LOL” style=”border:0;” />
“The Inquirer thinks the truth lies somewhere in the middle…”
Would that the above banal truism be stricken from memory. Vile lollipop wisdom that it is.
“Vile lolipop wisdom?” We like that. A lot. In fact, with your permission, we may use it ourselves someday.
” width=”19″ height=”19″ alt=”wink” style=”border:0;” />
The Inquirer is squarely in the camp of “this current ‘Mac virus’ thing is a buncha overblown booshwah.” Still, we stand by our point that Evil Hackers are completely unable to resist the temptation to be, y’know, evil. Especially when a more-or-less clueless media is only too happy to massage their ego by drawing flawed conclusions from a tenuous grasp on the facts of the situation, and then trumpeting the resulting info-turds to The World At Large.
(Hmm. What do you guys think about “info-turds of vile lolipop wisdom?” No wait — that’s gross.)
Humanity has demonstrated an amazing capacity for original thinking when it comes to doing something they’re told not to do. And given the helpful “what if” scenarios being laid out in the press (abetted by the PR staff of the anti-virus software publishers), it’s entirely possible that somebody somewhere, someday will put together a piece of malware that will dent the Mac’s thus-far unpenetrated Cloak of Invulnerability. (Please note our use of the words “possible,” “someday,” “unpenetrated,” and “dent.”)
To reiterate the thurst of our article: There are NO Mac viruses in the wild. But clueless media reports are waving a red cape in the face of the haXX0rs of the world. To suggest that we’re immune to hack attacks forever-and-ever-amen indicates a confidence we personally are not willing to display.
Keep in mind that the point of our piece was to entertain, not serve as a serious guide to Mac security. We intended the drooling redundancy of the article’s title to make it clear that it was a spoof.
Stay classy. But mostly, thanks for stopping by.
best,
Macinquirer
Personally, I dont think Macs dont have much of a threat of getting viruses. Most Mac users are technologically proficient and will most likely help keep Mac’s security top notch by contributing to the update of the OS, unlike MS. You have to be in the club to even attempt to help update MS’s OS. PCs are for the layman majority, and theres a lot of room for some sadistic dolt to make a virus just to prove his superiority to the layman. Plus, PCs are like Hondas. A majority of people have them and theyre easy to get to, or get.
I only hope Apple wont start being greedy and shutting people out. and I hope Apple stops bragging about Mac’s superiority. Theyll draw attention to themselves, like how a dancing monkey will inevitably draw the attention of a tiger.