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Beleaguered Dell breaks customer’s laptop, sends replacement full of pubes

Thursday, April 10, 2008 - 04:08 PM EDT

From the "you-can't-make-this-stuff-up-nor-would-you-want-to" file:

The Consumerist reports, "Reader K's call to Dell tech support for his laptop resulted in the tech helping him break a different computer, then sending him a replacement laptop full of human pubic hair. After diagnosing a faulty power adapter with K's laptop, the Dell technician asked him to plug the malfunctioning adapter into his other, out-of-warranty Dell to confirm the problem. K was reluctant, but complied, and fried his old laptop in the process. To their credit, Dell offered a replacement; unfortunately, it had a full bush."

I reach the bottom of the box, pull out the laptop, and first thing I see is the top is covered in scratches. Some people may say that I should be happy since I was getting a newer model laptop to replace an old laptop with no warranty. My old laptop, however, was in great condition. When I opened up the new laptop, I saw the screen was scratched and dirty, and the keyboard was covered in debris. Wait, not debris....what is that? HAIRS!? Not just any hairs - these could only be described as pubes. I hate to be so crude, but pubes are pubes. Not the incidental curly hair, but rather mini-tufts between the keys. My only guess is that Ron Jeremy was the previous owner.

Full article with a photo of crappy Dell laptop sprouting pubes here.

[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader "Wealthy Industrialite" for the heads up.]

MacDailyNews Take: Vomitous.

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Apr 10, 08 - 04:12 pm Comment from: macaholic

Dude! You're getting a pube!

Apr 10, 08 - 04:13 pm Comment from: IEEE1394®

@ macaholic

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

ROTFLLMMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Apr 10, 08 - 04:15 pm Comment from: Lurker_PC

That's just plain disgusting.

And the hairs are gross too.

Peace.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:16 pm Comment from: John

Crap, just think, it could be from Mr. Dell him self.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:16 pm Comment from: J. Scott

Best laugh of the day! God that was funny!

Apr 10, 08 - 04:17 pm Comment from: dd

Hahahahahahahahaha! That made my day! Thanks, MDN.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:19 pm Comment from: Fitz

Best MDN headline ever.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:19 pm Comment from: John

The cheep plastic could have a "hair line crack" ha ha

Apr 10, 08 - 04:25 pm Comment from: freebeer

Dell is simply trying to be green and save a few bucks by using new biodegradable packaging material...

Apr 10, 08 - 04:26 pm Comment from: TowerTone

Shockingly crappy! I would not want my laptop dicked with!!!?

Apr 10, 08 - 04:27 pm Comment from: MacDave

Hair today, and it'll still suck tomorrow.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:31 pm Comment from: ron

John, "The cheep plastic could have a "hair line crack" ha ha"

Cheep plastic? That must be the plastic they use to make Easter eggs that have little fluffy chicks in them. Maybe the hair was chick (the other kind) hair. Ho Ho.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:32 pm Comment from: hagar57

Somebody must've tried whether Dell laptops really suck.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:34 pm Comment from: Jazzman

I compared the hairs in the photo with my own pubic region and found a difference: mine have a much tighter wind, while the ones in the photo look more like hair from a curly-haired head (the one above the eyes).

Apr 10, 08 - 04:36 pm Comment from: Hairy Guy

I guess some people just love their Dells...

Apr 10, 08 - 04:40 pm Comment from: Demon

Pubic hair? It's a Dell Dude! more likely butt crack, underarm, back and/or chest hair. After all the Dell Dude had to dump all that body hair somewhere.
I'd also be sending Dell the hair palm laptop back along with a bill for my trauma and bio hazard exposure check-ups for the next year or so.

Apr 10, 08 - 04:47 pm Comment from: Logan

That.
Is.
Disgusting.

I have to admit, I am a little skeptical, but if this is true, this guy deserves the nicest, most pimped out laptop Dell can muster as a peace-offering.

Unfortunately, it still wouldn't be a Mac...

Apr 10, 08 - 04:50 pm Comment from: Danno Bonano

Well now I know what the XPS stands for in Dell's Laptop and Desktop Lines:

eXtra PubeS.

'nuff saidn

Apr 10, 08 - 04:56 pm Comment from: barry

Ampar:

I'm waiting....

Apr 10, 08 - 04:56 pm Comment from: William

Dell is a pubicly traded company.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:00 pm Comment from: BiZarRo BaLlmEr

Dude, you need a bikini wax

Apr 10, 08 - 05:00 pm Comment from: dell-icious

i thought you americans loved bush? no?

Apr 10, 08 - 05:02 pm Comment from: Petey

XD

Classic!

ROFL!!!

Dell's build quality gets better!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:02 pm Comment from: roflol

wonder if it came from the plant that dell is closing in austin, tx. people losing their jobs do funny things. LOL

Apr 10, 08 - 05:02 pm Comment from: Tommy Boy

That's what employees do when you tell 'em they're gonna be without a job. They just stop caring.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:03 pm Comment from: Mr. Reeee

Thanks everyone!

My cheap laugh quota is filled for the next week!

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:05 pm Comment from: Beryllium

@dell-icious
Lower case yes! The capitalized kind, no!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:07 pm Comment from: Your Mom Bluray

Dell - Land of Bush

literarily

Apr 10, 08 - 05:08 pm Comment from: iLuvMyMacs

<< I have to admit, I am a little skeptical, but if this is true, this guy deserves the nicest, most pimped out laptop Dell can muster as a peace-offering. >>

Dell should buy him a Macbook Hair ... Oh- I mean Macbook Air.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:11 pm Comment from: RonnyFan

Like...Ron Jeremy has been my one and only idol for as long as I remember, he said in a documentary that he gives hope to ugly men with respect to getting sex from women, which is SO true.

I think RJ would make an excellent president of the US

Apr 10, 08 - 05:11 pm Comment from: jim

great, now make fun of hairy people. I am sure there was more, but they did their best to get the stuff off of it. Maybe it was a leased machine from a video porn website

Apr 10, 08 - 05:14 pm Comment from: wings2sky

All these comments and not one Clarence Thomas/ Anita Hill reference?
Am I that old?

MDW - include as in "include a pube on your coke can"

Apr 10, 08 - 05:14 pm Comment from: Jim - TIV

Michael Dell just sent him his sloppy seconds

Apr 10, 08 - 05:15 pm Comment from: ldrhawke

What do they say about never buying a car made on a Friday? Obvious never buy a computer from a manufacturer that is shutting down US manufacturing plants and moving them out of the country!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:15 pm Comment from: Ron Jeremy

I never owned a Dell....

Apr 10, 08 - 05:19 pm Comment from: Macromancer

What's worse, the laptop or the pubes?

Apr 10, 08 - 05:19 pm Comment from: Gil

Is he going to use the hair samples as DNA evidence.....

Apr 10, 08 - 05:19 pm Comment from: amyhre

Man, I've heard of cybersex but is this really how it's done? Now that I think about it, my PowerBook is sexy and all, but even though I don't have a girlfriend right now, I've never tried to hump it. This takes fanboyism to a "hole" new level.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:22 pm Comment from: Demon

Maybe Michael Dell just needed to get something off his chest!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:22 pm Comment from: Jim - TIV

(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)

Did it at least come with porn pre-installed?

Apr 10, 08 - 05:23 pm Comment from: Jim - TIV

(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)

This is what Michael Dell calls a hair raising experience...

Apr 10, 08 - 05:25 pm Comment from: Jim - TIV

(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)

What Michael Dell REALLY said about Apple so long ago was...

"Sell the stock and give the money back to the hair-holders"

Apr 10, 08 - 05:26 pm Comment from: Rainer

That's really, really, really gross.
Can you imagine something like this happening at Apple?
I bought a refurbished iMac for my parents and it was really like new.
The only exception was that it didn't have the advertised 1 GB RAM but 2 GB
I hope they find the guy responsible for that and instead of just firing him, they should wax his whole body (and then fire him)
That'll teach him.

Thinking about it, this guy must really be an IQ-equal-shoesize-idiot because you can do a DNA-test on all that hair and pin him down pretty quickly.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:28 pm Comment from: Jim - TIV

(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)

Dell's New Company Slogan...

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:29 pm Comment from: LateRegistrant

Now there's an article that I will NOT be combing through.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:33 pm Comment from: Jim - TIV

(Sitting In For Ampar While He Writes Something More Creative)

Dell now offers a brazilian wax for your laptop with every downgrade from Vista!

Apr 10, 08 - 05:37 pm Comment from: Jubei

Well I guess the good news it was just pube hair. Perhaps next time it might be "ass hair"? YUCK! LOL

Apr 10, 08 - 05:38 pm Comment from: Macintosh

You think that's bad...

Just imagine how disgusted he would have been if they shipped him a new laptop that had Vista pre-loaded on it.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:39 pm Comment from: mike k.

i must say that as far as ways to quit a job with panache, this stunt requires a fairly large set of balls.

Apr 10, 08 - 05:39 pm Comment from: R5D4

That explains why the shipping box was marked "Handle With Hair".

Guess I better keep my day job.

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Mon, May 12, 2008 - 10:58 PM EDT — AAPL: 188.16 (+4.71, +2.57%) | NASDAQ: $data[1] ($data[4], $percent)"; //close the filehandle $fp fclose ($fp); ?>

Beleaguered Dell breaks customer’s laptop, sends replacement full of pubes

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