“Apple is finally growing up,” Marcus Wohlsen writes for Wired. “For years, guided by Steve Jobs’ firm hand and relentless vision, the company minted breakthrough after breakthrough. When gadgets appeared from behind Apple’s tightly guarded walls, they were so fully realized, it was hard to remember what life was like without them. But now that Jobs is gone, things have changed. Going years without introducing something radically new, Apple’s famously insular culture has started to look parochial.”

MacDailyNews Take:

• iPhone was released 5 years, 7 months, and 19 days after iPod.
• iPad was released 2 years, 9 months, and 5 days after iPhone.
• Tim Cook has been Apple CEO for 2 years, 8 months, and 16 days.

“That’s why Apple’s reported plans to buy headphone maker Beats for $3.2 billion — as yet unconfirmed by either company — seem like a big step forward,” Wohlsen writes. “The fanboys may bellow that the only real Apple product is hardware Apple makes itself. But the sign of real adulthood is asking for help when you need it. And that’s what Apple would appear to be doing here.”

MacDailyNews Take: Well, whatdayaknow, August came early this year.

“Unlike Google’s purchase of Nest — which carried the same price tag reported by The Financial Times — the fit between Apple and Beats is obvious. Apple’s bestselling product is the iPhone. You plug headphones into an iPhone. Done. But the connection is far more than functional. Beats took a totally banal hardware category, the headphone, and built a stunningly compelling brand — and not by going the audiophile nerd route of ‘my headphones sound better than yours.’ Instead, through a mix of design and marketing smarts, they made headphones cool again,” Wohlsen writes. “If Apple needs anything now, it’s coolness.”

Read more bullshit in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: “If Apple needs anything now, it’s coolness?” Seriously? As with his factually incorrect assertion that Apple is going any longer between revolutions than they would have under Steve Jobs, the evidence stands in stark contrast to Wohlsen’s statement:

• Sight unseen: 17% of U.S. teens would pay $350 for an Apple iWatch – April 8, 2014
• 61% of U.S. teens surveyed own an Apple iPhone, up from 55% just three months ago – April 8, 2014
• 67% of U.S. teens expect their next phone to be an Apple iPhone – April 8, 2014
66% of U.S. teens who want a tablet plan to get an Apple iPad – April 8, 2014

Amidst the excrement, at least Wohlsen got one thing right: Beats isn’t about quality sound. As we wrote yesterday, Beats is a triumph of marketing over sound quality.

The following video, “Dr Dre On His Way To Being The First Hip Hop Billionaire: Dre & Tyrese Announce Apple Buying Beats For $3.2 Billion,” contains language that may not be safe for work (NSFW), depending on where you work:

Related articles:
Why would Apple want to blow $3.2 billion on Beats Electronics? – May 8, 2014
Apple in talks to buy Beats Electronics for $3.2 billion – May 8, 2014