“Microsoft’s Steve Ballmer bid farewell to employees [yesterday] at his final company meeting as CEO,” Tom Warren reports for The Verge.
“At one point during the meeting, Ballmer chose to play the song he used back at his first company meeting in 1983: Michael Jackson’s ‘Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’.’ He then proceeded to jump and dance around the stage screaming at the top of his voice ‘the sound of Microsoft!'” Warren reports. “fter the song ended, an emotional Ballmer paused to ‘enjoy this for a minute,’ with tears visibly streaming down his face. ‘You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.'”
Steve Ballmer
MacDailyNews Take: “Soak it in… because, as a result of my comprehensive ineptitude, the pink slips start flying as soon as my ass is safely out the door!”
“The greatest company in the world… for sowing rampant frustration within anyone suffering with their products, for creating backstabbing workplace politicians, and for deeply offending those with even a modicum of good taste.
Warren reports, “According to sources familiar with the meeting, Ballmer told employees ‘we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.'”
MacDailyNews Take: Microsoft changed the world once, for the worse, by knocking off Apple’s Mac OS, taking advantage of a poorly-written contract, and then plunging the globe into The Dark Age of Personal Computing. Thanks to yet another Apple Renaissance, it’s finally ending, you big dumb monkey.
Microsoft short-timer Steve Ballmer
Do not “change the world again,” Microsoft. Newsflash: You suck. Your company is beleaguered. That’s why your board of somnambulant morons are now searching for someone stupid enough to be your next CEO and why nobody with at least half a brain is buying your crap anymore.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews readers too numerous to mention individually for the heads up.]
The funniest quote from his speech
He also took a swipe at rivals, declaring that Apple is about being “fashionable,” Amazon.com is about being “cheap,” Google is about “knowing more,” but Microsoft is about “doing more.”
This must mean Microsoft needs to be unfashionable, expensive and stupid. Sounds about right.
If you follow the link to the full article, you will be flabbergasted by some of the comments. Some people actually believe that Ballmer was a great and visionary CEO…visionary “in spades.”
I want to see the “Sound of Microsoft” video. Post it!
What do you expect? The Verge headline for reviews about the iPhone 5s was that they were “lukewarm”. A MS fanboy site of the first order.
I too read all those amazing praise Ballmer comments, and just though it was astounding. If they were not paid comments, I wondered what rock these people have been living under in Redmond. It also makes me think that if all that praise is sincere, then even with Ballmer gone there is hope that the downslide will likely continue due to that many delusional people still being employed there.
Their next big thing will be steaming hot and zune coloured.
The entire PC industry is set as low cost marginal equipment. The dominate hardware mfg’s inevitably became low budget operations. R&D all squeezed along the way. That’s why their early entries into phones and tablets were colossal failures. Everyone thought it had to be cheap, and thus the products were cheaply made, poorly thought out, and not made appealing to customers in any way. Everything windows had to be high volumes low margins. How could you charge more for a little phone that worked the same way as a net book at a higher price than a net book?
Ballmer is a weird and uncomfortable clown. He will be duly missed as such.
He well may blow that (well earned) severance package on bacon rinds and jet-skis.
And Mr. Ballmer, there is still time to get that Zune tramp-stamp you’ve been dreaming about before leaving Microsoft … that will motivate your hired army.
“You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.’”
No Steve, I’m sorry but you have to SOAK THE FACTS vs your delusions:
According to Forbes, you are in #86 and apple is #5 innovative company in the world.
At the time you said that, Apple is the most valuable company in the world and your company is some where in the 5th place.
Apple is the 9th most profitable company in the world while your company does not make it to the top 20.
by Revenue, apple is #20 and your company is no where to be found even at the 60 place.
So.. In which are do you “believe” you work at the greatest company in the world?
I’m crying too. On each anniversary of his departure, MDN needs to show video clips of that buffoon at work so we can remember a key component of MS’s downfall.
What a touching moment I’m sure watching monkey boy dance must have brought the crowd to it’s knees. I bet there wasn’t a dry eye in the house and lips that weren’t puckered.
I can’t speak for others but I was worried in the back of my mind about the future, but hearing Ballmer say “we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.” is such a comfort, as it pretty well guarantees that Microsoft will never deliver on the next best thing and will never change the world again, thank goodness, the world doesn’t need another dark age.
I sure hope he is involved with the CEO selection process.
This whole search will be interesting. Unless I am mistaken, Apple and IBM have been about the only new tech companies that have had successful resurgences. Although it will be a bit easier for whoever is next CEO as MS has ongoing profitability and good cash flow. Layoff 25% of the employees and that will improve the profit picture even more.
MDN Take: “Soak it in… because, as a result of my comprehensive ineptitude, the pink slips start flying as soon as my ass is safely out the door!”
Indeed. Especially if Stephen Elop is chosen as his Successor. This man has been a Hatchet Man at Nokia for the last several years. That may or may not be all he knows how to do, but if he becomes the new CEO at Microsoft, he will certainly significantly reduce Microsoft’s bloated workforce.
I can recall in about 2005 MDN writing a take something to the effect that “the war isn’t over” between Apple and Microsoft.
As big of an Apple fan as I was rocking my recently updated to Tiger eMac at home and my G5 powered iMac at work (plus a couple of iPods), I thought that seemed a bit delusional.
Then came 2007 and the iPhone launch, and for the first time it seemed remotely plausible. Still, if you would have described the landscape of 2013 to me back in 2005, I would not have believed it.
So whenever one of you whines that MDN’s take is off base somehow, don’t forget that this site believed in a day like this before anyone and deserve our patronage for that, if no other reason. Proud to have been coming here for my Apple fixes since the dark ages.
As we have always said, even as many short-sightedly waved (and continue to wave) the white flag, the war is not over. And, yes, we shall prevail… No company is invincible. Not even Microsoft. – MacDailyNews Take, January 10, 2005
That “next big thing” will be a series of fan videos of me twerking to today’s hottest hits! I am currently working on “Blurred Lines”, but since I have all this time since leaving MS, you can expect to see my sexy ass shakin’ it to “Get Lucky”, “Wrecking Ball”, and “Suit and Tie”!
Oh sweaty monkey boy… It seems like just yesterday you took over from Billy Bob.
Can’t say I will miss you, but I wish you could stay about five more years.
Here’s to 13 good long and unprosperous years!
Take your deck chairs home for your going away golden parachute and keep rearranging them on your back porch monkey boy!
Hahahahaha
Re: promising M$ will deliver he next big thing , while crying
I promise wahhahahaaaa
I hadn’t looked at the picture.
That pics going to be as classic as the monkey dance,
I hope someone at Microsloth got that final Monkey Dance on video and uploads it to YouTube. If anyone finds it post the link!
YES! We need a new video. I hope so too!
Maybe we’ll see Ballmer on “Dancing with the Stars” next!
Good luck finding someone willing to Monkey Dance with him.
MS will try to deliver the next big thing that will lock users into a hard to use box that they will barely tolerate but which the IT guys will love!
The funniest quote from his speech
He also took a swipe at rivals, declaring that Apple is about being “fashionable,” Amazon.com is about being “cheap,” Google is about “knowing more,” but Microsoft is about “doing more.”
This must mean Microsoft needs to be unfashionable, expensive and stupid. Sounds about right.
If you follow the link to the full article, you will be flabbergasted by some of the comments. Some people actually believe that Ballmer was a great and visionary CEO…visionary “in spades.”
I want to see the “Sound of Microsoft” video. Post it!
What do you expect? The Verge headline for reviews about the iPhone 5s was that they were “lukewarm”. A MS fanboy site of the first order.
I too read all those amazing praise Ballmer comments, and just though it was astounding. If they were not paid comments, I wondered what rock these people have been living under in Redmond. It also makes me think that if all that praise is sincere, then even with Ballmer gone there is hope that the downslide will likely continue due to that many delusional people still being employed there.
Their next big thing will be steaming hot and zune coloured.
The entire PC industry is set as low cost marginal equipment. The dominate hardware mfg’s inevitably became low budget operations. R&D all squeezed along the way. That’s why their early entries into phones and tablets were colossal failures. Everyone thought it had to be cheap, and thus the products were cheaply made, poorly thought out, and not made appealing to customers in any way. Everything windows had to be high volumes low margins. How could you charge more for a little phone that worked the same way as a net book at a higher price than a net book?
Ballmer was Microsoft’s last biggest thing.
All things Microsoft will now be on a diet.
bye to the fat bald ape,
we will miss his rampages on stage, nothing was funnier.
Yes, as he blubbered off stage muttering he was about to “deliver the next big thing”, he was last seen entering the mens room….
Ballmer is a weird and uncomfortable clown. He will be duly missed as such.
He well may blow that (well earned) severance package on bacon rinds and jet-skis.
And Mr. Ballmer, there is still time to get that Zune tramp-stamp you’ve been dreaming about before leaving Microsoft … that will motivate your hired army.
So, he’s leaving now? I thought it was a year away! Microsoft is the next Dell or Blackberry with or without him!
You are right… the word was in a year.
I guess a misunderstanding “Within this year”
… bye bye Ballmie.
Another Blackberry Rim or Dell?
Sure smells like it… is Microsoft; another Apple road kill?
Should be interesting.
It was his last annual meeting. If he leaves within a year of the announcement he won’t be at M$ for the next one.
‘we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.’
they forgot to add “/s” to the end of that sentence… lol
shadow coping Apple’s phasing and claims
No doubt. They didn’t change the world the first time. More like rode the wave because of a well written contract.
‘…we will deliver the next big thing’
ROTFLOL
The last vapourware hurrah!
Good riddance!
Ohhhh, MDN: any chance we can see that video of Ballmer do The Monkey Boy Dance one more time?
I want to see the new “The Sound of Microsoft” monkey boy dance! Come on, someone surely recorded it! Post it!
“You work for the greatest company in the world, soak it in.’”
No Steve, I’m sorry but you have to SOAK THE FACTS vs your delusions:
According to Forbes, you are in #86 and apple is #5 innovative company in the world.
At the time you said that, Apple is the most valuable company in the world and your company is some where in the 5th place.
Apple is the 9th most profitable company in the world while your company does not make it to the top 20.
by Revenue, apple is #20 and your company is no where to be found even at the 60 place.
So.. In which are do you “believe” you work at the greatest company in the world?
A bigger ass table?
More like a bigger ass.
Lol!
Even on the last day he is dis illusion all, there will be no next big thing from MS, just crap
There’s a little piece of Ballmer in all of us … unfortunately
Mine plopped in the loo at 5:20 this morning!
Thanks for the laugh!
” Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight, get down tonight…”
In honor of the “Disco Monkey”
I’m crying too. On each anniversary of his departure, MDN needs to show video clips of that buffoon at work so we can remember a key component of MS’s downfall.
He squirts, he soaks, he bounces all over the stage and makes animal noises.
That’s some legacy he’s got there.
And the tongue-wagging. He’s the Miley Cyrus of tech.
Now, there’s a mental image to deal with –
Steve Ballmer Twerking.
This is one website where it’s often more entertaining to read the comments than the articles!
What a touching moment I’m sure watching monkey boy dance must have brought the crowd to it’s knees. I bet there wasn’t a dry eye in the house and lips that weren’t puckered.
I can’t speak for others but I was worried in the back of my mind about the future, but hearing Ballmer say “we will deliver the next big thing… we will change the world again.” is such a comfort, as it pretty well guarantees that Microsoft will never deliver on the next best thing and will never change the world again, thank goodness, the world doesn’t need another dark age.
I sure hope he is involved with the CEO selection process.
Good riddance monkey boy.
You achieved nothing and nearly destroyed the company.
On second thoughts…. COME BACK!!!!
This whole search will be interesting. Unless I am mistaken, Apple and IBM have been about the only new tech companies that have had successful resurgences. Although it will be a bit easier for whoever is next CEO as MS has ongoing profitability and good cash flow. Layoff 25% of the employees and that will improve the profit picture even more.
MDN Take: “Soak it in… because, as a result of my comprehensive ineptitude, the pink slips start flying as soon as my ass is safely out the door!”
Indeed. Especially if Stephen Elop is chosen as his Successor. This man has been a Hatchet Man at Nokia for the last several years. That may or may not be all he knows how to do, but if he becomes the new CEO at Microsoft, he will certainly significantly reduce Microsoft’s bloated workforce.
I can recall in about 2005 MDN writing a take something to the effect that “the war isn’t over” between Apple and Microsoft.
As big of an Apple fan as I was rocking my recently updated to Tiger eMac at home and my G5 powered iMac at work (plus a couple of iPods), I thought that seemed a bit delusional.
Then came 2007 and the iPhone launch, and for the first time it seemed remotely plausible. Still, if you would have described the landscape of 2013 to me back in 2005, I would not have believed it.
So whenever one of you whines that MDN’s take is off base somehow, don’t forget that this site believed in a day like this before anyone and deserve our patronage for that, if no other reason. Proud to have been coming here for my Apple fixes since the dark ages.
Here, here!
This is the quote:
As we have always said, even as many short-sightedly waved (and continue to wave) the white flag, the war is not over. And, yes, we shall prevail… No company is invincible. Not even Microsoft. – MacDailyNews Take, January 10, 2005
What Ballmer meant to say was that the current big thing is walking his ass out the door.
That “next big thing” will be a series of fan videos of me twerking to today’s hottest hits! I am currently working on “Blurred Lines”, but since I have all this time since leaving MS, you can expect to see my sexy ass shakin’ it to “Get Lucky”, “Wrecking Ball”, and “Suit and Tie”!
See you later lard-arse!
Ballmer chose to exit with a Michael Jackson song. Nice touch! Only it should have been “Beat It.”
Oh sweaty monkey boy… It seems like just yesterday you took over from Billy Bob.
Can’t say I will miss you, but I wish you could stay about five more years.
Here’s to 13 good long and unprosperous years!
Take your deck chairs home for your going away golden parachute and keep rearranging them on your back porch monkey boy!
Job well done. Bring on eFlop…the saga continues.
Did he TWERK? I hope he did..I bet he TWERKS at home in his underwear….better yet in the NUDE! That would be awesome to see!!!
OK, so now I have THAT vile vision planted in my brain all morning! Thanks a lot Jubei!
Ballmer delivered the next big thing earlier this morning, right after his bran flakes and coffee 😉
And so it goes for microsoft…