Well, it’s finally happened. Microsoft’s Board of Directors finally awoke from their collective coma.
Microsoft’s press release, verbatim:
Microsoft Corp. today announced that Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer has decided to retire as CEO within the next 12 months, upon the completion of a process to choose his successor. In the meantime, Ballmer will continue as CEO and will lead Microsoft through the next steps of its transformation to a devices and services company that empowers people for the activities they value most.
“There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time,” Ballmer said. “We have embarked on a new strategy with a new organization and we have an amazing Senior Leadership Team. My original thoughts on timing would have had my retirement happen in the middle of our company’s transformation to a devices and services company. We need a CEO who will be here longer term for this new direction.”
The Board of Directors has appointed a special committee to direct the process. This committee is chaired by John Thompson, the board’s lead independent director, and includes Chairman of the Board Bill Gates, Chairman of the Audit Committee Chuck Noski and Chairman of the Compensation Committee Steve Luczo. The special committee is working with Heidrick & Struggles International Inc., a leading executive recruiting firm, and will consider both external and internal candidates.
“The board is committed to the effective transformation of Microsoft to a successful devices and services company,” Thompson said. “As this work continues, we are focused on selecting a new CEO to work with the company’s senior leadership team to chart the company’s course and execute on it in a highly competitive industry.”
“As a member of the succession planning committee, I’ll work closely with the other members of the board to identify a great new CEO,” said Gates. “We’re fortunate to have Steve in his role until the new CEO assumes these duties.”
Source: Microsoft Corp.
MacDailyNews Take:
Yeah, Monkey Boy “decided” to leave. Riiight. “To spend more time with his family,” surely.
Today we begin the hopefully long – as long as it takes™ – goodbye to the king of tech comedy fodder.
Ballmer T. Clown’s “original thoughts on timing” were to ride the Windows/Office monopolies for as long as he possibly could, until everyone realized he had no earthly idea what to do besides be repeatedly, unmercifully steamrolled by Steve Jobs’ Apple.
Mission accomplished, Uncle Fester!
The luckiest dorm assignment in the history of the universe has finally run out of luck.
So, in a nutshell: Ballmer plowed the S.S. Microtanic straight into the iceberg and then the BoD finally woke up long enough to decide to plop him into the nearest lifeboat. Bravo! The perfect ending to big dummy’s reign of incompetence. Of course, he’d never go down with the ship.
For as long as it took – and then some. A moment of silence, please.
(Psst: Hire Forstall. He can put curtains in the Windows.)
Related articles:
The irrelevance of beleaguered Microsoft – July 26, 2013
Former Xbox manager: To save Microsoft, Ballmer and thousands of others must go – June 15, 2013
Microsoft CEO Ballmer crashes and burns in final CES keynote – January 10, 2012
Microsoft CEO Ballmer laughs at Apple iPhone – January 17, 2007
Steve Jobs: Apple almost ruined by ‘sales guys’ in mid-90’s – January 25, 2004
The market has spoken…
Anyone but Balmer
That’s an awfully big sweat-stained blue oxford-cloth shirt for someone to fill.
My guess is that Dad has quietly taken the car keys, and might even end up as interim CEO.
Meanwhile, chez Ballmer: “No… Steve… not the tongue…”
Shit (Mr. Steve Ballmer) already dried in the pant (MSFT) , no matter how hard you try to scrub it off, the pant (MSFT) still stink!!
I feel like staring out a window on a rainy day with a sappy ’70s song playing in the background, thinking about all the good times I have had laughing at Monkey Ballsmer.
Seriously. I want him to stay for another 30 years! He has a lot more stupid ass ideas in the pipeline and they need to come out!
pffffft buh bye Ballmer and yes do hire Scottie as his replacement, he can join his older brother Bruce who is a senior software design engineer at Microsoft.
Forstall will fit in nicely with the culture of MS, let’s look at his CV:
– had such a poor relationship with Ive and Mansfield that he could not be in a meeting with them unless Cook mediated; reportedly, Forstall and Ive did not cooperate at any level
– was referred to by Fortune as the CEO-in-waiting, a profile that made him unpopular at Apple
– Forstall was responsible for the departure of Tony Fadell (SVP of hardware engineering) and Jean-Marie Hullot (CTO of applications) in 2005. Then-iPod chief Jon Rubinstein also had a strained relationship with Forstall.
– After Jobs’ death in 2011, Forstall was trying to gather power to challenge Cook
..SF as CEO in MS – a match made in heaven =)
He’s not done!!
Dusting off the Scrapbook of Shame, this face-blanching article fell out. From Microsoft’s halcyon days, in 2007, just before everything started to cave in for Steve and Bill, and their offspring.
http://gizmodo.com/310740/ballmer-describes-relationship-with-gates-as-husband+wife-brings-wrong-images-to-our-minds
It took until today …
I hear that John Scully is available.
Say it ain’t so!
BEST tech news of THIS CENTURY !!!
YAA HOO !!!
How many people can screw up at their job as bad as Ballmer and walk away with an estimated 12 billion dollars in the bank ?
Damn. Microsoft was a scam on so many levels.
It’s obvious I need to screw up more, I’m underpaid!
MONOPOLY.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Micro$oft needs you Ballmer!!!!
The stock spiked on news of his leaving ?
I wonder if he’ll get a bonus for bringing the stock up. haha
Hi future new CEO of Microsoft!
* Make Office for iPad. Quit trying to charge for Office 365 like it’s a rental. Make Office 365 free.
* Kill Metro.
* Make Windows 9 (sans Metro) in parallel with Windows X. Windows X should be built fresh from the ground up. Avoid the tile interface completely.
* Try one-upping the competition instead of just copying them failingly.
* Listen to your employees.
* Allow Ballmer to keep a chair or two for aerobic activities.
Maybe they can get Jim Balsillie, since he’s no longer busy being co-ceo of Blackberry.
Gonna miss that flying chair GIF. 😆
Gonna miss that flying chairs GIF. 😆
Sorry for the double post, guys. Mobile MDN does not paginate to show all comments, so I didn’t think my comment got posted.
Oh ye of little faith!
With his billions of dollars, I’m sure he’ll be just fine.
Will a movie be made about Ballmer? I would love to see that. Who would star?
Ballmer played by: ( Insert Actor or Actress )
Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein
LOL… perfect!
Where on earth is M$ going to find a CEO candidate as delusional as Stevie B? Who will they find lead M$ the rest of way down the drain? As for Stevie B retiring; he can always be a Tech Pundit! He can’t do any worse at making predilections then the current Pundits! 🙂
It’s the end of an error…
Regarding Forstall being mentioned as a possible replacement, a non-compete clause would likely preclude that from happening.
Scott was fired so I wonder if there would be a non-compete.
M$ hasn’t been competing since Stevie B became CEO; M$ has been heading down the drain. Hiring Forstall would complete the job. 🙂
Wow. I can’t believe I’m saying this but this is like a Victory Parade (not to be confused with the iPhone funeral) for MDN. Wow. You banged the drum for years on this doughboy and now he’s finally on his way out. This is awesome. Looking forward to a new era for Microsoft.