Well, it’s finally happened. Microsoft’s Board of Directors finally awoke from their collective coma.
Microsoft’s press release, verbatim:
Microsoft Corp. today announced that Chief Executive Officer Steve Ballmer has decided to retire as CEO within the next 12 months, upon the completion of a process to choose his successor. In the meantime, Ballmer will continue as CEO and will lead Microsoft through the next steps of its transformation to a devices and services company that empowers people for the activities they value most.
“There is never a perfect time for this type of transition, but now is the right time,” Ballmer said. “We have embarked on a new strategy with a new organization and we have an amazing Senior Leadership Team. My original thoughts on timing would have had my retirement happen in the middle of our company’s transformation to a devices and services company. We need a CEO who will be here longer term for this new direction.”
The Board of Directors has appointed a special committee to direct the process. This committee is chaired by John Thompson, the board’s lead independent director, and includes Chairman of the Board Bill Gates, Chairman of the Audit Committee Chuck Noski and Chairman of the Compensation Committee Steve Luczo. The special committee is working with Heidrick & Struggles International Inc., a leading executive recruiting firm, and will consider both external and internal candidates.
“The board is committed to the effective transformation of Microsoft to a successful devices and services company,” Thompson said. “As this work continues, we are focused on selecting a new CEO to work with the company’s senior leadership team to chart the company’s course and execute on it in a highly competitive industry.”
“As a member of the succession planning committee, I’ll work closely with the other members of the board to identify a great new CEO,” said Gates. “We’re fortunate to have Steve in his role until the new CEO assumes these duties.”
Source: Microsoft Corp.
MacDailyNews Take:
Yeah, Monkey Boy “decided” to leave. Riiight. “To spend more time with his family,” surely.
Today we begin the hopefully long – as long as it takes™ – goodbye to the king of tech comedy fodder.
Ballmer T. Clown’s “original thoughts on timing” were to ride the Windows/Office monopolies for as long as he possibly could, until everyone realized he had no earthly idea what to do besides be repeatedly, unmercifully steamrolled by Steve Jobs’ Apple.
Mission accomplished, Uncle Fester!
The luckiest dorm assignment in the history of the universe has finally run out of luck.
So, in a nutshell: Ballmer plowed the S.S. Microtanic straight into the iceberg and then the BoD finally woke up long enough to decide to plop him into the nearest lifeboat. Bravo! The perfect ending to big dummy’s reign of incompetence. Of course, he’d never go down with the ship.
For as long as it took – and then some. A moment of silence, please.
(Psst: Hire Forstall. He can put curtains in the Windows.)
Related articles:
The irrelevance of beleaguered Microsoft – July 26, 2013
Former Xbox manager: To save Microsoft, Ballmer and thousands of others must go – June 15, 2013
Microsoft CEO Ballmer crashes and burns in final CES keynote – January 10, 2012
Microsoft CEO Ballmer laughs at Apple iPhone – January 17, 2007
Steve Jobs: Apple almost ruined by ‘sales guys’ in mid-90’s – January 25, 2004
Nooooooooooooooo! Come back, Shane, come back!
OH NO!!!!
(insert face of Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” here.)
They were “fortunate” to have Steve like Germany was “fortunate” to have Adolf. “Never have so many been so “indebted” on the road to ruin to one so untalented & technologically clueless.”
It’s because:
Ballmer would put the light bulb in his mouth, but no matter how hard he tried, he could never get it to light up. 😛
The difference is his Fester mouth’s lightbulb cast darkness instead of light.
Actually his skull would light up. Like a neon sign “STUPID”
I cried! I panicked! Then I felt a little better since he has 12 months to screw up some more. Hopefully he will train the new person coming in on how to be a BALLMSMEAR!
That’s “within” 12 months… If it take Microsoft a full year to appoint a new CEO, purge the existing “leadership team,” and change direction, they are dead. That would mean Windows 8 continues on (and continues to hinder PC sales), with no replacement in the works. That would mean a round of planned updates for Surface and Surface Pro, and even more losses from unsold inventory.
Here’s my guess for what happens next…
* The urgency of the situation requires Ballmer be removed sooner, rather than later.
* While the search for a new CEO continues, Bill Gates steps in as the interim CEO (the “iCEO”).
* Gates later announces that the search for a new CEO has failed to find a suitable candidate, and he will take over as the permanent CEO, to save the company he founded.
Microsoft, copying Apple to the very end… 🙂
I was actually thinking Bill Gates might try to pull a Steve Jobs and come back and take over Microsoft, but then again, I don’t think Bill Gates did that much for Microsoft the first time around, so the board might not be as willing to take him back. 😉
The “board might not be as willing to take him back”? He’s the CHAIRMAN of that board! 🙂
Ah, yes. That changes things. Still, he’s no Steve Jobs. 😉
I agree. And most of the time, when Microsoft copies Apple, it’s too little too late…
Ballmer stepping down is an admission Bill Gates was wrong from day-one.
I could care less if Bill Gates invented the computer, he will forever be Paul Allen’s dumbest choice to run Microsoft and Mrs. Gate’s little boy Billy chose Steve Ballmer as the best man to lead Microsoft into the 21st Century.
I think he ran it in the ground and Bill Gates now knows, Microsoft will have to limp into port for a major overhaul.
Imagine the massive bilge pumps needed to clear the excrement from the hull of that obese boat that has been adrift since 1995.
Remember Windows 95 and that whole billion-dollar campaign to celebrate what an amazing man Bill Gates was?
wow. Bill Gates. his name is appropriate isn’t it?
Got computer problems? Bill Gates, he always pays his debts.
Only one man has the vision for Microsoft…
Rob Enderle.
You laugh, but I believe Enderle could have done just as good a job as Steve Ballmer.
At least when Enderle lies, people listen.
Gates? LOL. That’s actually pretty funny!
Ray Ozzie is Microsoft’s best hope, IMO.
Gates returning to Microsoft makes about as much sense as Paula Dean chairing the NAACP; both are so out of touch with one another they can’t even communicate anymore. Ballmer, like Steve Jobs, was a salesman, but unlike Jobs, Ballmer lacked any imagination whatsoever. He was pig.
If Ozzie returns, he’ll build the first desktop computer bearing the Microsoft logo running Microsoft Windows and finally Enterprise will move off of XP Pro and Windows Sleven.
The Veterans Administration of our government runs on Windows XP Pro!!!
Like Alan Kay said, and Steve Jobs proved; hardware & software designed by the same company yields not only superior products, but is a much better business model for a consumer-centric company like Apple, Inc.
Microsoft needs a dramatic transformation and not a line of products that are redesigned failures of Ballmer’s past. Those products failed because the formula was Function Follows Form.
Anyway, any of the people making their exodus in the last five-years probably told Ballmer to his face, he was wrong. They’re gone, but now Steve is too, so why wouldn’t the BoD embrace that talent pool?
@Okie
Love the Shane reference! My favorite Western. Alan Ladd and the super evil Jack Palance at their finest.
Don’t come back! MSFT stock price is UP! First Project Ballmer in charge of that brought positive results!
Sure didn’t help Apple’s stock price today.
KEEPING THIS THE TOP STORY?
silly… MDN wanted Ballmer to remain CEO forever.
Plus, everyone knows Microsoft is doing really poorly on Surface and Windows 8
as the PC market falls another 6 feet under each year.
I expected nothing less from Steve Jack.
No profound comments about the future of Apple’s greatest nemesis, just more childish comments that do nothing to advance the topic at hand, but only serve to provide humor at the expense of yet another American company?
Bad for Apple, perhaps. But Microsoft is good for America, MDN. Let’s hope they appoint someone you can get behind, so we don’t have to participate in your Rush Limbaugh style of media service.
In other words, why don’t you stop the MDN Take altogether, if all you do with it is ridicule?
Without a change in the board this could take on shades of jcpenny.
Maybe he should receive a pension from Apple.
Where is the succession plan? When Steve jobs was ill all the pundits could bitch about was the lack of a public succession plan for Apple. The fact that Microsoft now has to begin a search for a CEO is appalling. Stupid is as stupid does. It doesn’t surprise me that this incompetent boob has failed in even the most basic function of a CEO.
Before getting notified about this post, here’s the CNN breaking news text message I got:
“Microsoft says CEO Steve Ballmer will retire within 12 months. No successor named. Stock surges.”
😀
CNBC headline “Stocks rise at open; MSFT surges on Ballmer retirement”
maybe Ballmer T Clown’s children can get an iPod now.
Yep. But he will be forced to leave it in the car when in Bill’s backyard for barbecue and ball games.
Last I saw Ballmer own 333M shares. So on this news he has increased his worth by $715M.
Ah, the reign of King Balmy the Turd ( oops, the third ) is almost over.
The cash induced coma of the Microsoft BOD has ended.
The question now – is it already too late? MS’s brand has been massively damaged under the Ballmer regime, and now they’re behind in pretty much every key market segment but XBox and Office.
Xbox was third this generation, behind Wii and PS3
Did the 360 really do that badly? I know the PS3 was kind of slow getting out of the gate, basically because their launch price was astronomical, and so the 360 was able to gain ground really quickly. Did the PS3 eventually make that up? I know I went with the 360 since it was less expensive. (plus I have an interest in game design, and let’s face it – as bad as Windows is, it’s easier to port from Windows into XBox SDK than into PS3. 😉 )
They didn’t do that bad, but even with a year head start PS3 now outsold it by a half million (vgchartz.com). However Apple is selling almost more iOS devices in a quarter than Xbox 360 in a lifetime, at a much higher price.
A little to late. Hestill going to milk another 12 months be abandoning a sinking ship.
If this follows the typical Microsoft timeline, that 12 months will translate to another 18 to 24 months of Ballmer goodness!
Now his left nut can finally get some quiet time to itself.
Yeah, he’ll return home next to his right nut.
I’m wondering if his tongue will be retiring as well.
Speaking of that particular piece of anatomy, I recall reading about some sort of uncommon neurological condition that causes those with it to unconsciously stick out their tongue.
I wonder if Ballmer has it as I’ve never seen anyone, ever, stick out their tongue like he has in so many photos.
Gene Simmons.
At least he has something to show off, lol.
*snort*
Every time I see BOD, I read Blue Screen of Death.
I like this news… I like it a LOT.
I don’t. Who are we going to make fun of? Time to bring Stephen Elop back into the fold.
Perhaps we can move into an era where all tech CEOs are worthy of respect, regardless of who they work for?
Nah, probably not.
Hate to see him go!
Ha, biggest boost to MSFT in years!.
+1
I don’t like this strategy, not a lot. Microsoft needs to keep Ballmer on for a decade more. 😈
OTOH, if they’re actually firing Ballmer T. Clown maybe it’s time to buy a few shares of MSFT.
Who could his replacement be?
Tim Cook.
FIRE Tim Cook!
Marissa Mayer, of course. 😀
Forstall
nothing is impossible, especially when there are hard feelings, a hard core personality and a score to even.
actually it would not surprise me.
Wow, that’s an unusual suggestion. That would be a nightmare scenario for Apple from a narrow PR perspective.
Did Gates have another room mate at Harvard?
I LIKE that reply… I like it a lot.
Bill wants to come back to revive MS so that he can mimic Steve’s second coming!!!!
No matter Bill, this STILL will not make you cool.
Me! I could use the money.
Will ruin Microsoft. Reasonable rates.
John Dvorak
The CEO at Microsoft will be pretty attractive to a lot of great leaders and innovators. Microsoft is a sinking ship but somebody out there wants to be the one to save it. Everyone wants to be the next Steve Jobs after all. It will be really interesting to see what happens. I hope they get the right person for the job. I love Apple but im getting pretty annoyed that they are the only ones innovating right now.
The CEO at Microsoft will be a pretty attractive position for a lot of great leaders and innovators. Microsoft is a sinking ship but somebody out there wants to be the one to save it. Everyone wants to be the next Steve Jobs after all. It will be really interesting to see what happens. I hope they get the right person for the job. I love Apple but im getting pretty annoyed that they are the only ones innovating right now.
You can say that again
Michael Spindler! Give the man a second chance to really drive a big company against a tree.
Lol! MSFT stock way up on this news.
FIRE Tim Cook. NOW!
Guess you want to impeach Obama too
Microsoft can be turned around. In fact, with a few tweaks, Windows 8 and its tablet can be refined into a worthy competitor to iOS/OSX. I mean, even if they had added these, things might not have been so had:
– start button
– visual indicator for key functions
The above two would not have solved everything, but would have gone a great way to avoided a total balls up.
I think the selection of the next Microsoft CEO could really turn things around. Things are not a total disaster for MS, yet.
Apple needs Microsoft to be clawing its heels to tighten its game. I feel sad for Microsoft, sympathy for Uncle Fester. He didn’t know any better. He’s kindly old sort of fellow.
Sure, anything’s possible. Apple was tanking until Steve Jobs came back and saved it.
Apple has never needed Microsoft to claw its heels to up its game. It’s like saying the Miami Heat need competition from the Washington Generals to up its game.
actually the Miami Heat always have their best games against the best teams in the league. If you watch a season they will always drop games to the wizards or bucks but blowout the knicks, pacers or just most .500 teams….so ya..theres some bball for you.
With the reorganization recently announced, the company is going to be in chaos. If the reorg is very far along, the new CEO is going to have to reorg the reorg given the taint of Ballmer’s thinking/strategy being infused in the recent reorg. This drama has years of life in it, just like the jcpenney story after the board did not give Ron Johnson the time he needed to turn that company around.
Still wont change the fact of how bloated the operating system is. Its gonna take alot of work to cull out all that bloat, maybe by version 16 it will be able to compete.
Microsoft has needed to throw out Windows and start over with a Unix based OS, like Apple did. If the new CEO takes them in that direction it will be 5 years before it’s ready for sale to the public. If the new CEO does anything else Microsoft will continue circling the bowl. The latter is the only possibility as long as Gates dominates the BOD. He will not allow Windows (based on DOS) to be thrown out.
My prediction is that Gates will continue to veto dumping DOS based Windows, a new CEO will be chosen that accepts that decision, and Microsoft is still doomed.
“… as long as Gates dominates the BOD.”
Well, Gates let them let go of Ballmer. Gates may not have as much power as you think.
That said – I still think that MS is doomed.
Well this is certainly shitty news to wake up to.
Agreed.
I’m sure Ballmer had a tap on the shoulder and told his days were numbered. Sure, he may have made the decision to retire, but I’m damn sure it wasn’t only his burning desire to retire that has prompted this announcement.
He’s a salesman, he would never quit selling on his own. He got Da Boot.
A dark day indeed. We here in the Apple camp will seriously miss his incompetence. I doubt they could pick a stupider CEO (but here’s hoping!).
Goodbye Monkey-boy. It’s been great…
We need to start a petition to keep Ballmer at MS!! This is our duty! MDN, lead the charge!
Now where are they going to find a replacement with the same sterling qualities as Stevie B? Maybe Stevie B will have to serve as CEO for a good long time yet! 🙂
Is it Christmas already?
If only Steve was alive to see this….
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I hope his golden parachute is not operated by windows. It could be a rough landing.
maybe, just maybe the bs I have to go through using windows at work will decrease. doubt it, but i’m hopeful, please new ceo at microsoft, please cut the bs out of windows and office and the way you have to manage files, and the screwball way you have to deal with a network connection in a hotel room and “security updates” and installing software and licensing requirements and backing up and document version control and installing new hardware and changing from one computer to another and a vpn and password management and finding something on your hardrive or thumbdrive and inaccurate battery life indications and inaccurate file transfer or copy times and and and and i’ve lost hope doesn’t matter who the ceo is using windows/office and “legacy” programs sucks.