UBS slashes Microsoft Surface estimate in half

“When Microsoft next reports earnings, don’t expect Surface sales to be a highlight,” John Paczkowski reports for AllThingsD.

“UBS analyst Brent Thill estimates that Microsoft sold just one million Surface RT tablets during the December quarter,” Paczkowski reports. “Citing ‘a difficult iPad compare and narrow distribution,’ Thill cut his previous estimate of two million RTs in half, and said he now expects Surface sales of 2.5 million units for all of Microsoft’s fiscal 2013.”

Paczkowski reports, “Thill’s note follows a similar bulletin last week from J.P. Morgan analyst John DiFucci, who lowered his estimates on Microsoft for largely the same reasons. He forecast Surface unit sales of just 700,000 for the December quarter… ”

Read more in the full article here.

MacDailyNews Take: And, now that the marketing geniuses at Microsoft have throughly trashed the Surface brand, they will now attempt to sell even more expensive “Surface Pro” units.

Big Dummy BallmerIt takes a new level of stupidity to launch the Surface the way Microsoft did, with the least promising models first, in far too few outlets, priced way too high, with insipidly vapid introductory advertising and then, after racking up poor reviews and awful unit sales, try to sell the “real” Surface tablets. Way to take a dump all over your branding yet again, fools.

What did you think was going to happen, Microsoft? Oh, sorry, “think?” Microsoft obviously does no such thing. Forget about Marketing 101, a kindergartner could have seen this coming. Create a positive first impression. Lead with your best. Maximize your chances for success. (It isn’t rocket science. Sheesh.)

Whoever devised the Surface rollout should just give up and join the circus where their “talents” would be far better suited. A big, bald, dancing monkey could be a big draw!

Zune. Vista. Kin. Surface. How many strikes does Ballmer T. Clown get before he’s out? Ballmer must have compromising photos of Bill Gates. It’s the only explanation left, unless Gates doesn’t give a zune what happens to his derivative, failing, perpetual Apple wannabe clusterfsck.

Any person of average intelligence randomly hired off the street could run Microsoft better than Steve Ballmer.

Led by a clown in a job he cannot even remotely begin to handle, Microsoft is a band of yes-men, fools, copiers, and political schemers who deserve all of the failure they continually invite – and then some.

Related articles:
With Surface tanking, clueless Microsoft digs faster – December 19, 2012
Below the Surface lies Microsoft’s impending doom – December 14, 2012
Interest in Microsoft’s Surface tablet plummeted 53% after product details, price revealed – December 14, 2012
Beleaguered Microsoft’s Surface tablet flops – December 12, 2012
MKM Partners cuts Microsoft price target, estimates on lower than expected Surface, Windows 8 sales – December 5, 2012
Why Microsoft’s Surface tablet is doomed – December 5, 2012
App developers shun Microsoft’s Surface tablet – December 4, 2012
Microsoft Surface Pro to offer only half the battery life of Apple’s latest iPad with Retina display – November 30, 2012
Microsoft’s Surface Pro iPad killer to start at $899 – November 29, 2012
Microsoft’s Surface tablet flops, orders reportedly cut in half – November 29, 2012
TechCrunch’s Siegler reviews Microsoft Surface RT: ‘It’s time for a drop test – right into the garbage can’ – November 19, 2012
Slate reviews Microsoft’s Surface tablet: Too slow, mercilessly buggy; why is it so bad? – November 6, 2012
InfoWorld reviews Microsoft Surface RT: A disappointment; you’re better off with Apple’s iPad – October 31, 2012
Gizmodo reviews Microsoft Surface RT: Do not buy; inferior to Apple’s iPad; the worst of both worlds – October 25, 2012
The Verge reviews Microsoft Surface RT tablet: ‘The whole thing is honestly perplexing; who is this for?’ – October 24, 2012
ZDNet’s Kingsley-Hughes: Microsoft’s Windows 8 is an awful, horrible, painful design disaster – June 8, 2012
Analyst meets with big computer maker, finds ‘general lack of enthusiasm’ for Windows 8 – June 8, 2012
Dvorak: Windows 8 an unmitigated disaster; unusable and annoying; it makes your teeth itch – June 3, 2012
The Guardian: Microsoft’s Windows 8 is confusing as hell; an appalling user experience – March 5, 2012
More good news for Apple: Microsoft previews Windows 8 (with video) – June 1, 2011

35 Comments

    1. MDN: “Any person of average intelligence randomly hired off the street could run Microsoft better than Steve Ballmer.”

      Now, come on…

      Just because Ballmer is a member of the ‘luckiest room-mate in the world club’ doesn’t mean that he’s totally incompetant. He has proven himself to be an exemplary sweat-laden, cheerleading monkey.

      In fact, I think Ballmer should continue to remain the CEO of MS indefinitely.

      Or, at least, for as long as it takes.

      I like his strategy. I like it a lot!

  1. Ballmer’s incontinent incompetence is blatantly on display. Surface RT and Surface Pro go the way of Dodo at lightning speed leaving Microsoft with a dying business model. When you advertise the only nice feature of your new device is that it clicks and you can dance to it thats pretty sad.

    1. I expect—no, demand—blaring headlines about this abject disaster, followed by an segment on The Today Show with a frowning Matt Lauer. I mean, that happens with Apple. Isn’t Microsoft just as compelling news fodder?

      1. Didn’t see the episode with Matt Lauer. Of course I never watch the Today show so I wouldn’t have seen it anyway. Matt Lauer is a dope. So he did a segment on Apple? When? Personally I don’t care about Microsoft. I don’t use their product. I don’t invest in their company. But I guess it’s something for fanboys to throw around?

  2. A relative got one over Christmas and now that’s exactly what he wants to do with it… slash it in half. I used the little half-wit, backward, inside out Surface RT for 15 minutes. What a miserable waste of natural resources. The numb nut had used my iPad extensively when his PC died and loved it. He had his dinosaur box fixed and decided to go with the RT since it would be ” more compatible” with his PC. Had he asked me I would have told him that RT don’t play that game. He was SUPER upset when he got it home and found out RT don’t play nicely with Windoze 7 or Weight. It’s now in the return bin. He got an iPad mini and is now harassing me to help him buy a Mac. Oh, the computer stupid and their travails!

  3. The thing that stunned me was the cover and keyboard. Pitched as the leading edge innovative feature by Microsoft.
    When brought to market, it turned out that this was a 100 or $130 option on a product priced in parity with the iPad ? ! ? ! ?

    IMHO the keyboard cover is a fairly lame option in any case, and it only reenforces MS’s vision of MS desktop everywhere idea.

    1. EXACTLY. The Surface RT never was about users. It was about trying to keep users addicted to crappy Office software. RT and Pro are about protecting Microsoft’s Office cash cow. Not about competing with iPad and surely not about providing an excellent user experience. As usual Microsoft is most concerned about protecting their legacy products and not providing excellent user-centric devices.

    2. Surface RT’s are not even priced in parity with the iPad.

      You have to remember to lop-off 12-16Gb off the spec sheet because of the bloated OS and “apps”.

      A 32Gb Surface RT should be compared to a 16Gb iPad with Retina Display – the iPad is actually cheaper!

  4. Let Britney alone!!!, I mean, Barnie alone!!!
    What you don’t realize guys is that Steve Balmer wants to lower Microsoft Shares as low as he can so they can privatize Microsoft just as Mike Dell is doing, they are not stupid, they have a plan… Ok, I give you that, they are stupids 🙁

  5. I finally got to use a Surface at BB, it was worse than I thought. It was award to hold in both landscape and portrait. Forget about using the soft keyboard in portrait, it can’t slide like a iPad so you have to hold it at the bottom. The great keyboard cover does not latch, or stick to the top so when you move it the cover flops down. I know there is a learning curve to any software, however the gestures suck; pulling down on the top edge so something appears on the bottom makes no sense. I keep hearing about a ecosystem with the phone. The phone has a different OS and is not compatible: you can’t use the same apps on both. You can use the same modern apps on a Win8 PC, don’t see a big advantage there.
    I don’t understand why the Android fanbois have not been all over this, I have tried to Google it. Not open, one seize, no cell network, no camera; this has less features than the iPad 1. I guess all they do is hate Apple.

  6. Isn’t the market so fair when it comes to this? $40 bucks wiped off AAPL when some POS paper recycles old news. One investment bank reduces their estimate of Microsoft tablets by 50%, and nothing at all happens. Guess thats already “priced in” to MSFT – tablets really are nothing, so 50% of nothing is zilch.

  7. Gates doesn’t give a zune what happens to his derivative, failing, perpetual Apple wannabe clusterfsck.

    My understanding is that a good bit of the money he is using to try to buy his way into heaven is from MSFT stock. The stock tanks, his attempt as redemption as a human being falters.

  8. Was just at the mall today. As I passed by a very crowded Apple store I noticed a neaeby Microsoft kiosk for the surface with absolutely no one around except a couple of desperately bored-looking employees.

  9. Leaked memo from Mr Ballmer’s office:

    InterOffice memo #25,300,451: Surface into 2013 and beyond [if at all possible]: 4pm

    To – Surface design team (those of you not fired yet):

    Aims – To build on the phenominally modest sales of the Surface – futher design goals for generation 2, the Real Surface::

    – add an edge thumbwheel so that users can vary the colour of the BSOD to avoid clashing with local decor – should make it a little less bloody annoying

    – add a rising tone generator to warn of imminent appearance of the BSOD, to better warn users they are about to lose everything since the last save, a split second’s warning COULD make all the difference.
    Gotta be careful we don’t make it sound like a grenade’s gonna go off or the fire brigade’s on the way…

    – BSOD extra: the tone generator can also help to cover up the shriek people emit as they realise all their work is going down the toilet, maybe followed by soothing tones (whale song anyone?) to bring them back down again.

    – BSOD double extra: add a sliding cup holder so that the Surface still has at least SOME functionality when the BSOD appears (maybe get to sell styrofoam cups as a little revenue generator on the side?? Gotta get some cash from somewhere)

    – add a random timing event to slide the Charms bar into view every now and again to remind everyone where the hell we’ve hidden it.

    – can we come up with some ideas to replace the childish sounding “Charms” bar – try “WheredItGo” bar or “WhatTheFscksItDoingOverThere?” bar, see what sticks…lemme know huh??

    – add unobtrusive axle stands to the underside of the case so that its a little more obvious how to convert the device to a skateboard. We can sell this as “Extended Usage” – lets make that a Microsoft mantra from now on?? Got it? “Extended Usage”! Good.

    – animate the live tiles so that when users touch them and nothing happens it still looks something is going on, you know, sorta like the lights ARE on but no one’s at home effect….

    Anyway, just a few ideas, let me know your thoughts by 6 pm this evening, shouldn’t take very long to actually improve this GREAT little device! Lets go get that damn iPad and whup Steevy boy!!

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