“Our sources close to Microsoft have confirmed that the company wants to reach out for the retail market presence. Microsoft wants to open and create many retail shops dedicated exclusive to Microsoft and its products,” Fuad Abazovic reports for Fudzilla.
“This is something that Apple did with its many Apple retail stores around the world. Microsoft will put its retail people in the shops with hope that these skilled people will be able to show the true Microsoft experience,” Abazovic reports.
Full article here.
[Thanks to MacDailyNews Reader “Joe Architect” for the heads up.]
The true Microsoft experience? Frustration and mediocrity hardly beckon for a retail showcase. This is just more half-assed copying of Apple. What are they going to do, instead of intricate staircases, install glass ledges from which their suckers customers can leap?
At least Microsoft Retail Stores would be colorful with all of their Red Rings and Blue Screens of Death and Brown Zunes on clearance.
At Microsoft Retail Store Grand Openings, the first 1,000 people to visit get a free bottle of Pepto. Microsoft will still have 900+ bottles left after the first week.
Fact: If they tried to open retail stores, Microsoft would be about as successful as Gateway or Dell. Anyone who says differently lacks even the vaguest understanding of why Apple dominates retail like none other.
Aghahahahahahahaha
This is the funniest thing I’ve heard in a long time.
?First?
Yet another example of “You can’t make this S#*t up!!!
LOL
MW=”few” Just too perfect
They should open them right next to the Apple stores and see what happens!
This is hilarious.
The stores would get egged at best and possibly stoned!
Customers could actually confront them with the problems they experience with their products. That would be a hoot.
I suggest that, should such stores open, we encourage anyone who has ever encountered a Microsoft-based problem (i.e. everyone) to confront the poor saps working there.
No need to kill the minimum-wage messenger, but if it’s a constant barrage of negative comments from “customers” in these stores, the less-informed passers-by may start associating their computer problems with the company actually responsible for most of them.
To truly reproduce the Microsoft experience, they’ll have to flood the HVAC with airborne pathogens and require everyone to put on a Norton™ gas mask when they walk in. Oh, and let shady Russian mafiosos look at your credit card numbers.
this is sad.
can’t they do anything original
they look so pathetic.
at least the stores will have relaxing blue lighting
When you check out, the checker will tell you 10 different way to pay and options on how you want your receipt printed. When they bag it, you have to choose 10 types of bags. Do you want basic to premium bag?
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April 1st was a couple of weeks ago.
The thought of a Microsoft store makes me ill.
What will they sell?
Windows, mice keyboards, XBox and the Big-Ass Table?
I’m beginning to think of Microsoft as an elaborate money laundering operation.
Sure, they’ll be opening in 2009, no wait 2010, or maybe 2011. There’ll be 5 versions of the store, with a different entry fee for each. They’ll also need to authenticate you before you enter, and at other odd times if for example you take your hat off while in the store. Occasionally all the staff will freeze in one spot for about 10 minutes.
Oh, and don’t be in there on a Tuesday.
This makes no sense at all. What are they going to complete with their partners again? Sheesh, MS is so screwed up.
Can you imagine what the color scheme would look like? Are there going to be multiple stickers all over the walls?
Mr. Rheee … my thoughts exactly. Someone in the marketing department somewhere forgot to file this story on April 1st.
When I went to Brazil, a few years ago, the hotel I stayed in had an internet cafe. Every morning the technicians would install a “fresh” copy of Windows and by night time the machines were stuffed to the gills with malware and porn ads. If M$ tries to have machines that users can play with just like the Mac store…I can just imagine how the PC’s will look at the end of each day at the M$ shop.
Just my $0.02
Over 95% market share and they have to open stores?! Wow.
It would be like those places in Japan where people can go to break dishes and smash things.
LOL – So that’s how Microsoft is gonna piss off all it’s business partners in one go.
Excellent.
And yet again – they copy Apple’s lead.
Imagine the dire shopping experience you are going to get at a Microsoft store.
I can see it now… there will be nothing you can buy in the store and as soon as you enter the shop a Microsoft Salesmans demands your credit card details and brainwashes you into buying an enterprise Windows Vista Licence.
LOL. – this has the word FAIL written all over it.
How will they show Windows off? Are they going to have non Microsoft hardware in-store? As last time I checked, Microsoft don’t make their own computers for Windows.
This is great news. Please please please have your outlent in a suburban mall beside a Starbucks. Can you imagine sitting outside on a lovely sunny day enjoying a capuccino and watching what people would do to the store? Most people I know hate MS (and the majority of these are PeeCee users).
This would be like going to a stoning or a hanging like in the good old days.
Finally, Zune Tang’s “skills” can be used. Hey Tang, you can finally move out of your mom’s basement and maybe afford a place of your own.
Personally, I welcome Steve Ballmer’s latest ‘innovation’ in taking Microsoft into the retail space: actually they should open retail stores in every main street and shopping mall in North America, Europe and Japan.
Just a couple of questions though…
• If the stores are Microsoft products only and most people are already running a Windows-based computer, what will they be buying from the store? Zune? An Intellimouse?
• If the stores also sell hardware, which OEM will they favour? HP (in which case, you offend Dell and the rest)? Dell (in which case you offend HP and the rest)? Why be an OEM partner to a company that doesn’t see you as a partner? Let’s ask all the companies that signed up to PlayedForSure.
• Maybe you won’t favour a single OEM and instead you’ll see hardware from many manufacturers? I’m sure that’ll be acceptable to Fry’s, BestBuy, PC World and all the other resellers.
No, I’m sure all of these questions are unnecessary! A massive intellect like Steve Ballmer would have thought of all of these issues.
MS’s NYC grand opening of its first store will include an almost-live concert of the Stones playing Wheel Me In.
The opening will be delayed six weeks because of a shortage of bullet-proof vests for the “associates.”
Magic Word: indeed.
That article sounds like it was written by Zune Tang. Are we sure that is not a reprint of something released on April 1?
What?
This is a becoming reality! http://www.theonion.com/content/news/thousands_wait_overnight_at
They can hire the homeless to staff the Genius (not) counter.